In my own experience, there’re some “stages” of these emotion trains depending on your age.
FYI, I’m a firstborn of two brothers.
When I were very young, around 5 y.o. to 7, your parents will show strong emotion of love and caring. Even abusing myself is the part of that “loving and caring.” My parents said it was because “I were doing something totally wrong” and they want to show me that it’s something inappropriate.
When I’m grown up, around 12 y.o., my brother born. And my dad who used to lash me with that thick leather belt (ah, memories ) begins to go easy. No more belt. Well, he do pinch my thigh sometimes (and it’s hurt as hell. He has such a thick fingers)
However, despite those “abuse”, my parents and me begin to develop a more “friendly” relationship. That’s said, my parents as my friend. We talk about school a lot, about friends, about bitter reality of life, and so on.
Now I’m 19. I went to faraway college at 18. The only moments I have to contact with them is either via video-call or when I occasionally return home (which is twice per year). There’s a lot of… well… I call it “heartwarming” moments lately, especially since I’ve some problems with my college :v
Anyway, they told me that they begin to miss me sometimes. Once, my mum called. She said if my dad, who is known for his discipline and stern-ness, often weep when staring to my empty bedroom back at home. And she can’t help it but to feel sad too. And everyone begin to sobbing. Fortunately, being pretty good at breaking the ice, I always told them, “Dad’s crying? Aw, come on. I’ll be home this June/December. I’m waiting for the tempe penyet.” (It’s soy chips grind-ed with traditional chili sauce)
This year, my 'lil bro (he has chubby cheek that one. Love pinching him ) will be having national-exams. I know he’ll need all support he can get and I always offer him help whenever he found some difficulties at answering some questions.
Well, that being said, if you need a living example of healthy family, here I am.
P.S.: Sorry, I know this isn’t the thread to vent my feelings, but I can’t help it since it’s my story…
Uh, I know where the door is.