your excitement is so motivating, definitely the kind of reaction i was hoping for ^^
2 Likes
thank you so much!!!
It sure didnāt! I need MORE of this, ASAP. Seriously though, I really, REALLY like your writing style, itās so good, the prose is great. Iām no expert, but it feels very professionally done, in a NOT bland way. Also, itās already been said that setting the POV away from the MC for the prologue is actually quite good for setting the stage and do some worldbuilding, but Iād also like to add that IMO it helps in making the MC feel like an actual part of the world, instead of just a self-insert or vessel for the player/reader.
The one thing Iād point out, which isnāt really a complaint, it is an Arcane-inspired story after all (and that IS why I came here in the first place lol) is that some of the locations and character archetypes feel so conceptually similar to those from Arcane, thatās itās hard to visualize them as their own distinct characters. Like, for example, when I think of Marek the person Iām actually picturing in my head is Vander, and for the battle in the bridge I was really just picturing the bridge from Arcane, and of course the very first scene of the show. Again, not really a bad thing, that IS kind of the point, just something I noticed. I imagine people who havenāt watched Arcane will have no trouble with that. Or maybe itās just a me thing lol.
The grammar is great too, only noticed a couple cases of missing punctuation (āāNot after what will happen tonightāā is missing a period, and there was another case of it but I uhā¦ forgot where it was) or a missing letter (In Myloās POV, āāTears fall freely down his cheeks as his shoulder slumpāā shoulder is missing an āsā). Not a big deal, just pointing it out so you can fix it later.
But anyways, Iām really into this WIP. Arcane left me with a hole inside, and your story is helping to fill it. Hope to see more soon, but no pressure, take the time you need to cook!
10 Likes
these are such lovely things to say, thank you so much!!! it means a lot that you enjoyed the prologue 
yes, there are definitely a lot of elements inspired by the show! iād say the dual state-cities setting, the enforcers, and government system are the most prominent ones. the characters are also inspired by what we see in Arcane (yes, like Marek and Vander! though Marekās definitely a more pessimistic guy haha). i just think Arcane crafted its characters so well, and iāve watched soooo many videos analysing them and their arcs. definitely a masterclass in characterisation imo, i can only hope to get as close as possible to the amount of thoughtfulness and character depth!
AAHH NOOO i knew someone would notice something at some point. thanks for pointing it out, iāll fix it soon!! definitely not transferring the text from docs to the coding file at 3 am again lol
9 Likes
I think I based my character if the choices demanded she is not trying to find her brother she thinks heās dead or somewhere better her situation is she views her people The people around her as the main priority The people that are helping her so she will pretty much put more effort on trying to protect and secure the safety of The people around them based on my own preference is I seen in life I focus on the present and the future not the past so I think I mix in with my cake youāre pretty well what I would do here and now when Iām stuck in a sticky situation like this if my character finds out the brother is still alive or living in different life my character wonāt blame him or feel anger or resentment itās just how it is but if he join the dark side Iām sorry Iām going to punch him in the face without holding regards
2 Likes
Not bad, definitely interested. Canāt wait for update
1 Like
thatās a fair take, weāll just have to wait and see haha, iām so happy youāve put so much thought behind your MCās personality already!
3 Likes
thank you!!
thank you, thatās sweet to say!! hope you like season 2 if you ever end up watching it ^^
1 Like
Once its in players viewpoint, I can and do self insert. Its nice to build the past and make it my own. As āIā am actually within it. History build helps.
I am there not looking at a screen.
@fawnbonez Also, my plan is to watch Season 2. I believe I will enjoy it. Not as much as Iād enjoy IF though.
4 Likes
I agree, I like having as much room as possible to customize the MC and their background.
3 Likes
I got hooked right from the summary but after reading i became deeply invested, please i hope you donāt end up dropping it like some other interesting WIP
Also if i may ask when is the next update
3 Likes
Iām going to put so much tension in the story by giving my character NPD.
2 Likes
haha thatās nice to say, thank you!
1 Like
iām glad you liked it!! obviously this is just an estimation, but my goal is early february ^^
3 Likes
the world is your oyster
3 Likes
Just to make you aware, Dashingdon hosting will be closing soon so I would recommend moving this to cogdemos or uploading a compiled html file:
3 Likes
thank you!!! i will be definitely transferring this to cogdemos by the end of this week!
10 Likes
oh my god this is so good alreadyā¦ I am following with keen eyes
4 Likes
thank you!!!
7 Likes