This Path of Mine (WIP with Demo.)


#1

In 2130 the world was devastated by World War III. Thanks to the highly advanced technology no country was left unscathed by the fallout and twenty years later your story begins.

Born into a world where all structure has broken down, with basic necessities now considered a luxury, you were lucky enough to be born on a fishing ship. The food was never scarce and your family always had enough trade material to get what you couldn’t make yourselves. Life was good…until tragedy struck.

At age twelve you find yourself orphaned and alone. Choose between three factions. Your choices will help decide not only your fate, or the fate of the faction you choose, but perhaps even your entire known world.

Meet the factions:

Foundation of Peace(F.o.P): The F.o.P became one of the most well-known factions in Asia in 2157. They act as a makeshift Red Cross, following behind the other two more destructive factions and doing its best to fix the damages caused to the innocent people left in their wakes. However, there’re rumors about a dark secret being harbored between the leaders of the organization.

Notable members include:

Chiyoko Miyamoto: Leader of the F.o.P
Hiroshi Miyamoto: Second in command, cousin to Chiyoko.
Nari Seo: Nineteen-year-old prodigy and extraction leader.
Kazue Yajima: Head doctor of the F.o.P’s medical facilities.
Miwa Hamasaki: Tech Specialist.
Aaliyah Kattan: Espionage Specialist.
Adair O’Brien: Combat Specialist.

Around MC’s age:
Boys:
Saburo Oshiro: Apprentice to Aaliyah Kattan. Age 15.
Daisuke Taizaki: Apprentice to Kazue Yajima. Age 13.

Girls:
Lei Zhào: Apprentice to Nari Seo. Age 13.
Liling Zhào: Apprentice to Adair O’Brien. Older sister to Lei. Age 17.

Oshiro Clan: The Oshiro Clan is a crime syndicate that rules over most of Asia and Southeast Asia which first rose to power in 2151. They’re known to be ruthless, cutthroat, and possessive of their territory. Often their fighters are seen clashing with members of the F.o.J or being rebuked by members of the F.o.P. However, tales of immense loyalty among the higher ranked members are whispered among the general populace and it is well known that the Oshiro Clan favors family above all else.

Notable members:

Hideaki Oshiro: Leader of the Oshiro Clan and first heir.
Minori Oshiro: Second heir and second in command.
Seiichi Asano: Trusted ally of Hideaki and second commander of the Oshiro-gumi.
Hitomi Fugaki: Lead doctor.
Kimiko Kamiya: Espionage leader.
Rin Mizuno: Tech Specialist

Around MC’s age:
Boys:
Yasushi Ishikawa: Apprentice to Kimiko Kamiya. Age 14
Myung Soung: Apprentice to Seiichi Asano. Age 15

Girls:
Bong-Cha Chi: Apprentice to Rin Mizuno. Age 13
Daiyu Sun: Apprentice to Hitomi Fugaki. Age 14

Federation of Justice(F.o.J): The F.o.J is a militia force that originated in India. Led by Akarsh Misra the F.o.J works tirelessly to put an end to the Oshiro clan and many other smaller crime syndicates that sprung to power in its shadow. While it’s never argued that they’re working for the good of the people some criticize the organization’s prioritizing of destroying threats first and foremost rather than assisting those affected.

Notable Members:

Akarsh Misra: Leader of the F.o.J
Chaand Gurung: Second in Command.
Edi Patel: Strike Force commander.
Kajri Kumar: Tech Specialist.
Chi Phan: Head doctor.
Lajja Raje: Diplomatic envoy.

Around MC’s age:
Boys:
Aadhira Suri: Apprentice to Edi Patel. Age 13
Madan Limbu: Apprentice to Chi Phan. Age 14

Girls:
Panya Sai: Apprentice to Lajja Raje. Age 13
Tallie Sai: Older sister to Panya. Apprentice to Kajri Kumar. Age 16

Author’s note: Hey! This is my first time using choicescript, as well as my first story of this size, so any advice or constructive criticism is appreciated. The story is going to be completely different depending which faction you choose, however there are going to be certain events that happen no matter what.

So here’s the link: This Path of Mine

And thank you in advance! Also, I plan to keep the public demo open for the entirety of the project. And an update is coming in early October!


#2

Huh, this is interesting. I’ll watch and see how this goes. I’m liking the demo so far.


#3

This was a pretty fun demo, and I enjoyed the world building!

Writing three different factions seems like a pretty big undertaking. I’m looking forward to the rest!


#4

Thank you for the feedback~

Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed the world building, I struggled with it for quite a while and I’m still hammering out some of the kinks. It’s certainly going to be a big project but I feel like it’s going to be worth it!


#5

I really like what you’ve written so far, can’t wait to see the next update :slight_smile:


#6

Other than an error just agrees the line “they’re gone, everyone’s gone” it was good so far.


#7

Great so far, I ran into an error, however:


#8

Thank you! That error was actually an intentional bug that I put in when testing the game but forgot to take out. Thank you for letting me know and for your feedback!

Thank you! I’m glad you liked it!

Thank you for letting me know and for your feedback!


#9

This is a fun story so far, please keep it going :slight_smile:


#10

I love what you have so far. The way you’ve wrote this makes it easy to connect with the MC and what they experience.
Can’t wait to see what comes next. Keep it up you’re doing great.


#11

I like what you have so far! The factions seem very interesting and the premise of living on a fishing ship away from a devastated world before being thrown into it also seems like it could create a lot of conflict.

I’m especially curious to see how the MC handles a place that’s so polar opposite from what they’ve known. I’m excited to see where this goes, good luck!


#12

This seems like an interesting start; hopefully you don’t get bogged down writing three separate faction paths.

Good luck! :grin:


#14

Thank you for letting me know! I mentioned in an earlier post that these were intentional bugs that I left in during testing and just forgot to take out. In the next update, which I should be putting out tonight or some time tomorrow morning that will just be a few bug fixes and some changes to the stats screen, will have this fixed.

@ParrotWatcher Thank you! And I’m just going to take this chance to say I love Totem Force (especially Ryu) and I’m looking forward to seeing your next update!

@RenaB Thank you! Ironically later in chapter 3, especially in the Oshiro path, the MC is going to be faced with their first real “culture shock” and the player is going to have some control over how the MC reacts, however the stats are going to determine whether or not the action they choose succeeds.

@TeemaDaSteemr I’m really glad you said this as a lot of my focus when writing this went into making sure the MC was relatable. Thank you for your kind words!

@Eiwynn Thank you! I hope you’ll continue to enjoy it!


#15

So far I’m loving it. And I actually liked the “family” and genuinely felt bad for them. :cry:
And trust me, thats very VERY rare. I have no idea why but I usually can’t stand/don’t care about MC’s default loved ones. :sweat_smile:
The three different branches (and so early in the game) will give some awesome replayability. As someone else said, I just hope you stay motivated to keep going because that will be a looot of writing and coding.
Can’t wait to see how my High-Empathy MC is going to survive with the criminals. It’s gonna be fun fun fun and it isn’t even Friday :joy:


#16

crashing after the first choice:


#17

Same here, crashing with the brother variable. She really should do a randomtest before he publishes a WIP :confused:


#18

Thank you for catching that! Just a few hours ago I updated some of my files with minor spelling fixes and simply forgot to upload the updated startup.txt. It should be working now though and I apologize for letting that happen.

@DontHurtMe For future reference I’m actually a woman. And like I stated above it wasn’t a problem with the coding on the files I had saved on my computer but rather the files I’d previously updated on dashingdon.com. Again, sorry for letting that happen but it should be fixed now. I just tested that version myself.


#19

Om… papa is coming back, yes? He’s just on a lengthy, lengthy, top secret diving mission, yes? {holds the string on my balloon tighter whilst I gaze with wide, hopeful eyes}

Quite digging the immersive tale you are crafting so vibrantly. Three paths is ambitious, which also makes me positively certifiable in my own aim to have four entirely different worlds. I wish you much :four_leaf_clover: and cannot wait for le dramangstfallout when my little sweet roll entangles themselves within the Oshiro clan.


#20

I keep getting this on my computer, kindle and phone each tie I try to get past the “their gone, everyone’s gone” part


#21

I think I’ve actually touched on this error previously? Post 13 and post 8 explain why it’s there. So it’s no problem with anything you’ve done it’s just a bug I left in during testing and haven’t taken out yet and quite honestly I know myself really well and, if I simply put a ‘finish’ to make the error stop, I would forget about during the next major update. So when I finish writing this major update that error will be gone! Thank you for letting me know though!

@ThoseCatsAintLoyal Thank you! One of my plans for this story is, rather than simply setting up for an older version of the MC, I want the reader to experience the events that shape the MC with them so that the reader can not only empathize but use their choices to shape the MC as well. And I’d just like to wish your high-empathy character luck because they’re certainly going to need it :laughing:

@Quaintrelle Poor summer child I’m sorry to inform you that, no. Papa is gone. However there is an idea I’m toying around with to have a member of the MC’s family come back, though nothing is set in stone. Like I said I really want this story to be character focused and driven, rather than just having someone plan out the grand scheme of things from a bird’s eyeview. I’d like to wish your MC luck as well because there are certain members who won’t take too kindly :smile: