I hope this is alright but I’ve started working on my first game using choicescript and I’d really like a place to keep myself accountable but also to share and get feedback on what I have.
My gamebook is called The Weird and The Strange. You are a private detective who specializes in the “Weird stuff” and depending on how you choose you are either searching for the con so you can expose and shame frauds or looking for the truth that must be out there.
For this story you are participating in a game show with four other paranormal specialists to solve seven strange mysteries which will range from haunted houses, to bigfoot sightings and possibly an alien landing spot. I’ve allowed for friendships, romance, and/or rivalry so how you play is more personal to the kinds of stories you like.
Anyway tell me what you think so far.
http://beta.harperkilborn.com/web/mygame/index.html
Thanks in advance and I’ll keep updating as I finish each chapter so hopefully I’ll finish with an honestly enjoyable game/story.
Interesting story so far, found a couple grammar errors I found on my first play through but otherwise it’s pretty solid work.
When you got downstairs it was already two late. The “two” should be “too”
Someone who specialises in the strange but isn’t a scientist or spiritualist. Should be “specializes”
SInce you’re on the ground floor that means it must be coming from the basement.
The ‘I’ in since is capitalized.
Overall I enjoyed it, it’s a very interesting concept and I look forward to seeing where you take this.
I REALLY like it. Just a suggestion one of the parts in the story that really interested me was that I had a brother who I was separated from. Can you have flashback in the story where I’ve just decided to become a detective or I’ve been a detective for a while and I decide to track down my brother?
@MaddiMastermind Thanks for that! I went through and made the changes. Writing in second person is so different but sort of fun too.
@Beezlebub Thank you, I’m glad you like it so far. As for your suggestion, I’ve been playing with something like that but I’m not sure how it’s going to work yet. The brother or the memory of him will play a part I think.
I can’t really say how I feel about this game right now, other than that I am interested in seeing more. There just isn’t enough here to really form a good opinion I think.
Awesome inform me of any new developments 
Looking pretty cool so far, though I can’t really form a solid opinion until seeing a bit more of what will take place.
Also, I take it that you’re a Hitchiker’s Guide fan. Arthur and Trilly Dent. >w> I couldn’t help but let out a giddy little sound of delight.
@ xPikachurin LOL yes I’m a huge fan of Hitchhiker’s Guide. I love finding little Easter eggs in games and movies so I thought I’d have a try myself.
Hopefully I’ll have the next chapter done and ready to show by then end of the week.
I really like the idea of the game! Just wondering, why is there no option to choose gender? Is the PC male? James says “If it isn’t the golden boy.”
THE DENTS!!! ARTHUR AND TRILLY!!! I JUST GOT IT!!!
“When you got downstairs it was already two late”
May be a minor grammatical error.
@heyyoungblood Ooh that’s a good point - I’ll have a chose gender bit at the beginning - Thanks for catching that!
@lackofmops LOL - two late… does that mean he’s late twice?? lol I’ll fix that
This is fun! Only problem I have is that it’s short 
@Wrathman I definitely like the inclusion of easter eggs and will remember to keep my eyes peeled. 
Oh, and after a quick re-read I noticed a typo “The(n) he was talking again but you were coughing too much to listen.”
Please let us know when you add more.
I figured there would errors but then again it’s a small demo so…,story is very good and definitely interesting. From the characters i believe Wendy might be my favorite as everybody else seems bit…meh. i can’t wait to see an update and hope this doesn’t go dark as it has loads of potential!
