The Outsider WIP (July 23, 2018 minor update) Important Poll on #441!

I felt as if pulling a Darth Vader would had been kinda cheap but if you guys feel that it would had been better then I’ll change it. But the prologue isn’t exactly done, it was more of a test run but yeah I don’t like how short it is either so I’ll be expanding on it soon. The legend is probably going to be removed later and some of you knows that I got plans for the rebel to be the right hand of Lord Kann so maybe I’ll make it that the rebel actually knows the legend and the reason why Lord Kann would raze the universe to look for the MC.

@rose-court that would actually be very helpful if you could do that.

Just noticed that the link to the game has gotten 245 clicks so far. Whoa, that was far more than I originally expected in the first place.

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Research villains and chosen one stories this will help in story telling and plot.

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Hey, I apologize for not responding to your post eariler! But to answer your question, I wouldn’t exactly call it an alien form but rather, a temporary boost like a Super Saiyan from the Dragon Ball series so really, going into that state might make the MC seem a bit more buff than normal. I haven’t worked out all of the details on it just yet but yes, doing so will make you look slightly different.

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I always recommend the ability to choose my character’s appearance in vivid detail, and for all characters to have a description of their own. I enjoy being able to picture the characters in the scene.


That will happen in Chapter One.


Okay, now after hearing some feedbacks from some of you guys in a PM, I changed some things about the prologue… Hopefully it is better than my original attempt. Although I’m still not happy about the new length, I’ll have to deal with it for now since it is 5:30 in the morning here.

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Alright, just re-read the demo.

Loved the description of the destroyed planet and how much more subtle the reveal of it not being Earth was.

Is it weird that I imagined our MC’s spaceship to look like EVE from Wall-E? Like, very crisp and white and round and just, the Apple aesthetic taken the extreme?

And I personally like how you’re going to save Lord Kann’s real introduction for later. Others could disagree but I rather like the disssonance of imagining a character and then being proven slightly wrong like, “Oh, wow I knew he’s be tall but not gigantic!”

idk, It might just be me.


You can imagine what the ship will look like in your mind! :slight_smile: I kept it somewhat vague so the readers can do that. I thought it would be interesting and fun to see what they’d come up with that.

So, good news! I’m nearly finished learning how to code! So, that means once I do finish up with it, I’ll be able to get around to working on Chapter One where you will be able to customize your MC and learn a little about yourself in the game as well. It’s hard to say when I’ll be able to bring the update but I’m hoping I’ll be able to do this week or next since I don’t want to rush through it. I made a promise to make this story a really good one and I intend to keep it no matter how long it’ll take me to finish this story. Thank you for the patience in advance and have a wonderful day!


Lol wrong WIP. oh geez :dizzy_face:


Lol it happens, don’t worry about it

I could’ve sworn I was on that thread while i was typing my earlier comment. lol

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Has anyone else gotten an infinite loading screen? I’m getting it right after Lord Kann introduces himself

im pretty sure its not written past that point

This is correct. That’s all for now. Although I did just start working on chapter one but I’m doing it at a slow pace at the moment as I’m finishing up learning to code

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Time for the big question: can we be evil?

Wouldn’t exactly fit in with the plot I have in mind although you can choose to kill enemies if you desire. Either quickly or in a brutal way but nope, no evil path.

Since you’re writing your first chapter, how long do you intend to make your chapters?

Will they be excruciatingly lengthy like XoR? or incredibly short like Reckless Space Pirates? or somewhere in the middle like Hero Unmasked or Tally Ho?

It should give some sense into your progress whenever you intend to update us with something saying “x” chapters written

I’m hoping somewhere in the middle as I feel as if it might be the best route to take writing this.

It’s a good premise, especially with the DBZ inspiration to spice up the superhero genre. Best of luck on this!

But I do have some questions: Do we ever get a sidekick/allied superperson aside from the ones in the team? Can we choose to have a gloryhound persona? Does our super transformation get cooler hair?