I’m tagging @RedRoses so they can correct me if I’m wrong, but if I understood correctly I think this illustrates part (or perhaps a different angle) of their point.
Compare this:
to this:
The green and blue have comparison descriptors - they’re green like the forest or blue like the sea, but they’re still, respectively, just green and blue and that’s enough for them to be, but you felt the need to, in one of your brown-eyes descriptors, throw another colour into mix, to, shall we say, “jazz them up” or whatever the kids are calling it these days.
The thing I’m struggling with is finding something romantic to compare them to, so I’m trying to come at it from another angle. When I think of nice brown colors I think of wood, which many wouldn’t consider romantic, soil, only a thing gardeners would appreciate, and chocolate, which has widely been said to be a poor comparison and food comparisons looked down upon in general when talking about people (skin color particularly).
These are all lovely but again add another color or food comparisons, so if that’s not allowed/appreciated I’m still at a loss.
While I think this is a nice idea, I’d really rather limit the eye color so it’s not this massive 8-option choice. Tian’s are recognized for their eye color which comes down through their Fae blood. While orange or other gemstone colors are perfectly valid suggestions (and I appreciate you sharing the idea!), as soon as I start adding more options people are going to want ruby-red eyes, which is honestly a bit freaky to me, or topaz gold, and then I’m writing 8+ descriptions for different eye colors when I’d really rather be getting on with the plot.
then maybe if you want to romanticise it like starlight, morning dew, sunset, or deeper than the ocean, angelic, bright jewels twinkling in the light…
not sure if that helps lol
Here’s the poem I mentioned above, by Alves Coelho, in case it helps with inspiration:
Teus olhos castanhos
de encantos tamanhos
são pecados meus,
são estrelas fulgentes,
brilhantes, luzentes,
caídas dos céus,
Teus olhos risonhos
são mundos, são sonhos,
são a minha cruz,
teus olhos castanhos
de encantos tamanhos
são raios de luz.
Olhos azuis são ciúme
e nada valem para mim,
Olhos negros são queixume
de uma tristeza sem fim,
olhos verdes são traição
são crueis como punhais,
olhos bons com coração
os teus, castanhos leais.
I’d say most of the stories in Grimm end happily. The gruesome bits omitted by Disney tend to be either retributions visited upon the antagonists, or effectively undone in the end. Even a story as utterly horrific as “The Juniper Tree” (“My mother she killed me, my father he ate me”) ends with the wicked stepmother dead and the murdered child restored to life and returned to his loving father and sister.
It’s a little more complicated than that. “Sky blue” and “forest green” aren’t just poetic ways of saying blue and green, they refer to specific shades.
I think “mahogany” works here, since it carries connotations of luxury and quality, as well as the inherent warmth of the color itself. I’m not suggesting you add mahogany as an option for the PC; I think it’s clear in context that the PC’s eyes are vividly colored in a way that falls somewhat outside the realm of normal human variety, and that that’s relevant to who this character is. But it might help if you’re trying to make sure dark-eyed ROs are described as alluringly as the rest. On the whole, though, I tend to agree with you that this isn’t worth dwelling on that much when you could be getting on with the story itself.
if you need music to think of more beautiful scenes between Collin, Dorian and MC (or any other love interest xD), here you go:
I love classic music, it makes my heart melt <3
I appreciate your listening and consideration–I can’t speak for everyone here but in my experience issues with food comparisons are more to do with skintone and not eye color. I kinda feel like it’s getting overthought in the chat now
Personally, I think honeyed eyes, golden brown, caramel-chocolate, amber infused whatever the heck is fine. My disappointment with the RO descriptions stemmed from having the brown-eyed options be described so simply versus the others having more poetic word choices put into it. I’ve tried to write down all the brown-eyed options I’ve seen (that haven’t been described already earlier) for you if it helps with more inspiration:
Descriptions
“Cold coffee eyes”–shoutout to Paul Simon!
Earth colored/Mahogany/Cedar–Nature descriptions that can match things like forest brown and sky blue when trying to be poetic
Walnut/pecan-colored (never use almond since that can remind people of negative connotations haha)
Brandy/whiskey/champagne–I always liked these descriptors since it comes with the implication that the person’s eyes are intoxicating
Fawn/Gingerbread/Mocha/Umber–sometimes just using shades of brown can be nice. Sometimes I like to go to the lipstick aisle at the shop and see what they use because sometimes they’re good words!
I know it’s definitely the least important thing here, but I hope you’re open to considering adding some sort of “bright” option for darker eyes. I definitely agree and understand not taking requests for pink or red or silver or gold or magenta and violet and I’m running out of colors–but having just one option that can be more easily associated with darker eyes could help with making readers feel more included in the story.
All that said, I do apologize for focusing solely on that–when I try to post on the forum while working I get distracted and too blunt and forget to bring up certain things, which is not fair to you nor was it encouraging. This demo is shaping up to be my favorite story you’ve written so far, and it’s exciting to see how much your talent and prose has evolved over each of your works. I really liked Collin and I’m excited to see more of the other romances as well <3 The political intrigue has me very
As do I. Thank you for the music! I’ve been listening to the Fantasy Fairytale Ball one. I also quite enjoyed the video of Snow White and Rose Red you shared. What a lovely story!
This is very helpful. Thank you.
For you, and anyone else who might like the option…
You’ll also note sharp-eyed Marienna now has deep brown eyes in her description, and Sevitas has whiskey-brown. Which is also a shade of amber, really.
I’m so glad you’re enjoying it. Thank you very much for saying so and for your thoughtful feedback.
I’m so happy you enjoyed the music (especially the fairytale ball, it’s so beautiful and it suits the story so greatly) and the story about Snow-White and Rose-Red, you are always welcome you are one of my favourite ones on here. You always find the best for and in people, you are very alike to Gemma Sweet yourself :3 (I need to stop with the praises now hahaha xD)
If you want another interesting color description you could use ebony wood. When fresly cut it’s slightly pinkish/peanut butter colored and due to oxidation it colors a deep dark brown/nearly black. Fascinating to witness!
That is so sweet. Thank you!!! I do try to find the best in people whenever possible. I think the world could use more kindness, so I do what I can to contribute.
I had no idea! What a neat process. Nature is amazing.
I’m so glad to hear you loved the demo! Thank you for purchasing my other games and supporting me as a writer. I hope you enjoy Their Majesties’ Pleasure and Ink and Intrigue!
I’ve just finished drafting chapter three of The Eternal Library and am diving right into chapter four! This is when it really gets good.
I don’t plan to update the public demo for a while yet, as I’d like to have a larger update available so more of the story is apparent, but it’s fun to be getting to this part and I wanted to share my excitement!
Not “better” than these, per se, but certainly more dramatic. The story really gets going once the MC ventures to the Eternal Library, which is at the start of chapter four.
Progress Report:
I had a lot of fun writing POV scenes for Angelina and Gemma this week, which I’m including in the game along with some others. These provide a better idea of who these characters are, and add a lot of depth to the story. I’ve also added a chance to initiate a romance with Angelina and Gemma in chapter one.
Patreon subscribers just got an early access demo update which includes the full first three chapters and some additional POV scenes. I’m planning on doing a public update at the end of the month. The WIP is currently over 65,000 words.
It took some time to figure out how best to integrate different characters’ POVs into the game. Basically, it came down to only including some of the POV scenes I will write for Patreon members. Select POV scenes that add depth to the story and don’t distract too much from the MC’s path or slow down the plot momentum make the cut. All the rest will be bonus material to help me get into the characters’ heads and for the enjoyment of subscribers who like that sort of thing.
I’m glad to have my approach to the POV scenes sorted, as it was the missing piece in my story for a while.
I’ve been getting some good writing done and have started into chapter four. A LOT happens in that chapter. The story really takes a turn and the MC is put in a position of much more power than they had before, and, little by little, gets to decide what to do with it.
That’s fine for Gemma, but that’s the very first time you meet or speak to Angelina. How much are you going to lean into the love at first sight trope?
Thank you for your support! I hope you enjoy the update and bonus content!
In this case, I’m offering it. I’ve expanded the initial conversation with Angelina, and with all the talk of destiny in the beginning of the game I think it will work. You certainly don’t have to choose it, but you can. It also doesn’t have to be love at first sight, so much as interest of a romantic kind.
I wish I had good news for you on this front. Alas, I do not. Very kind of you to care for Dawson, though. He appreciates your compassion.
I hope you enjoy the update and bonus content! 
