Alright, playing for real now:
- I like how quickly the story gets set up. It’s immediate, it feels like we jump right into it!
- I don’t think the asexual flag is as clear as it should be. “I’m single, same as I’ve always been” felt like I was bemoaning being single which is why I chose it, but then I realized quickly that it was meant to set the romance flag as false. This was the same for me with the two decisions on supportive parents. I would like to see more clarity in some of these choices.
- I’m not entirely sure if we’re meant to be friends with Summer or not–the below choices all felt a bit mean spirited to me in their descriptions:
- With that said, I love Summer. She’s ridiculous. You did a great job of writing her. I will miss her dearly
- Kendall also rocks! You do an excellent job of writing characters, major or minor, as having strong and definable personalities. It makes them all very memorable.
- It’s a small little thing, but I love the description with the stage name vs alias. It’s just funny <3
Unlike you, Sutton didn’t falter
- Was the above line meant only for child stars? I got it on movie buff.
- A bit of a writing error–you describe Sutton as apprehensive and staring us down, but if you say that they were telling the truth, they turn to look at us approach.
- Believe it or not, this demo is not the first time a guy named Caleb caused me trouble involving a party.
- The option to encourage Kendall to stay with Mason feels a bit sudden–we’re told repeatedly that the MC dislikes him and I’m not sure why they’d encourage it if they don’t like the guy.
- Lex is the worst. I long to kiss him under harsh stage lights.
All in all, I really liked this! I’m excited to see potential updates and I wish you luck <3