Shengzhang: Journey of the Immortal [WIP] [Chapter 2 Part 1: Febuary 16th, 2023!] [63k Words]

I think point of view changes to other characters would be interesting, especially since you can choose ‘striking’ main character in the customisation.

1 Like

That’s a very quick reply, thank you. If you ever decide to implant them in the story, you have my graditude. This has crazy potential so I’ll be rooting for you!

2 Likes

you might be able to just put the word 仙人 (xianren), which means immortals and does not specify either females or males!!

2 Likes

Minor issue:

Name: Yüan Wen
Title Name: Yǔmáo Jiǎo (Feather foot)

I think it would be better to change Yǔmáo Jiǎo into Yuzu 羽足, just sounds better and more “antique”

1 Like

Huge congratulations on the release of your demo, phenrex! Honestly it’s been so interesting for me to hear about your thoughts throughout the creation of your work.
The story concept is mwuah chefs kiss, the characters too. And with the way you write language wise, it’s hard to tell it’s your first time.

Kudos!:sparkles::sparkles:

2 Likes

hello hello!! i saw your comments and am very glad to see you here too :)) i didn’t see the term 仙灵 earlier but i suppose that would work too!!

1 Like

Really liked the story so far. I can see the story being very good and it is very captivating.


Found this when we see Min before we choose a gender for them.

I actually like the idea for the romance mechanic you went for. It’s different and I definitely feel like it’ll make the relationship building among characters more interesting. Don’t get me wrong I love the flirt options other stories Carry. But something about our personalities, appearances and actions actually playing a big part in how the potential love interest feels about or sees us, gives me a small sense of challenge and realism.

7 Likes

Bug : When I clicked no alias it later comes up as ??? and the option to reveal real name is blanked

2 Likes

Response to @Fenrir1 :
Fixed for next release, and will be updating this along with the stats while working on the next chapter. Update with this fix along with others should be out in the next day or two. Thanks for letting me know!

Response to @Shenice_L :
Thank you! I am excited to seriously get opportunities to implement it, not very many yet, but there will be! Mostly, I just feel it’ll be more fitting for me as a writer. I think if traditional flirt mechanics were in the game, the ROs would be in awkward places, since their reactions would generally not be that conducive to romance (though Wen would be eager to get in the Immortals ku if you catch my meaning).j

Response to @Lonily :
I double checked the code and see no immediate issue, I am going to need a screenshot to address this concern. Please feel free to update with a snapshot or two showing what the problem is, and I will address it in the updating patch!

Response to @ElliWoelfin :
Eye color is in the next chapter, it just didn’t feel fitting to put anywhere so instead I just decided to move that towards the next chapter. Hiding it is until it the Immortal’s eye colour is decided is part of the upcoming stat update. I forgot to set a flag in regard to not having an alias, the alias bug should be fixed with the upcoming stats update! :blush:
I hope you had fun with the story, even with the pesky bug!

Response to @Otaku_Mode :
Thank you for the affirmation! I am glad you enjoyed it!

Response to @Bluebunbu :
Dratz, that might be because I accidentally uploaded a few files to the public game when I was testing something. I am going to update the game soon, but if you can get a screenshot of the bug it would help me see where it is! (The choice you selected too). I looked and I am having issues trying to replicate this bug, I am not sure how you are getting it…

5 Likes

I believe there’s a bug with an alias. As a Shen (sorry for the lack of accent, can’t do it with what I’m on), if it matters, I tried to decline having one but the game went ahead as though I chose one (for the entire rest of the playing, including right after the choice), so it just showed up as ??? the one time it came up. Also never got to pick eye color I don’t believe, but I don’t know if I should’ve been so I can’t say for sure if that’s a bug.

@Phenrex Yeah I enjoyed it quite a lot :D, sorry if it didn’t come through; I’m horrible at expressing emotion through text and was too focused on informing to remember to say anything about my impressions. It’s very enjoyable and as I guessed when I saw you talking about it, I think I really like the way you’re handling interpersonal relationships :slight_smile:

2 Likes

I love it!

1 Like

Progress Update: Stat Update is progressing very well! However, in the process of me writing out the character bios, I decided to go back and find the traditional names for the ROs and realized that the name ‘Daiyu’ is feminine and means ‘black jade’ which I don’t find particularly fitting of the character even if it seemed fine originally. After some thought, I want to change Daiyu’s name to something more appropriate for the character.

I’m currently considering 2 different options:

家豪 - Jiāháo - home & bravery

貞 - Zhēn - loyal or faithful

I don’t know how long the poll will be open for, but probably until I am ready otherwise for the update and am doing last minute adjustments. Let the people decide for me!

  • Jiāháo
  • Zhēn

0 voters

7 Likes

Hey there i love the premise of this game already its so packed with detail amd intrigue already!!

Unfortunately i think i may have come across a bug of some sort?? When first locking eyes with the fox performer on stage no matter which option i pick it keeps coming up with this error: Chapter _1 line 1223 non existent variable ‘Chapter1_teashop’ ?? I have reset my play through but that didn’t fix anything I love this game and really want to read more!!

2 Likes

UPDATE: Stats Screen Overhaul Pt. 1 - January 9th, 2023

The Following has been addressed:

  • The Stats Screen and Stats have been completely overhauled to be much more functional.
  • Min will no longer decide their gender for themself before the player.
  • Aliases and True Names have been flagged and should display properly.
  • The names offered to the player have been swapped to pīnyīn to fit the conventions established by the rest of the game.
  • The ROs now also have their names in pīnyīn.
  • More detailed stats can be viewed using the in-game menus.
  • Daiyu’s name has been changed to the following: " 貞 - Zhēn - loyal or faithful " following the poll
  • Even more!! - A new chapter is underway, but this update is for the future!

Feedback encouraged and supported, let me know if you find any issues with the update! :blush:

Note: As a result of this update, when there is a content update, I recommend restarting as there are a ton of variables that won’t set properly if you use older saves (hence my warning in the opening screen at release)!

28 Likes

I chose alias, but in the stats says: Liángyuè is an immortal who denied using an alias in service of staying true to himself

1 Like

Does the demo end here? Or this wasn’t meant to happen?

I can’t get past this page no matter the choice

Important - [Potential Cache Bug]

If you are running into the bug at line 1223: Please clear your browser cache, I believe the bug is due to the frequent updates and the browser cache loading an older version of the game where a variable got renamed. Let me know if you clear your cache and still have issues. Note that clearing the cache is a good idea for a game whenever there is a significant update, particularly for this one. Clear your web browser’s cache, cookies, and history (iu.edu)

Upon testing: Clearing your Cache on its own does not, in fact, brick saves. Feel free to do so if you have any issues and let me know if there is still a problem afterwards.


Response to @Cingulum_diaboli :
Cingulum’s bug should be fixed now! Forgetting flags is always unfortunate.

Response to @Agatha_Cristine_Joly :
Someone else reported this bug but I was uncertain which choice was having the issue, I am going to investigate this now and will let you know when/if I find the issue. Can I double check that this is a new save?

Response to @lokis_hairgel :
Thank you :blush: I’m sorry to tell you that you can only pick kitty claws or puppy ears for a playthrough. I promise though it is for your own good. I dread to think of a world where I let the reader have eyes that glow, a feathered back, fluffy ears and cheeks and kitty claws. You’d scarcely look like an elf at that point!! Also, words out on if you keep the elf ears if you have lupine ones. :smiling_imp:

11 Likes

Um, how the HECK has this incredible piece of work been posted for longer than 24 hours and gone unnoticed by me???

First of all, I just want to say… holy feck brother, I am FED. Your character creation and the dedication you have by allowing us to pluck and create such detailed characters with features that actually change the story is just… UGH! I can’t. Take me home right now. Like, I cannot believe how much work you’ve put into the RO’s too by giving them preferences that flavour the story, and we can have claws and puppy ears and LOOK LIKE AN ELF— IS THIS CHOICESCRIPT HEAVEN?!

Damn sis, I would write more but I’m diving back in to play again as a stoic sad boi so I have to skeedaddle, but once again know that I am crying, screaming, deteriorating, evaporating and LIVING for this piece. Good luck with your development, I’ll be cheering for you.

11 Likes