Sex & Gender - How would you talk about it in-game?

I’m in the process of developing a game with a couple of other people and would like to know how to talk about sex (organs) and gender appropriately. I identify as a pansexual woman, so I’ve never become very accustomed to talking about gender identity.

In-game, right now it’s expressed as: “What is your sex?” (this is for baby-making purposes) and then it’s followed by “What gender do you identify with?”
Is this acceptable? Should I write it a different way? I need to know the player’s sexual organs…for lack of a better term…in order to know who gets pregnant if they try to have a baby. But I also want to add gender identity (as well as sexual orientation) to give the option of identifying other than what sex the player was born as.


From what I’ve gathered from similar discussions, non-binary and trans players prefer not getting questions about their genitals. For baby-making purposes, just give an option to conceive naturally, adopt, or get a sperm donor/surrogate.


i second trever’s answer, being a trans guy, i’ve always found it a little disconcerting to be directly asked about my genitals, in any context really
however i’ve played a couple of games that really nailed it, Greenwarden and Regrets of the Traitor i feel do this extremely well :slight_smile:


Why not ask directly which person gets pregnant, if that’s the only thing it’s used for?

Another way I have been toying with, is to be completely blunt about it, with no coyness or innuendo, and absolutely no relating any genitals to a specific sex or gender. Just the option to toggle penis, vagina and breasts on or off, with no limitations, and the option to have the game use vague language instead. Just being all clinical about it, with no judgement and no “I was born a man, even if my parents didn’t think so at first” or “some people might consider my body male, but I’m female”.

Personally, I find that directness much less dysphoria-inducing, but other people will probably have different preferences.


While this makes complete sense, I’m not entirely sure how to rewrite the pregnancy system that’s in place. The text is written as if you or your partner gets pregnant…there’s birth control options too. I’m not sure how to write it if I don’t know the sex of the player.

That might be a good way to write it. To just ask which person gets pregnant and which person needs birth control options…thanks!

I think a rewrite might be worth it. Forcing at least one person in the relationship to be pregnant could already cause issues with gay men playing the game.


No one is forced to get pregnant, but if the player engages in unprotected sexual activity with someone of the opposite sex, pregnancy is possible

When the Sims 4 updated their gender options, the way they framed that question was whether the character

a Could get pregnant
b Could get others pregnant
c Neither

I personally like that.


Ah, gotcha. In that case, then yeah, asking if one of the people can get pregnant is the best course of action imo.

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I am a cis girl person and If the game directly asks sex and force pregnancy or birth control I will never pass that choice. I found it terribly wrong and offensive. Just suppose having a vagina means I want to have babies or have to be on birth control. How can be that necessary in a game? Except the game is about Fetish the pregnancy and is organ by organ detailed it has no sense. Except if you want to trigger half of your target audience

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I’m sorry the question triggered you.

No problem but you have to be very very clear in the highlights of your game that will be a choice. Because it is something that will trigger a great part of your audience.


I will. Thank you. Due to the awesome suggestion of the others, I will phrase the question to be about pregnancy instead. I will also put a disclaimer that the game talks about birth control.