Yes, but in the current demo they still out the mc’s biological family name to hundreds of students, best believe my mc will be in administration to complain about that and hopefully set the record straight first thing! 
I really enjoyed reading your WIP 
it’s so fun and I love love loooove our little pygmy dragon Attis 
LOL Jon could be a tsundere or a kuudere, I tend to say he is more the kuudere type, cold and not caring but he is deep deep deeeeep down a very nice person…I hope 
Oh but it’ll create tension at least! A will you/will you not kind of situation hahahaha.
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@Queen_Zelda
Thanks for the feedback! I’m glad you find it fun even at its current state. And its nice to know someone also shares my absolute adoration for Attis hahahaha. The things I’d do for a fictitious dragon is insane. I even stared at her for a whole minute after I drew her. Made me wonder what other cutesy dragons I can make, aside from the brutish looking ones we’ll be bound to see more of later on.
Jon is a lot of things and those two might just be one of them. I hope I didn’t make him too unbearable, since he’s literally one of the first characters you meet in the story. In the newest update, I tried tweaking some of his dialogue a bit, and removed certain lore to keep some mystery going. Thanks again! Hope you check out the update to at least surf through the pages of the stats window for more information ;))
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You draw them yourself? 
they look amazing, especially Attis, she’s so gorgeous 
No, I think he’s alright. he is a stranger to us and we are a stranger to him. So it’s normal he is cautious and mostly neutral to cold towards us.
Mhm :)) I’m hellbent on drawing everything from the dragons, the map, and the characters as well. It’s a form of practice too for me, and it’s always been a dream of mine to draw this story in some way. And yes, Attis is the best, there’s no contesting that HAHAHAH.
Thanks. That placated me a bit :') Aside from making him overbearing, I also didn’t want him to go full edgelord. If we grew up believing certain things at a young age, it’s difficult to break out of that belief especially when it’s something inherently personal tied to your entire family. That’s the approach I was making with Jon, hence his stigma against you.
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Jon’s family or the mc’s biological one? Again my mc wants absolutely nothing to do with the latter and has said that to Jon in no uncertain terms.
On second reading this line irks me quite a bit, considering the canonical background of the mc:
" He leaves you in the company of capable adults and beelines to the crowd up ahead. It looks like theres a hundred of them. A hundred of people your age. "
This line seems to be written for a minor, but from what I can gather the mc is at least twenty (moving around for two years, which you can only freely do as an adult released from the foster system/group homes themselves and was holding down a job and an apartment before being recruited.
People tend to grow up fast in the system and my mc would certainly consider himself a capable adult. His new and likely overwhelmingly more privileged peers might sneer at his meagre adult achievements, a minimum wage job, an apartement that is likely a dump and one good pair of shoes, but it is not nothing either and with the homeless epidemic currently in US cities there are still a lot of people from all sorts of backgrounds who are doing quite a bit worse.
Did you first envision the mc as younger than they presently are when you started writing this, like 15 or 16 or so, because there is some stuff like that line above and apparently them not registering the mc by their own, presumably legal, last name that would be more appropriate to a character who is still considered a minor than an adult?
Or does draconian society have an age of legal majority that is out of step with the 18 of most of the modern world, like say 21 or even 25? Even if the latter is true that would not diminish the fact that my mc would still see himself as an adult because he is one in the society he grew up in and he would not have internalised any Draconian cultural values to the opposite.
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This refers more to Jon’s family, more particularly the Valks since the MC has no idea about the weight and history behind their biological family’s name. Since Jon already knows that you’re a Kriegan, he’s basing his opinions on that, opinions that are inherently negative for reasons I won’t be divulging for the sake of story. But as Jon says, “They’re assholes.” Then again, that is up for you to decide!
By ‘moving around’ for two years, the MC has been shuffling from foster home to foster home since accommodation for older foster kids are sadly limited from what I understand. So right now, the MC is around 18. And from what I’ve read, most foster kids that grew out of the system do manage to get jobs, albeit low paying ones. As for how they got an apartment despite their age and low-wages, that is something that hasn’t yet been revealed ;)) But feel free to speculate!
I completely agree! Managing to even have a home AND a job? In THIS economy? That’s better off than a lot of people, unfortunately. I don’t personally live in the US, but the situation where I live isn’t any better.
The reason why they used Kriegan as oppose to your legal last name is because they defer to the draconian house. In the MC’s case, they had an ancestor who was a Kriegan but left Ecadius and abandoned draconian society.
Houses are a very, and I mean VERY important aspect of draconian society, so much so that entire families have a dynastic hold on certain political positions. The oldest houses are revered, especially the families that first settled on Ecadius as jarls, some of whom are still functioning as high ranking officials in the Coalition to this day.
Previously, draconian society considered an individual as an adult once they’ve successfully bonded with a dragon. This is their rite of passage to adulthood. But then there were rare cases where someone as young as 8 would bond prematurely with a dragon. You can’t very well call an 8 year old an adult, now could you? So right now, in the case of Ecadius since it lies within Iceland’s marine territory, they follow the country’s age of majority which is 18. Of course, this varies differently between draconian society depending on their host countries.
Thanks for the feedback! And if you have more questions, keep’em going. This way I can find weaknesses in the story that I can fix to the best of my ability :DD
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Right now my mc is already beginning to regret coming there too, so that might be the one good decision that ancestor of his actually made in their entire life.
They’re not proving him wrong so far, mc’s biological parents certainly seem to qualify as scum. Which still makes my mc want to have absolutely nothing to do with their family and surname.
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Sorry for the late reply. Thought I already replied, but apparently it’s been sitting on my draft since I must’ve forgotten to actually send it.
Who knows what life would have been for the MC if their ancestor hadn’t left, though? What if the MC grew up on Ecadius instead of being abandoned? An interesting speculation that would be a nice narrative :0 But that’s a story for a different time.
Love the conviction you have against the MC’s biological family HAHAHA. Gives me more perspective on what kind of choices I should include. And honestly, with the current information that we’ve been given, it’s understandable why your MC would be repulsed at the idea of being associated with House Kriegan. Even after leaving you for dead, they’re still making problems for you.
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It’s interesting thus far, and has my curiosity. I wonder how it will unfold.
This is a pretty interesting concept here. I do think that the prologue should go longer without meeting Carina, to first set the circumstances, feelings and attitude of the MC towards the world, mostly to sympathy with their situation. This is a pretty early demo tho, so don’t worry too much about what I’m saying.
Btw, stellar art op! Only 2 dragons in and I’m already enamored by those critters
Hopefully once my schedule clears up, I’ll be able to dedicate more time on the prologue and chapter 1 so you guys can explore the story more! Though right now, I’m sprucing up the stats page and involving more information and world building stuff. Thanks for the feedback!
I was thinking of exploring the MC’s circumstances and past throughout the story, to make it ‘fresher’ instead of something we only read in the first few parts of the prologue. But I’ll take your feedback into consideration! :DD
Thanks :')) These dang dragons have me on a chokehold. I’ve drawn a mix of stuff. The dragons and some of the fauna found on the island. In fact, I might as well tease a couple of the art I’m working on.
^ This was supposed to be one of the rideable dragons, the Crested Ridgeback. But as you can see, it doesn’t have much of a ‘ridged’ back. It didn’t turn out as jagged and brutish as I’d liked, so I’m thinking of maybe turning it into some sort of sub species instead. The small person on the corner represents a height of 6ft. So this dragon roughly equates to a height of 18 ft.
^ This hefty beast is an Ursirex, an apex predator and of the few animals on the island that is a legitimate menace to dragons. They can reach similar heights as the aforementioned dragon
^Now this is a rough sketch of Ecadius’s equivalent of the hippo or rhino. Absolute units. That’s all I can say but I will be writing detailed descriptions later on.
Anyways, yeah HAHAHAH. These are few of the things I’ve drawn so far. And hopefully, I’ll be able to show all that I’ve done in the future!
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Why can’t we ride a hipporhino instead? They look so cute.
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Oh if only we could HAHAHA. Could you imagine riding a behemoth of a mammal into battle? Makes you think what the ancient romans first thought of war elephants when they fought against them during the Punic wars. I would personally just want the entirety of the earth to swallow me then and there. And yes, they are cute in their infant stages. I was going for Fiona the pygmy hippo kind of cute, but obviously my artistic capabilities don’t quite capture how absolutely adorable Fiona is. Highly suggest watching YT videos about her–not that I’ve done that at an unhealthy amount.
Though on a serious note, Damascenians [I think I’m spelling it right] are dangerous animals. There’s a reason why we don’t ride hippo and rhinos in the first place, considering the fact that hippos kill more people than sharks. Their territorial tendencies make Jaws look like a butter-fingered robber. Anyways, dragons are pretty alright in comparison. I hope? :')
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This will be very exciting to follow. Though regarding the pictures, will there be an option to disable them? Sometimes games with artwork tend to take people out of the story. Choice of Vikings did a great thing by adding options to disable things like art and translations.
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