Ratings War -- BETA TESTERS NEEDED

General
1

Ratings War, by Eddy Webb, is a cyberpunk twist on the intrepid journalist tale; beta testers are needed.

Email me, jason AT choiceofgames for access. Please include your forumname. I would also prefer if you included your real name, but you don’t have to.

I will send you a link, a username, and a password.

Return feedback TO ME. Preferably part of the same thread, rather than a new email.

I’m looking for “high level” and “low level” feedback. Not mid-level feedback.

Low-level = typos and continuity errors. A continuity error is when a character’s gender flips, or someone comes back from the dead, or you run into a plotline that just doesn’t make sense (because it’s probably a coding error).

For these low-level issues, SCREENSHOTS are VERY HELPFUL. If you see a problem, take a screenshot, or copy and paste the text that is in error, and email that. Also, the “BUG” button is great; but if you use BUG, make sure to say in your email who you are, so I can give you credit for the report.

“High level” feedback has to do with things like plot, pacing, and characters. “Scene A didn’t work for me because x, y, and z,” is useful feedback. “B character was entirely unsympathetic, because u, w, and v,” is also useful feedback.

“I had a great time and saw only a few spelling errors,” is not useful feedback. In fact, it’s the sort of thing that results in you not being given access to future betas.

Mid-level feedback, which I don’t want, is about grammar. The sort of thing that, if the author made the error in the first place, is unlikely to be able to fix themselves.

2

Some bugfixes posted.

…

3

New draft up.

CHANGELOG

TEXT CHANGES

  • Various typos corrected.
  • A number of options tweaked to be clearer.
  • Added and removed paragraph breaks in sections with dynamic text for better text flow.
  • Added page breaks to long sections of text.
  • Replaced “eyeOS” with “opticOS” throughout. (Also removed two accidental references to “iOS.”)

MECHANICS CHANGES

  • Particularly hard endings made easier to acquire.
  • Increase skill increases in the first third of the game to make some tests easier and to show more progress.
  • Changed Success variables to titles, to give context to progress.
  • Fixed a couple of instances where checks were passing multiple times, bringing up multiple chunks of success text.

NEW MATERIAL (POTENTIAL SPOILERS)

  • Added choices at the very start to let the player decide what kind of reporter they are.
  • Changed the nature of Angel and the player’s relationship — he’s a family man that can’t afford to run around all night with the character. Text involving his future also updated accordingly.
  • Increased Maria’s presence in the attack.
  • Added a new choice where the player can address Tracey’s use of the term “boss.”
  • Clarified why Tracey and Early hate each other.
  • Tweaked meeting with Andrej so the player isn’t surprised by low-class surroundings.
  • Added a line to clarify that Cooper doesn’t mind being recorded when discussing the photo he took.
  • Clarified that the Lame Duck is a place where cops go to get bribed, give tips, and the like, putting into context why the violence in the bar doesn’t get reported.
  • Gave some information about the murderer in the first case.
  • Added a roleplay choice during the stakeout.
  • Added material to reflect that the number of attacks on the player during the course of the story is unusual.
  • Inserted a choice to let the player define their apartment.
  • Clarified that synthetic organs and implants (such as the player’s eyes) are actually very rare, and more dangerous than organ donations.
  • Added material in Jaden’s speech to reflect the choice of the player naming Jaden publicly in a story.
  • Added an option to flirt with Early, if your relationship score with him is high enough.
  • Maris’ story revised to make her separation from Jaden more explicit beyond just marriage.
  • Deleted paragraph that implied the whole case was all a railroad.
1 Like
4

New draft up. I’m no longer accepting new testers, but if you’re already a tester, feel free to give it another whirl.

OVERALL CHANGES

  • More typos ruthlessly crushed.
  • More pronoun errors fixed.
  • More paragraph breaks added.
  • Awkward phrasings revised.
  • Character’s full name added on the stats screen.
  • “Netglass” changed to more consistently confirm to the usual linguistic structure for “glasses."
  • Added lines on stats screen to give Market Share, Celebrity, and Infractions numbers and titles.
  • Added more dynamic responses for the player character and Tracey, based on stats.

CONTENT CHANGES (potential spoilers)

  • Tweaked the reactions of the police officer at the first crime scene.
  • Tweaked the discussion with Angel about overtime.
  • Revised Maria’s dialogue so she doesn’t openly talk about the Kings.
  • Revised the Kings’ relationship with the police — they no longer bribe them. Also, the camera and footage is damaged in the attack, making it hard to identify Tasha if the story is filed.
  • Added a choice to decide how the player character feels about Angel’s death/betrayal.
  • Cut down the IT scene with Tracey.
  • Clarified who was speaking during a cab ride with the player character, Tracey, and Benny.
  • Replaced references to credit cards with implanted chips.
  • Clarified the “boss/assistant” dynamic between the player character and Tracey.
  • Transition to Coffee Coffee is shorter.
  • Changed the short flashback in Maris’ office to improve flow.
  • Reduced Maris’ advice to the player character.
  • Revised scene where you’re not actually in your car when the guards kidnap you.
  • Added a choice on how you spill the beans to Katrina.
  • Added a chance to kiss Tracey when s/he hugs you.
  • Clarified that Minervudottir was a former employee of Jaden Sloane’s company when they did initial research into technological implants.
  • Player character now questions why Maris thinks Jaden killed his wife. (She doesn’t answer.)
  • Clarified that Maris hired you and Early because of your investigations into the Kings/Sloanes.
  • Added a flag so that flirting with Early changes the ending.
  • Fixed an error where rejecting Tracey’s advances still gave you a romantic ending, and vice versa.
  • Endings heavily revised and expanded, and take into account more of the player’s decisions in the story.
  • Completely new epilogue added.
3 Likes
5

New draft up.

Spoilers in Change Log below.

Not looking for new testers, but old testers are welcome to give any further thoughts.

OVERALL CHANGES

  • More typos sent to bed without supper.
  • Awkward sentences rewritten.
  • Added more titles to Market Share and Celebrity and tweaked numbers so they change every 20 points (up to 100).
  • Revised *choices to be in first person.
  • All ellipses and fake emdashes replaced with Unicode characters.
  • Standardized the possessive of “Maris” to be “Maris’,” not “Maris’s."
  • Standardized use of forenames and last names, such as “Schenck” to “Maris” and “Felix” to “Sloane” (except when needed for clarity).

CONTINUITY REVISIONS

  • Ch.1: Clarified that the Kings are mocking you when they’re saying there’s nothing to be afraid of.
  • Ch.1: Revised the number of gangsters in the scene upwards.
  • Ch.2: Inconsistent response from Tracey about a collaborative work environment corrected.
  • Ch.2: Removed confusing reference to Tracey working for Maris for the first time, and another about not knowing about your implants.
  • Ch.3: Removed reference to Ondrej fixing a wall that is clearly cracked.
  • Ch.3: Removed reference to a recording by Angel in circumstances when Angel couldn’t have recorded footage.
  • Ch.3: Clarified that Ondrej asked for a copy of the photo, not for Michael to take the photo.
  • Ch.4: Added a line to clarify who Joseph is (Michael’s husband).
  • Ch.4: Fixed an error that skipped an entire section of text while at the playground.
  • Ch.4: It was possible to visit the hospital, then the director, and then the hospital. Now that cycle leads to a *finish.
  • Ch.5: Removed option not to have a drink, to avoid drinking continuity errors later.
  • Ch.5: “Human interest” option revised to focus on the hospital, not to turn Felix into a hero.
  • Ch.7: Confusing line moved to previous *choice to avoid strange and suddenly violent reactions from Katrina.
  • Ch.7: Changed choices in the fail state so that you don’t reveal Felix’s name before the section where you talk about Felix.
  • Ch.7: Added some material to clarify that Felix disappeared soon after being put on administrative leave.
  • Ch.8: Possibility of spinning up duplicate lines removed.
  • Ch.8: If Katrina isn’t dead or arrested, she’s arrested here.
  • Ch.9: Tracey is no longer kidnapped. (S/he never actually was, but the fact that Jaden is lying doesn’t come across.)
  • Ch.9: No longer able to confront Jaden if you accept a bribe from him.
  • Ch.9: Possibility of spinning up duplicate lines removed.
  • Ch.10: Endings edited so Katrina is not arrested twice.
  • Ch.10: Natasha is no longer 52 years old.
  • Ch.10: Tracey no longer calls you “boss” in the ending scene.
  • Ch.10: Added a choice so the player can decide how they want to comfort Ondrej, which tweaked the final ending a little.