Need a bit of help

hey how would you go about having two different characters talk back and forth in a way that doesn’t seem confusing right now i have something like this

`how many times do I have to tell you its not a toy!?

You say that but all you ever do is tinker with it,hell I don’t think it even works

It may not work right now but thats only because Im missing a transmission for it

Whatever I just came by to tell you that it’s your turn to deal with the raiders.`

but i mean if there is a better way than i’m all for it because to me that conversation feels a bit idk confusing like there should be some kind of indication of who is talking but i don’t know how i would do that.

So, is this all one character speaking there? Cause as it’s formatted it looks like it.

In any case
Add in a few

"*text," X says

That already should help a bit

thanks and its the main on the first line and somone else on the second and so forth

In general, think of what the characters are doing while talking break the dialogue up with that. Like

“It won’t work anyway,” x snarls and leans against the doorframe, arms crossed in annoyed defiance. “As always.”

4 Likes

This would flow better if you re-formatted it like this:

“How many times do I have to tell you it’s not a toy?!”

“You say that, but all you ever do is tinker with it. Hell – I don’t think it even works!”

“It may not work right now… but that’s only because I’m missing a transmission for it!”

“Whatever. I just came by to tell you that it’s your turn to deal with the raiders.”

In general, try to match the punctuation and italics with natural speech patterns. It may also help to read it out loud and transcribe what it sounds like to you then. (:

2 Likes

Punctuation, punctuation, PUNCTUATION !!!

The secret to creating a good flow for written dialogue is always undoubtedly punc-tu-a-tion.

Being a fan of Light Novels, I can say doing conversations like this are normal.

Maybe you can:
“(something something),” said by (someone).
“(not something something),” said by (someone).
"
"

Then just alternate to who is speaking