Make romance a two way thing?

Game Development Writing and Content
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There seem to be a number of different approaches for mechanically representing romance:

  1. The player picks the correct multiple-choice or dialogue options to advance the romance (most VNs, most Bioware RPGs). Sometimes this ends up being a puzzle of picking the correct thing to say, which is… kind of weird imo.
  2. The possibility of romance is based on player stats, in areas not directly related to the relationship (basically, you can mold your PC to the RO’s preference - The Lost Heir, some otome games and dating sims).
  3. Any interactions with the RO increase romance points (basically the easy mode of 1).
  4. The RO is automatically interested in the PC (a number of HGs do this).
  5. The player explicitly makes a choice as to their RO, and that RO is automatically interested in the PC, without complications (Wayhaven Chronicles is the only game I know that does this; it’s basically using an out-of-game magic trick, like the world changing to reflect the player).

I feel like the issue goes beyond just whether the player or NPC makes the first move. Because no matter what you do, you are representing human relationships mechanistically; the NPC will never be as complicated as a real human (AI or mturk notwithstanding). We can try to design systems in a way to avoid toxic romance tropes, but at the end of the day these are still systems; they can never capture the full spectrum of interpersonal relationships. The “mold yourself” approach has the potential to be just as fraught as the “kindness coins” approach. Ultimately, the player still has the control in most games; even if the RO initiates the romance, it’s usually still because of the player’s choices in molding the PC. It’s just another layer of indirection. Unless the RO always asks the PC out regardless of choices…

Anyway I don’t really have an answer here. In my games I prefer to keep the romance mechanics as simple as possible (Pageant used options 3/4), and have basically “accidental” confessions in ordinary moments, but this only worked because my characters have very defined personalities and thus don’t try to account for every player whim in dialogue options. When I play games I dislike picking “flirtatious” options because they always seem a bit unnatural and take me out of the story.

Also please play Creatures Such as We.

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