June 2023's Writer's Support Thread

And I bet they hate billygoats.


double tax for safe gate pass. If not maybe only head will pass. (The tax is pay by each head)


I’ve been working on some confrontations around religion in the gameworld. A lot of it is dense code and would be barely readable on the forum, but here’s a reasonably code-light excerpt:


One evening,
*if f_17_ally <= 3
as you’re skirting the training field on the edge of the city,
you’re shocked to come across Erjan kneeling with three of the Sojourn-folk after weapons practice. He’s leading them in a common chant: “Great Kormuz, Father, Warrior, strengthen our arms against the foe. Shield us from all error. Guide us to glory, Kormuz-eshi. Great Ummay, Birther of the World, Womb of all good things, pour new life into our hearts…” Erjan slips into lilting, fluid Halassurq while his companions continue to pray in Koine.
#I cut in, outraged. “Herne didn’t ask you to train them in your gods, Halassurq!”
*gosub whyupset

Erjan @{erjhostile casts a testy glance in your direction, clearly accustomed to|blinks, startled but unyielding in the face of} your hostility. “They are the ones who asked for my teaching, ${sojname}.”

The three Sojourners—all younger than you, you see now, two girls and one boy—look uneasily defiant. “What business is it of yours, then, stranger?” one of them snaps at you.

“You’re abandoning your heritage and @{relobject bringing disunity to Sojourn. And for what? What benefit do you think you’ll get from embracing the Halassurq cult?”|the Order of Xthonos for a pack of damnable lies! The Angels would rebuke me if I didn’t at least try to guide you back onto the right path.“|swallowing a new pack of lies without even the excuse that it’s what your ancestors believed. Maybe a stranger can be freer than your friends to tell you what folly that is.”|embracing Halassurq ways, just when we most need to stand together as one people, undivided.“|taking up the rituals of an enemy Empire. Do you truly think Sojourn can find any lasting strength from the faraway Halassurqs or their gods?”}

*if cha > 1
For a moment, your passionate fluency seems to give them pause—but only for a moment.
“Our heritage?” The girl glances at her companions with a trace of hauteur on her thin face. “Theirs, maybe. My father was an outcast of the Dust Eagles. I recognize some of his people’s words on Bey Erjan’s tongue. Who’s to say the Bey’s gods aren’t my ancestors’, too?”

“Or that they can’t be mine?” Defensiveness nudges the boy’s voice into a shrill shout. “My mother prayed to the Angels every morning from when we crossed the Ward until the Storm ate her. The Halassurq’s gods have brought him further, untouched.
*if relobject = 4
You want to shame me for asking them the same protection? Because of Shayard, because I’m supposed to be ‘one people’ with them who chased us out? Swive Shayard, and all Shayardenes!”
*if relobject != 4
Why wouldn’t I ask them to do the same for me?"

All your efforts to convince them only stoke them to a greater fury, while Erjan just stands there with his arms folded and a hard smile on his face.


Seeing as we are halfway through the 6th month of the year, this is the the halfway point. (woahhhh, livin on a prayer)

Unfortunately, I don’t have an excerpt to share this month, but I dont want to just post nothing so here’s a Haiku that I write for the beginning of each act, specifically the one for the next update batch I’m working on.

“Sometimes the best thing”

“You can do, is walk away.”

“But not today.”

But anyways, the excerpts here are lovely as always, I look forward to reading them all once I get done with my uni exams. :heart:


I was afraid today of posting my snippet but my beloved Havie (foor the rest of you @Havenstone , lol) and Eiw @Eiwynn; yes, I tend to put nicknames. Both cheered me up to post.

I am saying this for all of you scared of posting and afraid. Post it, you will feel better and use to learn to deal with stress, It also

Inserting shamesly auto-promotion soon I will post info and teasing for my this year Halloween jam. Posting here could help you for preparing and practicing for starting a small game or project.

If I could post all of you can do as well.


I’ve increased my writing sample from one to three pages. It is the low end of the requested range 3-5 but I was starting to feel the sample was written in a contained way to be short so I’ve extended it until it started to feel a little bit stretched.

Back to waiting now. Looking forward to seeing what will be next.

I hope everyone keeps working hard and reaches their targets!


So, excerpt time for me, then.

Yes, this next chapter is an homage to Law & Order.

In the criminal justice system of the Kingdom of Lebenswasserheim, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: The Royal Constabulary, which investigates crime; and the Royal Supreme Court, which prosecutes the offenders. These are their stories.

Havit Street, The Poblation, Lebenswasserheim Burghal
7th of Godmonth, 1020 CE
9:09 Ante Meridiem

Reycard and I are now on an unplanned date, in this lovely Godmonth day.
It’ll be a few weeks before his birthday, but I still don’t know what I’ll get for him.
Well, one thing is clear.
Since he already upgraded his weapon, I don’t need to break my back doing it for him.

As we walk along the streets of the Poblation on this fair morning, he tells us something about his family.
“I’ve meant to tell you this, but someone in my family is a terrible cook.”
I reply, “I’m sure your parents are good at cooking, right?”
“Yes. Every time they prepare the dishes, it’s always a feast. But my younger sister, Nermina… I’m sorry if I have to put her down like that, but she should never touch even a kitchen utensil.
“One time, when she was told to make a bean soup by putting beans and salt, she ended up melting down the salt, which takes 800 degrees to burn.”
“Because the recipe didn’t specify water. And when she attempted to boil water, the pot just flew from the stove!”
“Uhh… did you and your parents try to do something about her bad cooking? I mean, just look at me! Despite all my screw-ups…”
“Yes, yes. Good thing my parents and I are always on standby whenever she attempts to cook something simple, like rice.”

While we keep on walking through this breezy street…
…we suddenly come across a dumpster.
Well, this kingdom has strict anti-littering regulations, so this dumpster is one of many that are the safest places for people to throw their waste.
Furthermore, there are several bins in this dumpster for certain kinds of waste — biodegradable items, non-biodegradable items, and large items.
One can also dig through these dumpsters for something still useful, since anything that is thrown away in dumpsters like these becomes public property, as mandated by law.

This dumpster, curiously enough, has a still-solid treasure chest just lying atop the bin meant for large items.
Reycard, having his curiosity piqued, inspects the chest, and the cosmetic defects he can find are some missing rivets, peeled-off veneer due to exposure to the elements, and a broken lock.
We then both agree to open the chest itself, and we can see that the hinges are still solid.

And then…
…our eyes pop out at what we’re seeing.
Our faces are a volatile combination of disbelief, disgust, and embarrassment.
What we’re seeing right now, inside this otherwise insignificant chest, are bromides of several people in shameful and awkward situations.
Women either in their towels, underwear, or swimsuits (and their faces often show disgust); men tripping up or sustaining some comedic injuries, and other people who are caught doing something scandalous.
What’s even worse… is that there are multiple copies of several of these bromides, which means they would be set for mass distribution!

Reycard reacts, “Who would dare to make bromides like these?! Personally, I’m fine with Neroko having many bromides of her idol, Hershey, since they are made ethically and with her utmost permission… but these?! These ethics are being thrown out the window here!”
And I can’t help but say, “Who would ever want to be attracted to pictures of women caught in their unmentionables?! Deviants, that’s who!”

The Royal Constabulary Local Precinct, The Poblation, Lebenswasserheim Burghal
7th of Godmonth, 1020 CE
10:10 Ante Meridiem

The precinct chief begins…
“So, you’ve found this chest full of flattering bromides in a dumpster on Havit Street, right?”
Reycard and I nod in agreement.
“We’ve also been getting reports of other people finding those bromides in several other spots in the capital. And we’re not having any leads yet on who’s behind all these, since bromides are quite cheap to make nowadays, and there are magical-mechanical devices that even the average Joe or Jane can buy to make these. But we’re not giving up on this investigation. Since you two have found this stash, you’ll serve as one of the many witnesses to this… epidemic of flattering pictures. And I have the right personnel to help you two get this investigation off to a great start. Calleja, Quising… meet your new clients.”

Two constabulary officers, clad in the standard-issue blue and khaki outfit, with the insignia bearing their rank attached to both of the outfit’s shoulder pads, then introduce themselves to us while saluting at their boss.
We also stand up as a form of respect to them.
“SPO4 Sofia Everrealm Calleja, reporting for duty,” a woman who is around my height, has hazelnut-brown hair and eyes, and wields a falchion, introduces herself.
“SPO4 Steve Frank Quising, reporting for duty,” a man who is half a foot taller than her, has scrunched-out black hair and aqua eyes, and wields a pair of padded gloves, introduces himself.


Hi everyone.

Sharing excerpts on the 15th of each month is growing into a wonderful tradition – one that I am thrilled that all of you have embraced along with me. I am grateful that we had @ViIsBae step up early and even beat me to the punch this month! Not only her, but others beat me this month as well!

For those that are discovering this developing tradition, here is something I talked about last month:

I started this as a way to help myself, and others, to get over the anxiety of putting our work out there.

Publicly sharing material can be excruciating to many of us, and having a safe critique-free zone where we can do this, is in my opinion, an essential part of why I introduced this practice into these threads.

I feel that the feedback element to our sharing of excerpts on the 15th should be pared back. This is not a thread to gather feedback or garner interest for a project. There are existing threads and places to post projects for these purposes.

If an author has a WiP thread, that would be the ideal place to post critique-based feedback. Almost every author would love to have activity on their thread.

For those (like myself) who do not have a WiP thread, a DM would be appropriate.

Non-critique feedback in a brief reply here is more than okay in response to a posted excerpt, but it should not be expected nor demanded of others.

Thank you, everyone, for participating in these threads month-after-month. It really does mean a lot to many people that each of you do participate.

. :revolving_hearts:


!!! Oh, I completely forgot about the excerpt-sharing 15th day yesterday :smiling_face_with_tear: I’m gonna have to be a bit late this month again – I’ll try my best to be on time next month.

As for my progress, this month is going okay for me. I’ve finished editing my prologue, and am working my way through finishing my first chapter.

Short scene in which the MC hurries across the palace to reach the imperial gardens

Courtiers, students, and attendants alike throw you subtle glances through furrowed brows as you hurry past, irritated that you do not fit in with the silent stillness of mid-afternoon.

You dash across the pale limestone bricks of wide boulevards carefully lined with paneled screens depicting art and poetry from all corners of the empire. Over arched bridges with railings of bronze and guarded by sandstone statues of gentle elephants and graceful tigers. Through narrow alleys bound on both sides by high walls painted deep scarlet, dusty yellow, or muted jade.

Finally, you stop before a decorative archway between low partitions of stone latticework that seem to stretch on forever. Trimmed hedges of dense foliage and the cool shade of tall trees hide the enclosure from the rest of the palace.

You enter the imperial garden to meet the reason behind a month of tiresome work.


Almost done with editing phase.
Aside some minor correction I only had to change a few names:

  • Captain Cahart’la Proxi (Amaneon specie) has become Captain Ridia Proxi;
  • Zhi’hira (Fluxmo) has become Zhira;
  • Mhri S’uri (Mpath) has become Mri S’uri;
  • Chtra (unknown specie) has become Fiia;
  • The planet Mohnhia has become Monia;

Characters who are unchanged:

  • Cross (Homo Sapiens Sapiens);
  • Krnt (Rotr);
  • Doctress Giga Wyr (Cybit);
  • Xira (Kibra);
  • Tinio (Android)

Well, I’ve finally gotten my update out. And with it, the new investigation system that I’ve been working on. It’s not perfect, but I’m super happy with how it turned out. I feel like there is a feeling of agency added to the investigation that there otherwise wouldn’t have been, and I think it’s absolutely gonna be something that I continue to fine tune and use in the future. Not only that, I feel like it might be another good way to inspire activity surrounding a game, making it so people can share what they investigated with each other, and what choices led to what outcome. But mostly, I’m just happy the update is out. 50k words in total and about 12k added per playthrough. Now to start working on the other half of the chapter, which is the choice of the coroner’s office.


I’m debating whether or not to change Yuna’s name. I actually really like the name Yuna. I called them Yuna Westin in my outline but considering the plot, maybe they could do with a pseudonym? I was watching a let’s play of a game and a character had an “Uchi” brand purse. I think that’s a play on Gucci :person_shrugging:

Anyway, I like the sound of Yuna Uchi… Maybe “Yuna Uchigawa”. I’m sorry for all the name questions. I realize naming things is my weak point.


I had to ban myself from renaming characters when I realised I’d updated my initial set of notes a dozen times.

Honestly I’d recommend picking something you like (even if you have to spend hours on something like behind the name). I know it feels wrong to just give somebody a name that might not match the character they’ve become, but most of the time they were named well before they became the person that they are in a story.


My one rule for naming characters (or anything for that matter) is never use a name I can’t pronounce. I have this fear that, what if my work gets super popular? What if I get asked to do an interview on tv and I get stuck trying to pronounce a difficult name?



Today, I broke the 200K+ words with my Last Dream project!

I am SOOOO happy. Let’s celebrate together!

BTW: @Kelly_Seastar, I am thrilled to see we think alike. You chose Yuna as a name (I love FFX, did you play that videogame? Or is it just chance?).

You also chose Uchi (that’s the first island’s name in my Last Dream project.)

I love those names; keep them! :love_letter:


No, I haven’t heard of FFX.


The waiting is the worst part of submitting your work. It’s why I am trying to keep busy with my q and a topic and some practice writing.


Your thread is super useful and awesome!


With one week left in the month, I am setting up for a final push.

My mini-focus this week will require me to have both focus and discipline to be successful.

To reward myself, if I do succeed, I promised I would give myself permission to read a couple of games that I have not yet done so.

Best wishes for this last week of the month, everyone.


Thank you. I’ve had quite a few fun questions!