Is enby an acceptable term for nonbinary folks?

Hi there! I have a non-binary partner. I’ve spoken to them about the acceptability of the term ‘enby’ being used to denote a non-binary person. They told me that they personally found it perfectly acceptable. However, they mentioned that they didn’t know how other non-binary individuals felt about its use. I trust my partner explicitly, but I also know that they do not speak for the entire demographic. So I would like to put it to other NB individuals in this community. How do you feel about the term ‘enby’ being used? Is it acceptible, or is it preferable to simply write out ‘Non-Binary’ when allowing a player to select their gender? I want to make sure that it is for certain inoffensive before I use it in a story. I do not see it being an issue, but I am not the one being referred to in this way, therefore it is not up to me.

Thank you!:heart:

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It really depends on who you ask, so it’s safer just to write out “nonbinary”. I’ve seen people who really dislike it, but it also feels like pretty common vernacular, so you almost definitely wouldn’t get pushback for including it. But if you want to be very sure not to offend anyone, just sticking with “nonbinary” (or specific gender terms where applicable, such as agender, bigender, genderfluid, etc) would be your best bet.

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As nonbinary, i prefer just to write “nonbinary”. Just sounds more categorically correct, but i really don’t mind “enby” if anyone really prefers that.
Though i must say HomingPidgeon is right: "nonbinary’ is safer, simply because it is accepted by everyone. No risk involved.

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isn’t it just shorthand? as long as it’s either used authentically (by a non-b MC or in dialogue by non-b/queer characters, I mean) and not replacing the term “non-binary” in customization or more expository aspects of the narration :woman_shrugging:t5:. I think at worst it would read as awkward, can’t imagine what would be offensive about such a term.

also, as someone who hates words that are created phonetically, I would find it v distracting outside of dialogue. (srsly is there a good reason for that spelling? is it supposed to be cute?? am i the only person who thinks acronyms are cute as they are :laughing:)

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Yeah enby is perfectly fine, also nb is fine😊

i admit that it’s a new term for me but i don’t really mind that and nb. Though, to be safe, go with “nonbinary”.

I use it sometimes. That said it is safer to just use nonbinary if it is the MC. It’s the broadest term.

well that’s subjective, some people like it some don’t but when picking gender it does is a safer choice to use non-binary

It’s all dependent. There’s no real reason that I can think of why I’d personally take issue with it…yet…I don’t really like it just because it sounds really silly. I don’t view it as having negative connotations exactly, but my personal feelings are that it sounds a little too childish. Of course, those are just my personal ones, and I don’t speak for everyone.

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I feel like it sounds a bit cutesy and infantilizing, so it kind of grates on me (obviously I don’t mean to disparage my non-binary siblings that enjoy using the term). If someone was going to abbreviate things, I’d prefer NB over enby.

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As far as I’ve been told, we don’t use NB, because black people use that abbreviation to describe non-black people and well, they got to it first.

Don’t know if it is true, though.

Edit. I, did not mean to imply that black people can not be non-binary too. Sorry for my clumsy wording.

welp, as a black nb person that’s the first time I’ve ever heard of the acronym. plus, I really don’t think there can be dominion over acronyms–they’re the simplest form of abbreviation.

like, some lgbt+ folks shorten “cisgender heterosexual” to cishet and I can understand someone outside of that group hesitating to use that abbreviation for something else. but like, if some ppl were shortening it as CH, does that mean that suddenly those two letters together are lgbt+ exclusive? nah

*also, I’m sorry, I don’t think you meant it this way, but “they got to it first” is def implying black and nonbinary identities are mutually exclusive

I definitly did not mean to imply that black and non-binary are mutally exclusive. I am sorry if I gave off that impression. It was not my intention.

Again, it is what I was told when introduced to the term. I tried to imply that I am a bit sceptical of it. It also sound to me like an internet things, because phonetically I can hear no difference betweem NB and enby.

People sadly do fight over acronyms, though, and call people all sort of horried things for it. I have for example seem some ugly fights over the A in lgbtqa.

I am glad to hear that a person who is black saying they have never heard of it though. Then I am just going to write it off as some white people getting offended on poc’s behalf. That has happen before.

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That sums my perceptions but in a more articulate way.

Words aren’t about the arbitrary sounds that compose syllables. It’s about intent. There’s no intent for that little word to be harmful and it’s not.

But the kind of childish way it sounds in my head doesn’t go away and little can be done about how someone’s personal perspective interprets a word.

I can’t help but take the interpretation that it’s just a slight bit undermining of values making it somewhat degrading, even if, logically, I understand there’s no real intent for it be that way.

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Ammm, im not a native english speaker so thats my main reason to purchase and buy the games of this company, but sometimes i get confused with certain words and terms that doesnt exist in my mother language and i cant find in my english dictionary (Oxford) terms like “nonbinary” are made up slang or something like that? Its something offensive or a compliment? I really dont get it, the other day i was playing Heroes rise and i got really confused when a character was called “zhe” or something like that, i tried to google it and the internet said it was a neutral way to adress a person or something like that, so basically i tried to use that word in my english test and my teacher said “If you dont know the answer just dont answer, you are in college dont make up stuff” Can someone please explain me this thing? I just want to learn english, are these games gramatically correct? O maybe the american english is diferent than the rest anglo speakers? Maybe its something cultural? Man im just confused lol.

So, using Zhe pronouns is grammatically correct but may not be as recognized or used as They/Them pronouns. It could be a language and cultural thing, but I know that here in the U.S. they/them, Zhe/hir, Xe/Xem, etc are fairly accepted as pronouns.

If you aren’t certain about someone’s gender, you should definitely ask to be polite. With that said, being referred to as non-binary isn’t an insult or a compliment (imo) but can lead to a misunderstanding that could be hurtful just like other pronouns and descriptors.

I also wouldn’t call it slang though Zhe/Hir or Zhe/Zir and Xe/Xem (plus many others) were coined to describe non-binary people throughout the years. Depending on where you live, this term (Zhe/Hir) may not be recognized. So you might be better off using They/Them when writing neutrally to refer to someone but that’s purely your choice. :slight_smile:

//But a note to the thread’s original question, I don’t find Enby particularity appealing to be referred to as but that’s a personal choice. It feels awkward in my mouth to say out loud and (as others have mentioned) makes me feel kinda childish. I prefer NB as a shortened form but I won’t raise a fuss at seeing enby being used somewhere.

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“Nonbinary” is a word for people who aren’t men or women. “Enby” is a slang term that’s just another word for nonbinary, it’s based on the fact that people often shorten nonbinary to NB.

The games are grammatically correct, but if your teacher isn’t up to date on current gender terminology (like zhe/hir pronouns, or they/them pronouns used for individuals) then there will probably things in them that your teacher doesn’t recognize and will think are errors.

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The Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary does have an entry for non-binary, so if you’re using the print edition it might be a matter of that being outdated. It also shows up in Merriam Webster, as nonbinary. (Is the hyphen a British vs American English thing?)

Grammatically it depends on where the noun is in the sentence. If it comes after then a hyphen is used. E.g. It is an off-campus apartment.

If before then no hyphen is used and the two words are seperate. E.g. The apartment is off campus.

Specifically regarding the use of non-binary vs. nonbinary, I don’t think either is culturally bound. Plus if both are used in dictionaries, than both are technically correct.