I find it a bit tricky to put it in words, but what I am wondering is; “I don’t understand it” is the new excuse for being an absolute jerk?
Until which point is acceptable to be “oblivious”? As in, just how insensitive can you be? Like, sure, I know that sometimes, when you don’t understand something you may come off as rude or say something thoughtless without meaning to. But then there are those people that even when you have explained something like 10 times or so, they still come off as rude or inconsiderate because they refuse to listen.
An example; I once met this uncouth oaf who was just being plain rude and once told me: “regardless, you’ll be always a girl to me, even in your boyish lady days ^_^” (and yes, with the emoticon included) after I explained them that I was non binary and what dysphoria felt like. Then, when I got angry at them they were all like “well, explain it to me, I don’t understand it”. It was like that over and over, and it ended bad.
I know that some subjects are tricky and that not everyone may understand them, like dysphoria to cisgender people (it can be something else, of course), but! Even if they don’t, until which point is it comprehensible to overlook their bad-mannered or offensive comments, thinking that maybe, just maybe, they didn’t mean to sound like pricks?