This is the sort of question that you will not be able to please everyone, even if they are in control of the situation. Obviously, if the MC is over 18, then I feel anything is fair game. The bodyguard HG actually had a woman in her autumn years that you could romance, and I applaud it for it
Realize that you may still get complaints in this case; I actually got a couple emails from people disturbed that in a game I worked on recently, Love Bites, the MC was an adult and one RO was actually 20+ years older…and they felt a bit creeped out by it.
And if the MC is not 18+? Then I wouldn’t go over a year, up or down, 2 at the most. A recent HG allowed the player to play as a 17 year old…and once again, the player could say they found NPC X “Attractive” or “Hot”. However, there were complaints about age by a few people, even if some of those NPCs were in their 20’s…and yet, to me this was something the MC had total control over. This is also the reason the two possible ‘adult’ (early 20s) romance options in Zombie High are gone.
This can place a writer in an awkward place. I mean, there are people who like it when an NPC is the one to initiate flirtation, even a kiss…but once again, I’ve gotten PMs/emails by someone who felt ‘creeped’ out by it, even though they expressed attraction to said NPC.
I think it all depends on the characters in the story. If you give the player the choice to note attraction and pursue a romance with someone who they have an age gap with, I see no issue with it. Yes, there will definitely be readers who will take issue no matter what. @Lys gave a perfect example with her own work.
I think most people might get weirded out if the age gap is one where one participant is old enough to be the other’s parent. However, I’ve read stories where it was done well and wasn’t some softcore porn fantasy.
Also, I think age and maturity has something to do with it. A lot of young people are not going to be comfortable with dating someone who is a lot older (though you’ll find exceptions). I think the older you are, the less age matters. You have a better sense of who you are and what you want than you did when you were say…18.
This is a big thing, both on the part of the real life player, as well as the situation in game. One thing I did like about Long Live the Queen is that it did allow the MC (in her teens) to start thinking of marriage/relationships, but this was in a dynastic/monarchical sense.
I mean, how many games allow an MC to romance say an elf? Well, in almost every established game, elves live a long time (3-4 times longer than humans, if not more). And yet, very rarely is age brought up in those games.
The same goes if the RO is a vampire. I mean, heaven forbid if they were made into one 100+ years ago…but even if 20+ years difference, though they may look 18, would change the experience.
My father was about 34 and my mom was in her early 20’s when they first met then had me. I would say the age difference is acceptable once both persons are adults and I’m sure this is the case for most people’s parents being different in age. But as for an adult dating a teenager that isn’t even anywhere close to 18 yet is just gross, so yeah please don’t do that.
But if a person in the story was 200 plus years old and looked like a child, and that person was available as a RO, then I’d tell you that it would be damn near impossible for me to actually do it because they look like a child in my mind. But if it was an actual child? Yeah no. That’s going too far here.
I’m not sure about what age gap is morally “okay” (although I’d say min age 20 and max 30, roughly 5 years apart, no one will object to (as in, 22-27 is fine, 15-18, even tho a smaller gap, is less fine (because we ain’t all super mature))
The thing that bugs me is making “adult” like 20 or something year old characters act like little kids. Like dependent, dumb, curious, annoying, etc. and I’m just thinking “you’ve just written a dumbass 15 year old in a 20 year old”.
In some cases, I’d be more accepting of a mature 20 year old and 40 year old than a 20 year written as a little kid/ teen and a 25 year old.
This is one thing I have been worrying about with my WiP. The MC is 15/16 throughout the story, and most of the ROs are 16, too (so far, so good). However, one is about three years older (originally 19, but now he’s been de-aged to 18). He was initially supposed to just be a minor character with a single appearance, but after fan requests he was made into a full romance.
It’s a thing I have been worrying about, and have been trying to work around. In addition to the slight de-aging (he’s still almost 19, but if he was any younger he’d have to have skipped a year at school, and I don’t see him having done that), I’ve made it clear that the MC is the one who initiates the romance, and the character in question is very keen on taking things slow.
Do people think this is okay, or should I be trying to make it more acceptable? (And if so, does anyone have any suggestions? )
I know that the age of the older partner divided by two plus seven (or the age of the younger partner minus seven multiplied by two) is often used as a rule of thumb for the limits of acceptable age gaps.
So if the younger character is 20 and the older is 25, that’s 25/2 = 12.5+7 = 19.5 or 20-7 = 13x2 = 26 - the two characters fall within the limits of the socially acceptable age gap (although fairly closely within). Same with 25 and 35 - 35/2 = 17.5 + 7 = 24.5 and 25-7 = 18x2 = 36. 20 and 40 would not be - the oldest a 20 year old character could romance, as demonstrated above, would be a 26 year old, and a 40 year old character could romance a character no younger than 27.
That age range is acceptable. Considering that any sex scene you write ( if you write one you don’t have to ) is going to have a fifteen year old you’re already in dangerous waters. But fifteen- nineteen is acceptable from a plot perspective assuming you can handle the social issues if there is any. If sex isn’t involved then it’s fine. If sex is involved be very very careful. there should be consequences.
If the MC will be 16 by the time the RO is 19, then I personally would be fine with it -15 and 19 is too wide an age gap for me. But I think an age gap like that really comes down to splitting hairs - some people definitely would be uncomfortable with it, in which case they can choose not to pursue that RO, but no one could rightfully accuse you of anything creepy.
Yep, any consenting adult should be able to have whatever romantic or sexual relationship(s) they desire with any other consenting adult.
Also, Myrmidons, Cyborgs AI, deities, etc. For them it basically goes that they’re desirable as long as they manage to look like a cute (young) adult and sometimes not even that is required, just the capacity to consent.
While I haven’t been in that kind of relationship myself I’d certainly be open to a (visual) age difference of about that much.
The current Mesieur le President of France (Macron) being a particularly noteworthy one. He apparently had a crush on his then teacher who was about 20 years older and now she’s his wife.
Awww…I never minded the age gap. I mean it’s not like he’s one of our fictional high school teachers. Though see my comment above for one instance of that actually working out.
You’re also dating someone with an age gap of more then 2 years yourself, @ParrotWatcher .
IMHO, not really necessary precautions, but then I’m not 18 anymore myself and I can live with those caveats well enough.
He’s also the cutest guy in the game. Still thank you for making him available to your fans, like me.
Sixteen year old. The mc in his game is almost 16 and the 16th birthday is featured. The age of consent for all kinds of sexual relationships in both England and Wales and my country, the Netherlands is 16. So it seems 'Muricans are a bit prudish with 18.
It’s a state by state thing. Fed min is 13 about, fed max is 18.
Most 'Murican states are 16. About 31 states are 16. 8 are 17. 11 are 18. Those that’s just me going off of wikipedia for numbers. Hollywood has it at 18 so most people have it in their head that it’s 18. And then some have special laws to go to the 13 mark. I remember horrifying my one friend with the age of consent in our state. (He’s a good Christian boy and finding out that we’re more lenient then Japan did not please him)
I still think it’d be better just to have one federal age, it’s weird to have a relationship legal in one state but illegal in another. Plus there’s a few states where you need parental consent too if you’re in a certain age zone.
The US is more gradual with coming of age than most other countries.
Coming of age is a process. You get your driver’s permit around 13-15, 18 is the age of consent when your parents are no longer legally obligated/required to make your decisions for you and have agency over how you treat your body a little bit, and by 21 you’re legally able to drink.
It’s less about prudish and more that anything before 18 triggers the ‘rape’ in statutory rape. Whether or not two people actually consent doesn’t matter so much as the terminology triggers a very negative connotation.
Back to the original question. . .so long as they’re above legal age, I honestly don’t care. I enjoy romances that have a duality to them, whether it be young/mature, booksmart/streetsmart, tall/short, or. . .ahem, ‘experienced’/‘inexperienced.’
Actually come to think of it, I did play a game series before where considerably older characters weren’t all so uncommon in it.
Tokimeki Memorial. A game series which I love by the way. Basically if the character has a unique image and a name, then it’s probably possibly to get involved with them. As a general rule, there’s almost always a character a year younger than the main character and one that is at least a year older in the main cast.
One of the more popular characters was the teacher in the second one(Forget his name). But this would be when the main character is still in highschool and across the span of three years. It doesn’t really focus on the age gap, but it does lead to the odd comment like him giving you a present and I think his exact words were “Don’t mention this to the principal. He would wring my neck, if he knew.”
The principal was even one of the optional characters in the first one, and while I didn’t go down that route the occasional scene I saw with him did actually get me to feel a bit. There’s this part where he talks about the Cinderella fairy tale and how he just never did find his princess, and oddly that scene actually did make me feel for him a little bit.
Yet, fanon still considers the teacher of the second one to be one of the most liked characters. So like most questions, I think it comes across a matter of how exactly something is handled.
The age of consent where i live is 14. Hit me with your worst age gap
But, seriously, as long as they are both consenting adults is fine. To be completely honest, i don’t really mind it as long as both are 16 or older. I know many people here are very keen on the whole “18 years old” so i’d go with that though.
I wish there were more RO options for people who might not want to romance the boring regular 20-ish something year old, not saying they usually are boring it just gets tiring sometimes…But I would hate for such a romance to just ignore the fact that the other person is way older or way younger. I would like to see the mc actually tackle the problems their relationship might bring. I hate how unrealistic and “happy go lucky” a lot of the games are :T
The highest age gap I would go for would probably be about 40 or just above that, still that kind of relationship would probably have a hard time to prosper due to how different their time og growing up might’ve been
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