YOU ARE BACK YOU ARE BACK.
*Hug Gag follows"
Also, how would Guen eventually become a monarch if she doesnât have any of the royal bloodline powers?
2 Likes
If the people are infatuated with bloodlines, I could see them choosing someone else from another bloodline.
Make her opponents look weak and ineffectual; make herself look strong and dependable. Cultivate a circle of allies who would stand to gain by Guenâs ascendancyâŚbut ensuring that you donât become to reliant on one person.
Show that just because someone has magical blood, that doesnât automatically grant insight.
If you want, play the religious angleâŚieâŚ'The Goddess put me in this position of authority because she saw how far the bloodlines have strayed."
If the nobles are prone to infighting, subtly encourage thatâŚand then publically stand forth as a peacemaker.
8 Likes
@Phoenix_Wolf Yep, as powerful as that song is, that will not be the case at all in this universe. 
Those of you who are interested in Mordred and his conception may want to check out my FAQ on tumblr.
Mordred will be conceived in book 3 and born between 3 and 4. Weâll see him as a child in 4.
Yes, absolutely (as @Sammysam says). Only 2-3 children in each generation inherit the royal magic powers, so thereâs no way people want the monarch running around handing that out to just anyone. Theoretically the exception to the âadultery is treasonâ rule would be a male consort, since his having illegitimate children wouldnât bring the bloodline into question⌠but at this point, royal adultery has become such a huge taboo in Guenverse culture that even a male consort would probably be held accountable.
Thatâs the thing⌠Technically execution and replacement, but the handful of times itâs happened have probably not been that clear-cut. After all, if you care that much about bloodlines, how do you replace a monarch at exactly the moment when the bloodlines are called into question? (Do you replace the monarch with the illegitimate child that the law is supposed to prevent? With a relative who doesnât have the magic powers but might have a child who does?) Itâs varied case by case, but itâs rarely logical or pretty.
Things will be tense, and Guen should be able to make a big difference.
??? I donât think I was ever gone? Sometimes the thread gets quiet, but Iâm always around?
9 Likes
Oops, sorry I didnât answer everything!
Well, Arthur is already trying to work toward a world where the bloodline powers donât matter, though heâs somewhat hypocritical about it. How could Guen become monarch? A few ways⌠(Iâm not promising any of these specifically, just hypothesizing.)
- Convince people that itâs time to move on from bloodline powers.
- Gain her own bloodline powers somehow?
- Everyone from the three royal bloodlines is dead or unwilling/unable to rule, so Guen steps in because thereâs literally no one else, and people prefer her to a destabilizing power vacuum.
- Guen designates someone who DOES have royal blood powers to succeed her. (Gawain? Guenâs child with Arthur?) This maybe makes her a little more of a regent-type figure, but it could still give her full monarch powers for the rest of her life.
@Lysâs thoughts are also good!
14 Likes
It would be interesting to be able to frame this story as sort of a last hurrah for magic, I.e magic dies out due to the widespread political and military upheaval of the day. Sort of how like cultural and technological advancements were lost to time (Greek fire and Roman concrete come to mind) magic or at least the practice of specific arts begins to die out. That seems unlikely given the seemingly widespread use of it like the French have a significant ability it seems to use or know about magic. (Melingaunt) but definitely certain arts or spells could be lost, especially as users die out to battle or poor health and the apprentices that should replace them either arenât alive to learn or wonât come for a variety of reasons.
1 Like
I like the idea of gaining special powers and starting a new bloodline.
4 Likes
Sadly, my Guen would love to have parthenogenetic children
2 Likes
Letâs start a genetics programs! For science!
5 Likes
Hey Jean, Iâm reading Guenevere for like the millionth time and I love it as always. I do have a suggestion, though. Iâve noticed that in a lot of cases, weâre kind of âtoldâ rather than âshownâ what is happening, and I think doing the latter would make it more engaging and flavorful. Hereâs an example of what I mean by telling rather than showing:
"Arthur orders the circle of guards to step back, and both my father and Morgana come running to my side immediately. Father is angry, and wants to know whoâs responsible so he can kill them. Morgana is concerned, and looks at my bloodstained sleeve sympathetically.
âArthur calms everyone down and announces that all is well, and the wedding will proceed. His voice is full of confidence and reassurance as he speaks to the crowd.â
2 Likes
Eh, I think you only need to be shown things if it serves narrative or character purpose. Too many writers think we need to know every bit of minutiae.
Also considering how much writing there is and needs to be done- itâs what, past 500k now?- I donât thinking expanding the writing even MORE is really a good idea. Maybe if it was a single narrative, or was going to be only three books, or wasnât a choose your own storyâŚarthuriana has too much stuff as it is.
7 Likes
Non-summaries are just more interesting and help build characters more. Of course the characters in this story are already great, but Iâm speaking in a general sense. That isnât saying we need to see every single detail, not even close.
2 Likes
Iâd agree if the story was plot focused, but the game is character/relationship focused. In a more storyline focused story, taking the chance to write out scenes like that to build character would be necessary any chance you got, but when the whole storyâs devoted to that, it is not as needed.
2 Likes
But what if it didnât show up much? Like if it only happens during things that can show us more of the charactersâ personalities and only happened maybe 5 times per book?
1 Like
Thatâs the point of a choose your own game, though, that only certain things happen depending on choices or personality- the point is to encourage replayability. If you can get every detail with any kind of playthrough it kills reayability.
Maybe if we got zero or little personality from the characters in the story bits everyone received, but we donât- itâs a character focused game, so you get a lot no matter what you choose.
1 Like
That is literally the WHOLE point of having be a rare thing that happens! 
@Samuel_H_Young âShow-donât-tellâ is indeed one of the first principles of good writing! It can definitely make things more engaging. I notice you didnât give any examples of showing (as opposed to telling), so for those who arenât familiar, hereâs one Iâm making up right now:
telling: Susan was hungry.
showing: Susanâs stomach growled painfully. âIâd kill for a pastrami sandwich,â she muttered.
Obviously the second description gives the readerâs imagination more to work with. Itâs also longer, and the extra detail takes more mental processing time.
Letâs look at the part of Guenevere you picked:
Arthur orders the circle of guards to step back, and both my father and Morgana come running to my side immediately. Father is angry, and wants to know whoâs responsible so he can kill them. Morgana is concerned, and looks at my bloodstained sleeve sympathetically.
Arthur calms everyone down and announces that all is well, and the wedding will proceed. His voice is full of confidence and reassurance as he speaks to the crowd.
Hereâs how I might write that part if I was going more for show than tell (note Iâm doing this on the fly and itâs not the same quality I might be able to achieve with revision time):
Arthur straightens his back and turns to the guards. âItâs all right now,â he says. âStand down.â They move away, opening the space around us.
Red-faced and eyes bulging, my father bursts into our midst. âWhoâs responsible for this outrage?â he demands. âIâll kill them!â
âI assure you, Sir Leodegrance, weâll get to the bottom of this,â says Arthur.
Morgana hurries breathlessly to my side. âAre you all right?â she asks me, brows furrowed. Her eyes catch on my healed arm and bloodstained sleeve. âOh, your dress!â
The assembled crowd is crawling with jittery whispers. Arthur faces them and shouts, âPeople of Britain! All is well! Someone attempted to disrupt the ceremony, but they were stopped immediately by the heroism of my bravest knight, Sir Lancelot! We will carry on as scheduled, and show the world just how impossible it is to disrupt the happiness of our great nation!â
So the second example never says that Leodegrance is angry or Morgana is concerned; it shows their emotions through their demeanor and their words.
More engaging? Sure, I guess? (Probably more so in the hands of a better wordsmith.)
BUT hereâs the thing: The first excerpt was 74 words. The second is 143, twice as long. (and I wasnât deliberately trying to make it long; I was just doing my honest best to show instead of telling).
In some cases, the added length of âshowingâ is 100% worth it. Thatâs especially true in linear fiction, where the reader isnât waiting for a chance to DO anything, but is just wanting to be entertained by the text itself. But even in linear fiction, a writer has to be judicious about adding irrelevant or excessive detail. Itâs easy to get so bogged down in showing stuff that you never tell an actual story (or your reader jumps ship before you get the chance).
As for interactive fiction: your reader may be enjoying the story, but youâre trying to create the illusion that theyâre in charge. The longer you make the reader wait to do something, the less theyâll feel like they have any agency. My own biggest criticism of Guen part 1 is that itâs too railroaded â because of the nature of the story, I canât make it branch a whole lot more than it does (though I am planning to add some more branching if I can).
The wedding scene already has a LOT of pages on which the reader doesnât get to do anything. Even what they can do doesnât make much difference â sure, you can attack the assassin, but you fail; you can say a few things to a few people, but the wedding basically moves forward the same way no matter what. Most readers seem to find Guenevereâs premise and characters interesting enough that theyâre willing to put up with this lack of agency, but if I DOUBLED the word count by showing instead of telling at every opportunity? Not sure theyâd be as willing to ride the linear train.
Of course, one solution would be to add more interactivity, but that means either adding more meaningless flavor choices or adding actual plot changes, and either way it means we spend a lot more time mucking around in the wedding scene, which I honestly think is already pushing the limit in terms of length and reader patience.
If you read Guenevere carefully, youâll find plenty of places where I do âshowâ in small ways. Arthur goes up stairs two at a time. Lancelot notices Guenâs arrival at the camp council and makes sure she has something to eat. Morgana sighs a lot. Merlin has a cheese wheel in his stack of books. In those cases I as the narrator donât outright say âArthur has lots of physical energyâ or âLancelot is more attentive than Arthurâ or âMorgana is frustratedâ or âMerlin is weirdâ â the details show it (at least, I hope they do).
Iâm not saying I couldnât do a better job of this, but I tend to prioritize economy of description. So when I do manage show instead of telling, Iâm trying very hard to do it in the most efficient way I can, so that the story is â as much as I can manage â about the readerâs agency rather than mine.
tl;dr: Show-donât-tell is good advice and well worth thinking about, but sometimes you just need to get to the next thing.
47 Likes
Okay, fair enough! I wasnât insinuating that I didnât think you were doing enough, and I was sure that you had already thought about all that, but I just wanted to pop in and give my thoughts.
7 Likes
This brings up an interesting question. What sort of powers would you introduce into your new bloodline if you could?
ponders I know, I probably watched Lady Hawke to much, but changing into an eagleâŚor at least talking to one would be nice. Then again, I can picture my Guen being into falconry.
2 Likes
Confirmed! You can kill off everyone. 
Back to being serious, I believe that the FAQ you have written out has doubled, perhaps even tripled my excitement. So many Guen possibilities. This game is going to be played and replayed for a very very long time (not that it already hasnât been, trust me).
5 Likes