Warning: I’m not perfect, so take it or leave it if some of this isn’t helpful. 
More stuff:
Let’s start off with Robin. A ruthless assassin and the Wraiths top operative.
Wraiths’?
Now their days are spent solving top brass murders and govt sponsored investigations.
Would spell it in full.
Minister Nagai handpicked this team and all their assignments and operations come from him.
Would add a comma: Minister Nagai handpicked this team, and all their assignments and operations come from him
Kai has their own issues, most of them stem from the fact that their uncle is a Minister.
Stemming?
You gnaw at your lower lip as you stare at the Skyscraper.
Wouldn’t capitalize it unless it’s a proper noun.
With its modernized twisting architecture and radiance
Comma? Modernized, twisting […]
The side effects of working solo
Side effect?
You shift away from the C & B building […] the shorter and more charming sister to the C&B
Pointing this out for consistent spelling.
The inside is something out of a T.V show
A bar code with letters in place of numbers
Barcode.
The overall effect is a well groomed young ${mc_man}.
Well-groomed.
Heaving for air, you pull yourself over the railing scrapping your palms.
Comma: […], scraping your palms.
Olivia had helped install an elite software in it so that you have your own pocket sized hacking unit.
Suggestion: Olivia had helped install elite software on it […]. Pocket-sized.
Precious minutes while by,
Fly?
You make a video loop that would buy you a few minutes
Will?
She should have double checked.
Double-checked.
because her workers were a bunch of money hogging bums
Money-hogging.
Barrelling into it would be worse because you don’t know what’s behind them.
Barreling into it = what’s behind it. Barrelling into them = what’s behind them. Unless I’m mistaken.
Admit it Leo.
Comma.
There isn’t any hole in this earth
On this earth?
Shut up Drummer.
Comma.
They’ll tear anyone who gets within fifteen feet of him
Tear anyone apart?
I bet ${mc_he}’ s a meta
Should be capitalized?
Why Callaghan confides in these fools is beyond me.
Do you mean “trust” or literally “confide”?
as the bullet connects between the man’s brows
Connects with.
I circle around firing away to keep ${mc_him} occupied till reinforcements arrive.
Comma: I circle around, firing away […]
The hair at the back of your neck tingle
Either: Hair = tingles. Or: Hairs = tingle.
$!{r_he} curse in pain but doesn’t stop.
Curses.
Whatever gave you the impression that he’s capable of taking me out.
Question mark at the end.
It’s not a well scoped idea
Well-scoped.
$!{r_he}’ s an alpha, a grade seven at the lowest.
Should be capitalized.
you shoot the glass windows a few meters away. It doesn’t break and you figure it’s bulletproof.
Either: The glass windows = they don’t = they are. Or: The glass window = it doesn’t = it’s.
your brain is far too petrified for clear thought process.
A clear thought process.
It’s dark except for the few streetlights and you search through your pocket for your phone.
Street lights. Do they only have one pocket?
The Supermarket’s board flickers in welcome as you walk past it
Doesn’t have to be capitalized unless it’s a brand or something.
A mother juggling groceries and a tribe of mewling toddlers throw you a suspicious glare as you brush past her. Can’t blame her.
Would make more sense to write: […] past them. Can’t blame them. A mother and her toddlers = them.
and the clinking of his jewelery is giving me a headache.
Jewelry.
I touch the sharp broken edges of the wooden beams.
Comma: […] sharp, broken edges […]
A Sigma wouldn’t have contacted the Earth hard enough for a splatter
Up ahead on the horizon is a large Manor that’s lit up like a beacon calling you home.
Does it have to be capitalized? Comma: […] beacon, calling you home.
You come to a halt at the Iron gate
The word seems foreign, and odd considering no one ever uses it.
Confusing comma.
The buzzer rings, and the overhead bulb changes colour from red to green.
Changes its colour?
Thank you Miss Sanders.
Comma.
but I do so love annoying you my sweet baboo.
Comma.
Male, late twenties, straight chin length black hair,
Chin-length.
Female, late twenties, straight chest length black hair
Chest-length.
You are a highly coveted Government asset ${surname}.
Does it have to be capitalized?
You would have been stuck in that four walled prison for the rest of your existence.
Four-walled.
Unlike most people when the Commander’s temper reaches boiling point, he doesn’t yell or throw a fit. His expression becomes deathly serious
Comma: Unlike most people, […] Deadly serious.
Sarcasm isn’t an endearing trait ${surname}.
Comma.
I am twenty three!
Twenty-three.
After you’ve striped down to your underwear
Stripped.
You have no intentions of bumping into ${r_him} if it can be avoided.
Have no intention?
A wraith.
Needs to be capitalized?
Their back stories are never good. If any meta refuses to comply with the Government, there are only two routes from there. A Govt sanctioned hit or joining the Wraiths.
Backstories. Capitalization: Meta. Government: Is capitalization necessary? Would write “Govt sanctioned” out.
$!{r_he}'s an alpha, a grade seven at the lowest.
Capitalization.
For the sake of consistency:
Gruff, immovable and a grade 12 Alpha.
We all know his secretary is a Grade 12 Omega
I am a grade ten and used to be a part of the Special DPT forces.
A grade ten Alpha wouldn’t make it out of here in one piece.
$!{r_he}'s an alpha, a grade seven at the lowest.
However, I am unique in the sense that I am a grade ten and used to be a part of the Special DPT forces.
I’d peg him at grade ten.
I’d peg her at grade ten
Decide whether or not to capitalize “grade” and if you want to spell the number out or not.
