In one of the scenes, you will get to spend your birthday with your siblings and friends.
Meet your father early and see your grandfather as the right hand.
Spend more time with Kela and Odo.
Spend more time with your mother and see your uncle early.
Attend a tournament.
And a lot more.
Wow your suggestions great.
Endless possibilitys.
I’m even more of a sucker for family activities.
If possible you should add befor the chapter 2 so I say Yes.
I rather u add them before doing the next chapter since it was be a pain editing the early story to add it later.
Has anyone consider what and how would the effects be like it you named your wolf after the Imperial ruling house’s name or after the first emperor?
I don’t know about the effects…but…It would definitely be cool if we have some flavour text about that…if Helena named the MC after the first emperor or if the MC named their wolf after the first emperor.
there’s already flavour text for wolfy and moon.
i would like it more if mc has his own name and independent identity than first Emperor.i don’t want to be called second of someone.i want mc’s name to be unique.mc’s descendants should be named after mc.
if you are going to add that much scenes then i think it would be better if you add those scenes before other chapters.(you can literally make whole new chapters with that scenes)
Now the stories for the next game are complete. Will start working on one of them once WoH is finished. You won’t hear from me for a while as I will try my best to finish WoH as fast as I can. (Won’t rush it, don’t worry)
(Only three ROs)
You were once a powerful vampire king/queen ruling over an ancient and large city-state full of humans. A god/goddess among mortals, until you were betrayed by those you trusted.
Not able to destroy you, they locked you up in the abyss of darkness for thousands of years.
Now you wake up, full of lost hunger and rage, only to find yourself in a strange world different from what you once knew. A world where humans control it. (Current world)
A Zombie game inspired by the walking dead.
The world you knew is no more. The dead arise after death, and they hunger for flesh.
You and your family must try to flee the city before the military bombarded it to ashes.
Only three ROs.
You were supposed to be dead with the rest of your family, but fate had another plan stored for you.
It was only due to a mercenary captain who your father hired in his wars that you survived the fall of your city.
You spent years with the company, learning their ways of war and honing your skills until you rose and became the captain’s second in command and one of the best fighters in the Far East.
Your captain received a new contract that will change your life forever.
(Inspired by Tyranny) Dark fantasy.
The Overlord’s hunger for control grows further. As one of his archons that bear part of his power, you are sent across the great sea alongside other archons to subdue a new continent.
You are forced to work alongside the archons and their troops to defeat the new world while also sabotaging each other, as the one who manages to get the most control is the one who gets to rule the new world under the Overlord’s guidance.
You have been placed as the commander of the Blood legions. Bring force more control to the Overlord or face his annihilation!
Glory to the Overlord.
Realistic medieval low fantasy no magic world. (Inspired by the forgetting one)
“They have broken the pact. The Northern Alliance is no more.”
You are called upon to claim the throne after your father’s death.
The story focuses on war and dealing with ruling the kingdom as a young 16-year-old Mc.
You will only have three RO, not including affairs. Fewer ROs will mean more focus on them.
The MC will have to marry in chapter 2. The first two RO are brother and sister. Both will arrive at your court.
RO
Your betrothed if you are playing as male.
Princess Vainira of House Volenmr: The future queen of your kingdom.
Sexuality: straight.
Your betrothed if you are playing as female.
Prince Famir of House Volenmr: The future king of your kingdom.
Sexuality: straight.
Duke Odo of House Saunward: Your break away duchy. He joined the enemy after your father’s death.
Sexuality: Bisexual
0 voters
One of the ROs from The Forgotten Immortal. Made it in vampire the masquerade style
Name: Melna. The one in charge of hunting you down.
If you’re asking if she is a maniac who is obsessed with the MC, then yes.
Is she a yandere?
Damn it cat, just had to appeal to my base nature of realistically evil.
Lets Go!!!
we are going to have so much fun😈
Now it’s hard to resist hiding from her lol. I wouldn’t mind getting caught
She’s perfect :')
Alrighty, I took an afternoon to dedicate a review of this title.
Ill be writing live and adding stuff as I go along broski, ill have drop down sections to make this condensed, and ill specifically name the sections so you can go to where you feel like you wanna hear most about.
With that out of the way, lets a go!
Love the banner, golden horse on green.
Reading the first page alone, I can tell you struggle with the exact same shit I do lmao! We have to be sure of verbs and such being current or past tense. I struggle with it alot. But it isn’t hurting the enjoyability so you can push that to the back and save it for when you do the final editing before submission to Hosted Games.
Also, Nrein and Helena give me Alicent and Rhaenyra vibes, and I assume they’re gonna hate each other’s guts like crazy in the future? We shall see if I’m right xD
Example:
“A cat?” Nrein raises an eyebrow as she tilts her head to the side, gazing into Helena’s emerald eyes. “No darling, it’s most surely a sheep,” she says while shaking her head. “Helena-" she clears her throat, attempting to sound worried- "you must see a healer at once! I think you’re losing your sight!”
OHHHHHH SHITTTTTTTTTT
Reading to that point, I feel like you can do more showing instead of telling. After a character does something, you explain stuff and steal the incentive for the reader to think and feel smart about inferring things on their own, hurting reader enjoyablity. People like to feel smart, it’s our job to make them feel like it by carefully planting stuff here and their so they can come to their own judgements.
I suggest changing the name of Enchanted Wolf to something else. Ask your readers for ideas, and maybe make a poll about it later? I’d like to present my own idea, Ruby Wolf, named as such for their red eyes! A couple of my readers suggest Blood Wolf for their bond with their person, and another said why not make it german and do Bludhund
ANNNNNNNNNNNND FINISHED!
The story overall is concrete enough to know where you wanna take this, though I felt there was a lot of obvious inspiration from GRRM. The live review uptop should be plenty enough evidence for what im talking about.
Hopefully you’re able revamp a lot of the passages with the list of sentence structures i gave you, it will help make it more organic.
I think this is your third thread, with a number of rewrites right? My advice is to stick with it and keep going forward to make the outline of the story, and then to go back to overhaul stuff once you know the direction you’re heading. For the amount of times you’ve spent going back and changing things, the return on that energy spent isn’t looking like a sound investment.
The “aye” use in the story got more chuckles from me, and i don’t think that was something you were looking for when using that word.
I heavily suggest aging up the characters as well if you want to use mature dialogue and actions from the cast and MC. I felt like i was 13-14 with the dialogue options and that of your friends. Nowing we’re ten puts a damper on that. I haven’t been keeping up with the thread here since last time i popped up, so i don’t know what your plans are for NSFW content. Just be warned that you’ll face a lot of opposition for any sex stuff with underage characters here. Also, the cousin RO. KaE has cousins that your uncle will suggest you marry for a strategic alliance, but the plan was always to make it unable to happen, irregardless of your willingness or lack of it. But the readers went overboard on each side, causing me to step in and reveal that you’d never have a chance anyways, making me lose out as a storyteller. (Fyi to people against cousin marriage, there’s modern cultures that practice it. You don’t get to say theyre weird for that. Fuck off. Fyi people that’re for cousin marriage, you don’t get to say everyone should be fine with it. Fuck off. Bottom line, just enjoy the story the author presents without harassing those with opposite views or harassing the author.)
So good luck on that front man!
I honestly think it needs more so i can give you my thoughts on the story as we’re just starting it. You haven’t given me enough to say its good or bad because there’s a lot of seeds being planted early on, like the missing aunt, or the emperor being absent, and your relationship with the characters your age. But i don’t know if those seeds will come to fruition since we’re so early in the story.
I wrote this review by ONLY reading the game and not the RO information on top of thread, so take that in mind!!!
Love it!
Though i seriously think this should be in a codex or something.
Im going over the ROs we met only!
Quella sounds like a sweet heart. She gives me Eleanor Roosevelt vibes, and that’s making me reaaaaaally liking her a lot.
Why Eleanor Roosevelt's Example Matters More Than Ever | History| Smithsonian Magazine
Gossa sounds crazy, but not the kind I like lmao
“She suffers from the Noogren madness that plagues her entire family.”
Say whaaaaaaat
Same for her brother Lord Feroy lmao
Cmonnnn bro, give some more info for our boy Odo! The men are getting lacklustre treatment
Thank you a lot for the advice and feedback. 
I really find it odd how people say the game is close to the House of dragons, as I never saw an episode of the show or even read the books.
I suppose that is why I’m conflicted about changing anything about it? Will have to think it over.
The funny thing is that the story is heavily inspired by game of thrones, not the other.
If you want to add the heart: You can do it by just adding the emoji beside the choice.
