This was very well written and I really enjoyed your story and the cast. Full disclosure, I’ve only played Hades route with an MC that has a good relationship with their mother, misses the sun, but enjoys the newfound freedom and relationships so is on the fence about staying (which is rough because there are a lot of hate your Mom choices and a lot of the want to go home choices feel a little aggressive). With that in mind others might not have this issue, but in my opinion, certain beats seem a little emotionally disjointed.
For example, you can be completely invested in Orpheus and Eurydice, hoping that they succeed, and can even choose the options where you mention that you would like a relationship like theirs, yet, if they fail you kind of have to be rather accepting about it. I think it would be nice if you had the option to be angry or upset with the outcome, especially since the text describes you grabbing desperately for possibilities for a happier ending, practically beseeching Hades who set the terms of the trial (I realize Hades explains afterwards that due to Fate there was nothing he could do, but the MC in that moment doesn’t have that information, also, emotions are often not rational). It might allow Hades more insight into the MC as well if they could explain why they were so invested in the outcome.
The transition of going from emotional and a little upset at Hades, to do you want to eat a pomegranate and stay? Is a little jarring as well. It would be nice too if you could ask some questions after the offer of the pomegranate if you have an MC that is on the fence about staying. For example, at this point my MC’s made their interest clear (saying they would like the outing to be a date, etc.) and been rebuffed, there hasn’t been any discussions indicating that Hades sees the MC in anything but a platonic light, I imagine it would be rather heartbreaking to stay in an unrequited affection situation.
Which leads me to the overall vibe of the relationship. I played with the NPC initiative “ON” and it scares me to think of what it would be like with it “OFF” because I felt like I was harassing the poor man (Hades) after a point. I took every opportunity to express interest, took all the options about fulfilling the role of a consort, etc. so the annulment question in the epilogue felt like a slap when he mentions that he assumes that is what you want. Also, there is no way to push back on the question, which is frustrating. It would be nice to ask if a real marriage would be a possibility one day or if he only sees you in a platonic light (quite frankly it would be nice to ask this prior to the trial).
I get that Hades is a more reserved character, which is why I think maybe a letter from him prior to the trial might be beneficial? It is high stakes; the MC was potentially kidnapped and if the MC stays in Olympus that is the end of their relationship so maybe that would give him the impetus to be a bit more expressive? Even the “goodbye” if you stay in Olympus would be a good opportunity for some bittersweet emotion, it just felt a little dry as it is now and you can’t even explain why you chose it (staying in a loveless marriage where your feelings are rather unrequited just seems like a cruel ask).
Hades is older, time is different for him, and more reserved so it makes sense that it would take him longer to develop feelings. While MC is younger, more sheltered, etc. and more inclined to fall faster. I guess my issue is that the narrative never addresses this imbalance that feels like the elephant in the room and there is what feels like a lack of emotional intimacy between the two.