Mm, I don’t think it’s fair to say that lack of hair colour/height/etc choices means a game is saying player choices don’t matter. There are a lot of ways of having a vividly-written, responsive game without it.
I think it is just something where people have very different feelings about it. For me, I struggle to get very excited about hair and eye colour choices, especially if it’s before the story has got going. I do write the choices, - I confess they’re not generally my favourite thing to do because there’s a fair bit of effort to make them feel interesting to me, but the options are helpful to inform descriptions down the line, which will hopefully help players who feel more strongly than I do to feel like they’re gelling with their character.