No update today.
Deadline for current update: Rest of Mari one night stand tomorrow(explicit stuff, plus a few things I didn’t include in the previous one)
Deadline for the rest in this segment: Varies. February, in small parts.
(INSERT EXCUSE HERE)
Tomorrow. 
No update today.
Deadline for current update: Rest of Mari one night stand tomorrow(explicit stuff, plus a few things I didn’t include in the previous one)
Deadline for the rest in this segment: Varies. February, in small parts.
TO MOR ROW
No update today.
Deadline for current update: Rest of Mari one night stand by Sunday(explicit stuff, plus a few things I didn’t include in the previous one)
Deadline for the rest in this segment: Varies. February, in small parts.
Okay, this is getting ridiculous. I don’t even have a real reason as for why it’s so tough to get this to the condition I want it to be in to post it. 
It’s pretty much done but the idea of posting it is really unappealing. Clearly I know the reason, which is that I’m afraid the response won’t be great since this type of content is new and strange to me, and I have zero confidence in it because of that, and so on.
Then, if I know that’s the case, why don’t I just post it but instead always find this or that that I feel like I can improve if I work on it “just a bit”? After all, the fact is that I can always change it afterwards if the response isn’t great. Would be great if I wasn’t such a foolish fool. 
Anyway, I’ll try to get to grips with my mental state about it on the weekend, since tomorrow won’t be a good day for something like that. Sunday, because I’m pessimistic.
I really do need to keep deadlines at some point, the constantly changing dates and the “tomorrow rally” isn’t good for my credibility, I feel, or for my personal feelings of consistency. On the plus side, once I do get a hold of it all(and I will at some point), it should have a beneficial effect on the rest of my life too. 
No update today.
Deadline for current update: Rest of Mari one night stand by Sunday(explicit stuff, plus a few things I didn’t include in the previous one)
Deadline for the rest in this segment: Varies. February, in small parts.
Tomorrow or the day after.
No update today.
Deadline for current update: Rest of Mari one night stand tomorrow(explicit stuff, plus a few things I didn’t include in the previous one)
Deadline for the rest in this segment: Varies. February, in small parts.
Tomorrow?
No update today.
Deadline for current update: Rest of Mari one night stand tomorrow(explicit stuff, plus a few things I didn’t include in the previous one)
Deadline for the rest in this segment: Varies. February, in small parts.
This sucks. I really want to get it out tomorrow since I’ll be on a trip from the 21st to the 25th, and it’d be great to have at least one day between posting and leaving so I can fix stuff if needed.
But somehow I get the feeling that my brain won’t let me post it until the final moment, so I conveniently won’t have to deal with the update until I get back, in case the response is negative. 
I hate that I can be so analytical about it but simultaneously do absolutely nothing to solve the situation. Argh.
If worst comes to pass and I only post it just before I leave, I’ll do my best to fix any issues that appear(provided I remember to copy the files over and take my dashingdon password with me when I go), and respond here as is needed. Take that, brain!
It may be wishful thinking, but once this update is out, I’d like to get to a much faster update-schedule. It’s really unfortunate that it’s taken me a month to post this update. Still, it’s somewhat understandable given the context of it being scary for me. 
(the next few updates should be easy-peasy since I can just use the Mari Badr version as a template. One would think it’d be quick enough to upgrade them. Not that I ever posted the basic versions here, I guess. In any case, the fact that they exist makes all of this much easier)
I gotchu 
Wouldn’t it be great if there were a way to “schedule” when posts go live? 
Similar to how you can get a reminder/bookmark to pop up on a certain date. That way one could pretend (for peace of mind’s sake) that something is being done about the situation.
Plus the updates would always be on time.
No update today.
Deadline for current update: Rest of Mari one night stand tomorrow(explicit stuff, plus a few things I didn’t include in the previous one)
Deadline for the rest in this segment: Varies. February, in small parts.
Tomorrow.
The doubt is always right.
At least until I get a better reputation after I get my act together.
Gotta keep up to date with stuff so I can feel anxious about it, you know.
I doubt the response is negative as a whole. I’m sure there are some criticisms but overall it’s probably okay.(would be weird if it was totally good as it is, honestly, given the context(it being a foreign subject to me) but anything’s possible)
The real problem is, as usual, how I take the possible negative response. Like, I tend to have the bad habit of jumping to conclusions from the slightest negative stuff. A single negative opinion mixed into 99 positive ones makes me instantly focus on the negative instead of the positive, which is a very foolish attitude to have, but it’s ingrained in my personality. “A drop of poison in a barrel of water spoils it all,” in a nutshell.
Still, that absolutely doesn’t mean anyone should be lenient in their opinions. It’s more useful to have truthful than fake opinions, even if that means there’s more negative ones. I’m sure I’ll post more detail on that with the update since I want to hammer in the idea that I want to know if there are problems rather than live in an illusionary reality where everything is fine, since I can’t fix what I’m not aware of.
I’m not entirely sure what you mean by that, but to schedule something I’d have to press the necessary buttons to do so, which would mean anything I schedule HAS to be in perfect condition on the moment I press that button. (thus, it wouldn’t change my current problem)
And what’s to prevent me from unscheduling something due to the fear creeping in as the promised date approaches as I get second thoughts on the perfectness of the thing being uploaded? The mind always comes up with ways to foil things. 
Anyway, tomorrow…
No update today.
Deadline for current update: Rest of Mari one night stand when I stop being a bozo(explicit stuff, plus a few things I didn’t include in the previous one)
Deadline for the rest in this segment: Varies. February, March, in small parts.
Darn.
That’s the only thing I can say at this point. I was really betting on the fact that going on a trip would force me post the update, like had happened before when I went on my December trip, or my Japan trip.
Guess life isn’t that simple, huh?
Well, no use dwelling on it at this point. Maybe several days away from it will help me, who knows.
Fact is, this is the scariest update of all to post, so far anyway, so I suppose I shouldn’t be super hard on myself for it. Still, it does make me more than a little pissed off at myself.
Be back on Sunday. Might not post my daily “no updates” while I’m gone to try out the old “distancing myself from stuff to make it feel less crazy” method. After all, the problem might be “too much anxiety to post” rather than “not enough pressure to post”. We’ll see, I guess.
As usual, sorry for the unkept promises, as well as the needless “trauma dumping”, so to speak. I know I say this all the time, but I really do need to shape up in the near future if I want to get Cyberpolice done in any reasonable timescale. 
If this keeps up, this darn update will be so bloated and polished that it’s unreal. It kinda already is, which will be apparent when it’s eventually posted on the most beautiful of days. (part of the problem is the fact that it’s so large, word count wise, which makes it uneven in many ways, which makes it feel all the more likely that it isn’t great all-around which activates my “must perfect” instinct, and so on. Nasty loop, that).
Anyway, I shall return on Sunday, and get back to the update-lottery on Monday.
Bye for now.
Alright, I’m back, “work” continues tomorrow.
I do feel much better about it, though. Still, I’m gonna inspect it more closely now that I’m in a better mental shape to make sure I haven’t missed anything, so probably no update for a few days I’m guessing. Unless it’s perfect as is.
No update today.
Deadline for current update: Rest of Mari one night stand this week(explicit stuff, plus a few things I didn’t include in the previous one)
Deadline for the rest in this segment: Varies. February, March, in small parts.
Funny how different it looks with a calm mind rather than a “gotta push it out nooooow” mentality.
Most of the contents are fine, mostly some restructuring needed(which scene is accessible in which path, etc) and maybe some smoothing over(dialogue could use some work in certain parts, choice wise). Pretty small stuff. No rewrites or additions.
Now, I’m purposefully going to take a “calm” approach to it to avoid getting too much stress or anxiety, so no exact date. This week, certainly, but whether it’ll be closer to Thursday or Sunday will remain to be seen. This time there will be no “tomorrow for sure” posts. When it happens, it’ll be a sudden strike from clear skies. 
I’m not overly busy this week either(aside from today but that’s dealt with now), so I don’t foresee any problems. Then again, I never do, do I?
One final emoticon since there are so many above. 
No update today.
Deadline for current update: Rest of Mari one night stand this week(explicit stuff, plus a few things I didn’t include in the previous one)
Deadline for the rest in this segment: Varies. February, March, in small parts.
I’ll have to think about whether I’ll change to this type of workflow in the future too. Would save my mind from the stress of failing to deliver the updates at promised deadlines, which is nice. I’ll probably see if it works well, or if it just leads to laziness due to lack of responsibility. For now it works well enough.
No update today.
Deadline for current update: Rest of Mari one night stand this week(explicit stuff, plus a few things I didn’t include in the previous one)
Deadline for the rest in this segment: Varies. February, March, in small parts.
The temptation to give some day as a deadline is very strong.
No update today.
Deadline for current update: Rest of Mari one night stand this week(explicit stuff, plus a few things I didn’t include in the previous one)
Deadline for the rest in this segment: Varies. March, in small parts.
But I can resist that temptation.
No update today.
Deadline for current update: Rest of Mari one night stand this week(explicit stuff, plus a few things I didn’t include in the previous one)
Deadline for the rest in this segment: Varies. March, in small parts.
Gosh, it’s pretty hard to think of anything to say when I can’t say the usual word.
No update today.
Deadline for current update: Rest of Mari one night stand this week(explicit stuff, plus a few things I didn’t include in the previous one)
Deadline for the rest in this segment: Varies. March, in small parts.
No update today.
Deadline for current update: Rest of Mari one night soon(explicit stuff, plus a few things I didn’t include in the previous one)
Deadline for the rest in this segment: Varies. March, in small parts.
Next week.
No update today.
Deadline for current update: Rest of Mari one night soon(explicit stuff, plus a few things I didn’t include in the previous one)
Deadline for the rest in this segment: Varies. March, in small parts.
Busy for the next two days or so, so probably not before that, I’m afraid.
No update today.
Deadline for current update: Rest of Mari one night soon(explicit stuff, plus a few things I didn’t include in the previous one)
Deadline for the rest in this segment: Varies. March, in small parts.
Good thing I didn’t do the “tomorrow” thing since it would’ve failed miserably.