Autumn Winds - A Pride and Prejudice adaptation (81K Words)

No problem, just remember that feedback is given constructively to improve the demo, if you liked it.

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@yamato1
Yes. I just worded wrongly. Every critisizim should be Constructive critisizim.

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So i haven’t read the novel this one is based on so can you give a description of the ro’s and the non romanceble characters that will interact more with mc? Also on the Marquis with the dragon symbol route the house and park still remain unknown is it an error or is it meant to be that way?

Yes, I’m still pending adding all that information here in the topic. I’m bad at summarizing or giving details but well, I’ll see what I can do: The first RO you meet is Caroline Bingley, sister of your friend Charles Bingley. Caroline is a lady refined to perfection in 1811 - she knows how to embroider, play piano, sing, and speak several languages, but her personality is a problem. She’s classist, looks condescendingly at those below her, and flatters those above her, making her interactions very superficial, although in that era this was very intelligent since for ladies, climbing the social ladder was extremely important. The second is Elizabeth Bennet: She’s intelligent and sarcastic, criticizes the superficiality and falseness of etiquette, knows how to draw and play piano acceptably, but her family constantly humiliates themselves in society. Her father, while he loves her, hasn’t been as present as an authority, and her mother, who isn’t very brilliant, only thinks about marrying her off - not in a bad way, as a good mother she wants her daughter’s security since she knows how harsh society is. Then there’s Jane, Elizabeth’s sister - she’s sweet, kind, humble, and innocent, and embroiders very well. And then there’s Georgiana Darcy, Darcy’s sister and the MC’s friend. She’s like Caroline in skills but like Jane in personality. As for the rest of the characters… Ah! As for the Marquess, the dragon route still doesn’t define the property’s name or its appearance, which is influenced by the MC’s family’s warlike past, no, it’s not an error.

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I’d like to second the wish to have a list to pick from (as choice options) - I find having to type things in these games unpleasant, even when I’m not drawing a blank, which is what I usually do. Also that would have a diminished risk of naming the character with the same name as someone else in the story.

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Woah was the mc involved in military or something cuz that sounds really interesting.
Also thx for interacting frequently, I have been enjoying the conversations with you and everyone else.
As for the option to choose or having to type, I’m not really that selective, though from what I’ve seen users usually prefer choices to be given by the author.
Thx again for this awesome wip.

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Also I hope you keep that option which maxes everything as it would make it easier for people instead having to constantly type it in.

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Ah, my bad, I was overly strict when interpreting that rule about only using first names in private. I thought speaking to her sister, DIDN’T count as private. You thought it DID count as private. You’re correct to interpret it that way. :slight_smile:

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Thanks! Yes, in the marquess route there are two paths, in both of them the MC, well his family has a military background.

Although one is more of an exaggerated easter egg, which I expected not many people would choose, but it seems that some were drawn to the exaggerated description of the coat of arms.

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Currently contemplating putting Lady Catherine in her place somewhere on the Marquis route. If I recall my English peerage correctly, we outrank her by a step or two. But that would require reworking some chain of events since it’s kind of the inciting incident for Darcy to take the plunge.

Achievement: Deus Ex Marquis - Pull rank on Lady Catherine hard enough to stop her officious meddling.

Speaking of which, I did enjoy the Easter egg about Colonel Forster’s regiment being deployed - or not - to the marquesate. Something of a setup for Wickham I presume?

As echoed by others, the descriptions of dress and music are excellent, as are your depictions of the characters. All-around excellent. I did notice that every now and again, particularly in the Elizabeth POVs, the narration switches from second- to first-person. That can be a little jarring.

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A fun game! Plenty of historical detail, and I like that we can make our character overpowered: a wealthy Marquess who is also impossibly handsome and ridiculously good at literally everything.

Well, there’s an image.

Personally, although Jane seems like a sweetheart and Elizabeth is a lot of fun, I don’t think I could bring myself to romance either of the Bennett sisters: the Bro Code forbids it. But I’m glad the option is there.

Georgiana is an unexpected choice. Isn’t she underage? Or has she been aged up for this story?

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Thank you for the response! This makes me interested in few things though:

  • You mention choosing Elizabeth early in the game, how early are we talking about approx. for each RO? Will you have one locking option where we will pick who, or will it be more like you will be able to lock in with one in a scene, if you don’t, you will be later able to lock in with the second lady and if you don’t pick that one the third and fourth?

  • How much interaction will we have with Jane and Bingley and Elizabeth and Darcy or other characters if we don’t pick them? Will it depend on which of the other ladies we will choose? Like if we pick Caroline, we will see more of Bingley and if we pick Georgiana, will we see more of Darcy and Elizabeth?

  • And if we choose either of the Bennet sister will Darcy also get involved like either try and ruin it or just speak to us about it?

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Personally I think it would be cool to see what the outcome would be if either jane or elizabeth ended up with someone other than their original suitors and from what I hear their respect for you in either route is high enough that they would let you go for anyboy you want.
It seems like author may want to age her up or the age consent might actually be lower than what I thought. Because I think it was 16.

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Yes, she’s going to be one year older than in the novel the first year, the second year 1812 she turns 18.

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The first two chapters, especially the second one that takes place during the group’s stay until Christmas when they return to London. Throughout the second chapter we’ll see them interact with each other like in the novel - Darcy with his strange glances at Elizabeth and listening to her conversations discreetly, and Bingley being Bingley, although the MC won’t be a ghost and there will be several opportunities or If’s in which the MC’s statistics and abilities will be taken into account while experiencing the rich life in the English countryside. In the third chapter is where everything splits and we stop seeing various characters depending on the route. If you choose Jane, Darcy will treat you like he treated Bingley - under his pride and prejudice he’ll try to save you from disgrace, especially if you’re a marquess which would entail said relationship, while he falls in love with Elizabeth and the romance between Bingley and Georgiana begins, although romance sounds… not very amusing… Basically the two respect, know and love each other without harming the other. In case you choose Elizabeth, he acquires the same concern now multiplied by 2 - Bingley with Jane and you with Elizabeth.

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Take this with a grain of salt, but if I’m not mistaken, in 1811 the minimum age for men was 14 and for girls 12. Now as I understand it, this almost never happened and everyone married above 20, with some very exceptional occasions in which marriage was contracted before 20 by one part of the couple or both. If I’m not mistaken, Lydia’s marriage in the original novel was Austen’s critique of paternal negligence that led the family to the brink of social disgrace.

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Actually I think it’s good that you sort of increased georgina’s age and it sort of makes it more appropriate for modern people. And also because if she was underage it’d be kinda weird as I usually have my mc on the late 20’s side which would also be pretty morally taxing on me.
Again awesome wip keep up the great work​:+1::+1:

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just a little issue I found:
to receive the " The Red Dragon of West: " achievement the eye color “green” is required

  *if ((playerhaircolor = "red") and (playereyescolor = "green"))
    *achieve dragon
    *if (playerstrength < 6)
      *set playerstrength + 1    

However the player eye colors are listed as:

#Light green
*set playereyescolor “light green”
#Dark green
*set playereyescolor “dark green”

making the achievement impossible to trigger currently.

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Yeah I got two achievements and was looking for the third one and couldn’t get it even after trying everything.Nice catch.

Fixed.

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