There was a point in time when I was really pumped about ace romance routes in CoGs/HGs and bought practically everything that advertised itself as such. However, after one big disappointment, I kind of gave up on it… Mainly because I didn’t get the feeling that anybody cared. (I mean the feedback re: asexual/aromantic/ace-aro being three different things, that’s been around for ages, right?)
These days, I’m only checking out games with premises that sound enjoyable, and if I’m lucky enough that it also features a well-written ace romance, then that’s dope as hell.
Sure, nobody owes me an ace romance route, but if it’s literally in the game description, I don’t think it’s wrong to expect some sweet ace content.
As part of my personal resolution to do better with ace/aro options in my next project, I have a couple of questions I’d like to ask to players who prefer these routes. As ever, hugely grateful for any feedback and help you can give me.
A couple of people have already mentioned in this thread that they might prefer an ace/aro route in general but appreciate the opportunity to “opt back in” to romantic and/or sexual encounters later in the game if they feel comfortable doing so. How many people would appreciate this and how often would they appreciate being asked? I can see how it would be nice to have this option kept open but equally I can see how frustrating it could be to have said, for example, that you don’t want sexual encounters only to find the author is constantly asking “Are you sure you don’t want to sleep with him?”!
For the next game I’m (hopefully) writing, there will be a plot point which hinges on the player having accidentally witnessed a sexual encounter between NPCs. I think it’s more powerful in context if this is relatively explicit but there’s also no reason why it couldn’t be toned down. My question is: do players who prefer not to experience sexual encounters involving the MC also prefer to avoid graphic sexual content in general? That seems like a bold and unecessary assumption to make but I’d like to be sure. Is it worth including two separate choices at the game’s start - “Are you open to sexual encounters involving the MC?” and “Would you like to turn off all explicit content?”
For your first question: Something that I think could work during it is that during the first encounter in which this question could pop up, ace MCs could have a few different options.
1- Stating that the player is not interested and never will be, which would stop this question from popping up again.
2- Having the player agree with it right away.
3- A choice for the player to not act at the moment but state that they are open to it in the future, in which case the question would continue to pop up.
I think with choices like these, you could easily cover most ace players, specially since with the choices, the player knows what the question about having sex will continue to come up only if they choose so.
For your second question, I can only speak for myself, but I am not bothered by sexual content at all, I do think, however, that having the option to turn off explicit content is a good call
If I am forced to witness a sexual encounter between NPCs. That I need to be in a triggering warning. Because I have no interest in being a voyeur or a degenerate and I would personally feel really bad if I am in a Cog or a Hosted forced to be one.
If it were a novel, however, I don’t have so much problem due is not my character. But. sincerely, I don’t find cool fetishes like voyeurism. But I like normal sexual content chosen and optional of the player character.
I would feel so uncomfortable that To keep playing I need a choice killing the npc. If they are not murdered, I will not enjoy the game or my immersion is more complex.
Edit: Another thing is just having at the beginning a on-off for scenes that involve PC or involved Npc. So players who don’t want read npcs intercourse could just skip it.
I think killing because NOPE! Is already immersion breaking. Most sane people would simply turn right around red as a tomato and never speak of it again.
It depends, I don’t want to have to deal with the Npcs and Embarrassing and all that I read games to enjoy the content. So I literally will choose whatever that Kills of the shaming and all the embarrassment due is a content is triggering and no something I want to read.
@Fujcog Thank you! That’s super helpful and matches up with what I’d hoped would largely be the case.
@poison_mara I’ll take that as a definite need for a trigger warning! Although, as @Fujcog guessed, in this specific instance it wouldn’t really be voyeurism. The scenario I have in mind is that the player is a private detective who accidentally sees a sexual encounter involving a person they are observing in hopes of gathering evidence of criminal activity. Perhaps I could offer something like the option to immediately turn away as soon as there’ s an indication that sexual activity might be about to take place?
I would appreciate it cause something might happen from the time I selected the Ace/Aro option and the time I find something interesting out about the NPC that changes my perspective on them.*
Granted, I also like it if the game doesn’t prompt me with “do you like men, women, etc.?” and just gives me the NPCs and allows me to make up my own mind when to flirt with them So… take that previous paragraph with a grain of salt
After that revelation I’d like to get to know them better but this change isn’t purely motivated by romantic interest (i.e. sleep with them) but rather to explore this new perception of a character I hadn’t known previously.
So… I don’t necessarily “opt back into” a relationship because I want the romantic or sexual encounters, but because the creator usually - but not always! - locks the opportunity to explore the NPC in more depth behind the romance door.
Hmmm. Maybe if you didn’t want the immersion breaking question at the beginning of your game, you could do an alternative like the MC hears about this risqué encounter second hand in the game itself?
Granted, I don’t have the context of the game itself but here’s an in-game and hopefully not immersion breaking prompt to determine if you witness this or note.
Let’s say the MC is a detective then the player can be given the choice to either watch or not watch a recounting of the scene from surveillance footage. If they say ‘let’s see the footage’ then the scene rolls as explicit content or they can ask the surveillance team for a less explicit rundown of what happened. Just my spur of the moment idea.
This is a really good point. I think there can be a tendency to treat aro/ace routes as just the same but minus certain content and, as you say, cutting out romantic scenes can often mean also cutting any character development that might have occurred during those scenes. I’m keen to avoid that.
Yes, I agree with this. I think there should always be subtler ways of allowing the player agency within each given situation. Like you, I think asking up-front, when you’re already loading the player with questions about their gender and sexuality, seems a bit heavy-handed.
Usually pillow talk is used as a narrative to reveal a character’s backstory or offer some more insight (i.e. Game of Thrones and it’s “sexposition”), so I don’t see why it can’t be used in Ace/Aro relationships but personalized for the respective routes.
I can easily see an NPC revealing something to their partner in both paths while the NPC and the MC are doing the dishes or something as equally mundane. MC says something wrong and the NPC might clatter a plate with a bit more force than necessary or something as a way of showing their displeasure or discomfort.
There’s quite a few things I want to say in this topic but they require a lot of unpacking, so for now I’m just going to +1 this lovely comment and add this : it’s also fairly for me when all the active options in the ‘set the flirt’ flag sections are all of the Super Forwardly Physical variety. I’ve had to settle for the shy options pretty much all the time to have any semblance of anything I can identify with, and…being ace isn’t really the same as being all blushing and wibbling, either. Most of those are also physical in their own way. It’s just closer than the ‘hey hottie, you’re hot’ sort of options.
TBH I never really understood how integral physicality is to normal people romance until I read the threads about authors writing them and people giving feedback on them and the rather intense focus on them when it comes to choices. It’s a bit of an eye-opener, and it’s not as if I haven’t been around.
Tell me about it. I was 21 before I realised that physical attraction was something people actually felt and not just something books and movies exgarrereted for drama.
I for my part rarely pick the ace options on games. I want to, but I fear losing out and I fear a’realistic’ approach when it comes to dating an allo. I don’t want to put my mcs through the Todd-situations. It is too realistic and not something I want to deal with as I fear it will trigger another breakdown on me.
One thing I’m working on implementing is alternative ace/demi romance pathways in my current work (will probably be put in once the first draft is done). And . . . It’s really hard! For example, any gender that is attracted to men can be written to have the same options (noting what they find physically attractive/sexually desirable). So I can use the same answers for straight women/gay men/bisexuals/etc. Whereas for asexuals and demis, romantic connection is completely different. It’s a lot of new writing and coding separate pathways. It’s important to me because of my personal orientation, but I definitely get why most authors skip it
I also get why authors skip it…it’s a lot of work (entirely new descriptions and choices and romantic scenes) for too little gain. Probably coding hell, too. But man, it does feel jarring that it’s always either ‘hey thar sexy’ or ‘oh um swooning under the sultriness’. I know that it’s not jarring to allosexuals, but it’s been this many years since I had my ‘wait those people who stare at each other in movies didn’t want to murder each other, they wanted to fuck???’ moment and I still have a lot of trouble wrapping my head around it, lol.
Perhaps you already know this, but I’ll put it out there just in case. There are other options besides making the MC sexually attracted to the ROs. For example, some asexual people, myself included, don’t really experience sexual attraction, but do experience aesthetic attraction.
The difference is that with sexual attraction there is an actual desire to have sex with the person, but with aesthetic attraction it’s just admiring how good looking the person is without really wanting to have sex with them. So maybe an easier way to code the ace/demi routes would be to have the MC experience aesthetic attraction and think “wow they’re really good looking” but make it clear that there’s no sexual attraction going on.
(I mean the feedback re: asexual/aromantic/ace-aro being three different things, that’s been around for ages, right?)
Although, as 
for me when all the active options in the ‘set the flirt’ flag sections are all of the Super Forwardly Physical variety. I’ve had to settle for the shy options pretty much all the time to have any semblance of anything I can identify with, and…being ace isn’t really the same as being all blushing and wibbling, either. Most of those are also physical in their own way. It’s just closer than the ‘hey hottie, you’re hot’ sort of options.