A SHRIEK OF ASH AND FIRE 1(WIP) [approx 150K UPDATE, 1.14 Million TOTAL-22nd June 2025] (1.22 Million on Patreon)

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Now this is a great plot point! Although the peasants here would be more oily engineers who wave spanners and not pitchforks. Alas, our young MC does not get to mingle with the nobles unless they are on the upper decks. They only have a few months onboard until things get all revolutionary.

But, they can become a minion of a cruel noble- one of a pair of twins.

However, @Lucha_Markre, I do have a future plot point where our MC may indeed get a chance to romance a noble to support whatever our MC’s cause is, though this will not be on the crawler and will be a possibility at the beginning of Book 2 (the final book- if things go to plan).

Although you can get close to- but not as close as that yet- to a siren, a virtual noble from a faraway undersea republic. She can aid you against the royalists.

So, a few options, but I can’t quite match that request. Yet…

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Hello @NumberedEntity, maybe in the future, depending if you want to make this now or as a future DLC, can you adopt my same completionist achievement, boss battle, and reward I made in the An Unexpectedly Green Journey, I need to come up with a different final boss for achieving all of the paths the MC has took. Maybe not in Book 1, that is too early for that, but maybe Book 2. The dialogue I wrote should give you an idea of what to think

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Hi, @Patrick_Cody02,

You mean to use that boss idea in this game, rather than Green?

Here, events are more carefully planned out. I can’t really add in a ‘boss’ out of the blue for sheer consistency, at least not one which has not already been alluded to in the text. For book 2, we shall see.

BUT, Green is a far more likely place to find something like this, due to its sandboxy nature and the ageing mechanic.

For Book 1, here, I now want to focus on getting to the end and correcting errors and inconsistencies along the way, rather than adding unplanned stuff. Let us get to within sight of the finish line!

In a month or so, I should be able to move onto the Brakka Path. After this, we have the concluding segments of the game. Need to lock in and keep focus. The end is near, but still far away enough to make me doubt I’ll ever get there, lol.

It does look likely that I may make a small DLC for Green after this, rather than jump straight into Book 2, to get a break from ‘epic-sized’ things.

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Lemme just say this is an awesome game not perfect but amazing. I currently have only tried the nagarese path and it’s amazing, Zuan is a very intriguing character with his his unknown and dubious motivations, the snake magic, culture is a nice touch Which creates an eerie feel to the nation, I especially liked the unique magic of the academy and learning it especially the name and Interactions you get from it. The other characters like zini were good too I especially liked that intimate scene at the end it was super hot. Now a few gripes the combat at the outpost? Fighting a few of those outlaws right after zuan found you, was kinda confusing I could never figure it out. And it feels a bit too mechanics heavy at times maybe add a few scenes of interaction with your soldiers maybe the goblins/dwarfs you recruited are fussing and use some of your skills to calm them down or some other scene in between to show a bit more of the world cause right now it’s go fight after build some more vehicles then fight again. So some scenes in the middle could help make everything feel more alive and less monotonous. Oh and also what happened to shiv? He barely does anything here make him train in that martial art Nada something and show him maybe doing something.

Other than that You’re doing a good job, cranking out words like this with such quality

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@Coy_Cok

Hi, mate,

Great feedback.

I really like your suggestions. The whole political situation is becoming a mess and you start as small fry knowing little but are being dragged in at an increasingly deeper level and forced to make the best of it, but this shouldn’t detract from a player’s immersion. The moment is ripe, with the breakdown of the political situation, for the Nagarese to make a claim to a larger part of Zthullu by using the Road Fleet. As we find out, it doesn’t go that way for the Nagarese.

I am going to cut and paste your post and add it to my notes. Some of this I will almost certainly use to flesh out some scenes/the world when I make a final pass after getting it all down. Some things are a matter of not letting the game get too complex, which I am being very strict about now. We have crossed the moment when completion is becoming more important than perfection just for me to remain sane!

Other things that are an easier to add, which will improve the player’s enjoyment, are always welcome. It is true Shiv has got a bit lost in the ashy weeds! He isn’t our MCs biggest fan- but if our MC keeps wondering what’s happening to him, I probably should provide a few more answers! Having a few more scenes between encounters, for the Road Fleet, is a wonderful idea. That section is quite complex, but I can see what I can do when I pass back over it.

Haha- thanks for appreciating the intimate scene. Only written a few scenes like that before in conventional short stories and I know many HGers and CoGers are finely tuned to critique and/or enjoy them. I think the most ‘extreme’ scene like that involved the Evagrey twins, either the brother or the sister, (NOT both) if our MC becomes a Dispatcher and a minion. Gets a bit ‘fantasy’ BDSM. Since this is not a game focused on ROs, although they have become a bit more important than I intended, every route has different options. In the crawler paths, we always have Sera. Depending on other choices, we may get unique rebel, royal or Basilisk options. I am trying to make the game something worth a few playthroughs for those who like it. To get the full picture of the lore, we would need to go on different paths and view it from different angels- or that is what I vainly hope!

Really appreciate this. Thanks for giving my game a go and adding valuable feedback.

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I mean use the same idea in both games. An Unexpectedly Green Journey is still a good game to add in the completionist boss DLC. I am talking about using the same idea.

Please don’t discard the Completionist Boss DLC Idea for An Unexpectedly Green Journey. At least consider it, I know you have a lot to do, so I have time. I liked developing ideas there

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With Book 2 of Ash and Fire, or a Green DLC, these are things worth considering. Book 1 is more locked in now, smaller changes I can make but I have to be strict with adding any new, larger elements.

I can’t make promises- but, it is an exciting idea, especially for Green. It could fit very well into certain DLC paths, expanded adventuring or Thieves Guild for two.

Mate, I’m always happy to hear your ideas. You’ve been here since the early days of Green and I consider you a big part of it. Even if ideas are not used, this doesn’t negate the value of them. And from some ideas, others spring.

I can’t lock myself in before I know where I am going. Right now, I think some type of ‘boss’ would be very fitting for a Green DLC, particularly as the DLC will split from the main game, allowing me to not worry about breaking things.

Maybe the biggest boss of all should be in the third main game? Haha, but I can’t twist my brain thinking about that one too much now.

EDIT:

QUICK NOTE- From now on, it is actually a good time to throw in suggestions for scenes to offer immersion and clarity. This way I can build up notes for the post-first-draft-completion edit before I send the game away to the good folks in the HG bunker. While I cannot guarantee a suggested inclusion/edit I will never dismiss the value of a player’s insight. You can post these suggestions here, or DM if you prefer, message me on Tumblr or on my patreon.

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Umm guys what’s going on what happened. First of all I told this creepy shadow dude to piss off during my etherener run. Now during the meeting with the water spirit lady I told her she doesn’t need to be evil, she told me hates me. Now later she’s lying on vin’s shoulder and caressing some dude what the hell?. Man my dwarf zini would never do this to me

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Lol! Is this Sera?

She gets corrupted by a shadowy influence and tries to piss you off if you don’t go along with it. She feels lonely, abandoned and is being promised things. She may not always feel like this.

The corruption is explained later- not sure if this is up on the HG Forum build yet, it might be the next pending update.

Someone you met in your previous run is responsible.

EDIT: I think, if I remember correctly, she is annoyed if you only want to be friends with her.

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Okay, that makes sense my mind is still messed up though ( in a good way I believe a good story should do this sometimes), It doesn’t matter how much she tries to piss me off I ain’t letting some creepy tentacle in me, girl you crazy. And I’ve been misspelling the dwarfs name it’s Tinnafri (amazing loyal character) and also I’ve dipped a bit into the being a minion of lady evagrey. The scenes with her are very good blend of arousing with revulsion, her powers are quite cool too but I didn’t finish it as I was exploring other paths. If it’s not overwhelming some codex would be helpful I get confused with which stats does what, and the races too I like rereading the world building aspects maybe with the types of magic/technology widely used and yeah once more screw you sera!

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WARNING: Too much text!

I must say, Tinnafri is perhaps the most good-hearted one there is. Sera is overwhelmed, though by her nature is not necessarily evil.

A codex is a brilliant idea to help a player reference things on the go. I have tried to ensure that most checks look at stats and any skills you have picked up. Your class matters too, sometimes your race. A few characters may act differently toward you based on gender, though this is rare in this world.

For example, to pass an intimidation/strength check, the game will look at your toughness. However, if you are a rough knuckle or an ash marines, this will usually pass too. If you have the trait/skill ‘thug’ or ‘mma’ this can also pass. While I don’t think a true build (not my tester starts, they are unrealistically high just to speed testing) could ever be a jack of all trades, you can cover a few different bases with a single character.

A ‘charm’ test will use the charm stat, or the class ‘charmer’ or dispatch. Sometimes, if you have the trait ‘fair’ (handsome/beautiful), this will be enough depending on who you deal with.

My first game, Green, has a lot of fail states where you just die. I have tried to limit this- it is harder to die here, to try and keep the player in the game.

But, CODEX

Races
Stats

If you can think of anything else, let me know. This is something I would like to add- a limited codex though, tackling the most helpful things.

If you are interested, you could peek the free demo of An Unexpectedly Green Journey to see the state of the world way back, before the orc empire. You can just pop in, look at the lore snippets, and go without playing it, for a bit of context (although the demo section is pretty long if you were bored and wanted a free wander). My intention, though, is that someone can play Ash and Fire without playing Green. This is set many centuries after, a different type of game with a different tone.

An Unexpectedly Green Journey

(Click immediately on Stats and then the option ‘Take a gander at the world…’)

I do have loads of lore things on patreon and have to be careful that I don’t make the game too confusing for those who don’t see it. It could be worthwhile releasing the game with a lore pack, don’t know how that would work on mobile. Perhaps I could include the player-helpful codex and then have a non-playable DLC for like 0.99p with lots of the other lore? I would do it for free, but I think that would be unfair to my paying patreons, though I can ask. Maybe HG wouldn’t do something like that anyway.

But, yes, big thanks! For me, that you enjoy your time playing/exploring is the main thing I hope for.

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I I’m pretty sure that’s Zuan’s fault or at least it has something to do with it, or at least his queen has something to do with it, either way it’s kind of weird that when you acquire the powers and magic of the snakes you’re shown a vision that gives you a little clue that they’re the ones responsible for Sera’s corruption and it’s weird, they’re the masters of those arts so why the hell when you acquire their same powers the visions are trying to expose them? Does this kind of magic come from some kind of deity? Because if so that could mean that whatever the source behind this magic is isn’t too happy with some of the things the queen or Zune are doing but its just my theory

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Good insight. Very good insight!

I don’t want to give too much away, but I probably will! It is complicated, and Zuan is duplicitous with everything he says. But he is a very powerful mage.

I will do a little lore dump, piecing a few bits together which are hinted at in the game already, though spread around and not yet fully explained, as I have a Book 2 to do to finish our story.

Zthullu is abundant with ancient, corrupted magic. The corruption is a living, breathing entity in its own right, but others may be able to interfere with it.

Zuan and the Nagarese, their society never truly industrialising, kept their magical traditions, although their magic dares to tempt Ethereal and Abyssal forces (both creation/good and destruction/bad). Their type of magic is particularly effective in Zthullu, a place of failed creation.

Zuan is looking for someone to fulfil a prophecy, to prove themselves as a powerful, capable guard, which will allow his Empress to gain control of the Absent Throne, the fourth throne of the Abyss, which sits empty. Legend has it that, if the demons of the Abyss ever rule with one on each throne, great power will be made available to them. However, their squabbling has yet to allow them to find 4 to rule together. (In an Unexpectedly Green Journey, in the Dark Path, you can become the fourth on the thrones.)

Also- can anyone ever be certain what awaits them on the thrones of demons…

Since the Viper Empress is a mortal, she would need something to guard her against the other demons, at least for a while, until she’s made herself nice and comfy. The Nagarese believe they can use both Ethereal and Abyssal magic to bring a balance to the world, but in their favour, and that they, above all, could wield such power.

Again, though, Zuan is duplicitous with everything he says. He wants to make an outsider the Abhidhar of Zthullu, make our MC a walking nuke! A blessing, a curse, a sacrifice?

Also… the Scorned Elves have an interest in the Absent Throne, and they move through the magic of Zthullu too. We can wonder that, after splitting from their forest cousins and turning their backs on tradition, on the forest and nature, which deity-things might be willing to patronise them now?

In a player-helpful codex, maybe including a few ‘legends’ will help guide people along. Although I don’t want to be too spoilerish.

Most of this comes out if the MC is a mage-type who goes to New Yeirshee. Otherwise, someone else becomes favoured for the role of Abhidhar.

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I find it quite funny how this guy seriously thinks he’s doing a good job at his role as an undercover spy and villain when it’s so obvious he’s up to something dark, if the protagonist gets the power of the snakes for himself he lets a bit more of his true personality show of course but even when you don’t do, this guy is being so obvious with his plans to turn the new free country into a puppet state that I can’t help but laugh at how poorly he hides his intentions, anyway, like I said before, the magic in this story works in a very curious way and I love that, this is even more obvious if you manage to control the snake magic or the dark magic that Sera uses, more than just tools the magic feels more or less… alive, like it has a life of its own in some way, I don’t know if I’m explaining myself well, again, that vision you have if you manage to master the power of the snakes is quite intriguing, if that magic was a simple force of nature or a tool that could be controlled at will I don’t think the MC would have had these visions but even so, he had them, Zuan is powerful and it is clear that he is a master at using snake magic but even so this same magic decided to give the MC a vision to try to subtly warn him that Zuan and the queen are not trustworthy and that he should not use his new gift to help either of them, again, it is as if this magic somehow had a mind of its own and was not happy with how Zuan is using it for such dark purposes, because although snake magic seems dangerous to me it does not seem to me to be as evil as what Zuan and his queen are trying to release, that is what makes me think that snake magic does not serve either Zuan or the queen but rather something else, some kind of entity, whatever it may be, it is just a theory so I do not know how true it is, even so the idea seems intriguing to me, we will see what happens I guess, the only thing I know is that the protagonist should try to get someone to spy on Zuan, maybe start to sabotage his plans without him noticing so that when he inevitably betrays us we can avoid the stab in the back, knowing that he’s going to betray us maybe it would be better to betray him first or so I think, not right now since the free country is still very weak but in the near future, by the way, ¿the MC who has the power of the snakes is more powerful than Zuan? no, I’m not talking about experience and knowledge of how to use that magic, I’m sure we can’t surpass Zuan in that, I’m talking about pure power

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I really enjoy the way you think about it all! You hit the mark with lots of it, too. Some things are still not completely decided, particularly certain plot elements that pass into Book 2. Stuff can change. New ideas might hit me. Old ideas might reemerge. I have directions of travel, but the exact route may vary.

I think Zuan is somewhat conflicted- he may have multiple influences pulling at him and has woven himself in knots. Like many, he might think he is doing the right thing, but is prepared to sacrifice others to enact it. He is also a Free Agent, a figure who is used to being treated with respect and having doors opened for him by virtue of his position. His greatest flaws are pride and underestimating the abilities of others (like your MC!). This is because, when push comes to shove, he is very secure in his own abilities; he is more than a capable mage and isn’t a coward.

Tinnafri is almost opposite to him, very earnest in her intentions, always looking for the best in people when she first meets them, rough and ready without a concern for social graces. Her quest is to realise a dream of a free land without the historical baggage of Behatland, based on sheer idealism. She is reluctant to accept that sacrifices will have to be made. At least at first.

You describe it well, the ‘living’ quality of Zthullan magic. It is a magic left over from the Ages of Creation, when the gods used dragons to shape geography, although in Zthullu the dragons were, more or less, great serpents. (Which we can sometimes see in visions, and which the ash serpent is a ‘ghost’ of).

Zthullu itself is primed with magic, distorting perceptions, nagging at doubts. But, it can be a conduit for those skilled with magic too, perhaps like Zuan, the Viper Empress- maybe even our MC. But others are infesting it, others which has been there several centuries longer than the nations of Behatland. The deck of cards, if you will, has already been shuffled and stacked, and someone has a good guess at the hands others may play. As a true ally, back in Behatland, he would be formidable with his knowledge and connections, though his magic would be far less powerful there, as would all magic.

The Abhidhar power is immense- but is it really the MC’s to control? If it truly was, I think few could stand against them. It does leave the MC physically weak afterwards. It might be doing some long-term damage…

BTW- if you are not a mage on the Road Pirate route, you get a mechanical arm, a choice between three versions, which gives the MC a few abilities.

Zuan’s fate will depend much on our MC’s choices. There is also a chance that he may have developed a true kernel of feelings for our MC. For a man like Zuan, this is rare. His vanity would not let him forgo the most precious of jewels. But he could also see you as a pawn. If you are not the Abhidhar, and worse, if not able to use magic at all, he is contemptuous.

When things come together, I hope it is satisfying. Right now, I can build up anticipation and leave bread crumbs along the way.

Cheers!

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I will definitely check out this orc game of yours I’ve heard of it, but I was initially sceptical because apparently orcs reproduce asexually?, and I was wondering how that might work since a lot of the times when going through an IF I’m motivated a lot by the ROs. This is why in particular Sera has my gears grinding (again not in a particularly bad way). I wonder if ever she goes back to normal what reasoning she’s going to give to me, my best friend and now my lover, and because I say “hey I’m with you forever but this creepy shadow doesn’t seem to have the best intentions for us” and she goes crazy I’m not gonna take oh it’s the the corruption affecting her Man I’m your best friend you’re gonna believe some ghost over your friend of many years?, NE, you better have a satisfying scene where we either talk this out or we fight it out.

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You can check the Orc game just to see the Map for the ancient lore. The free demo is also quite lengthy, featuring over 200k of content, but it’s set in a sandbox world, so you may not see all of it, especially after the baby and child segments.

Of course, I’d be delighted if you played it and liked it, but it is a very different game and doesn’t have any ROs. My Orcs are not romantic in the slightest; they eat, fight, and have their mates. Kill their mates. Laugh at stupid things. Laugh while killing their mates. Die. Sometimes, their ashes sprout baborcs, cabbage things from where little orcs emerge. They are brutish, smelly and lots of fun. But, alas, not everyone’s mug of grog.

Along the way, they might conquer the world.

I must disappoint you, mate. The last Sera reconciliation moment comes during the bits I am currently writing. I’m also trying to remember if Sera is madder at you for not joining her when you are an Etherneer. I’ll have to check. I can’t remember, but I imagine myself having the thought process, ‘you are there with her when it was easier, in her mind, for you to join her, than if you were on another deck.’ And this makes her resent you more. You can usually be a non-romantic friend, a lover, or hater.

If she is non-corrupted, she will be sad at first, but she accepts that being your friend is ok. There are different variables and scenes for her corrupted ro and non-corrupted ro. Corrupted gets the shadows involved, too.

However, if Sera becomes a sworn enemy, I have ideas planned for book 2. That will not be resolved. here. Whatever she feels for our MC at the end of Book 1 will carry through.

Actually, I think I had 2 Sera reconciliation moments. You have given me a brain worm! I will check some of the Sera code tomorrow. The shadow is manipulating her- it can do it all the time. It becomes addictive. It might be worse if you are an etherneer.

ROs have been a bigger thing than I intended, although I haven’t developed the game with ROs in mind, if you know what I mean. I wanted a big sweeping adventure, with a chance to RO if you wanted. On a pure RO level, I am not trying to match the many CoG and HG games which focus on these things as integral. There may be situations where you do not get an RO, at least not in Book 1. I never force an RO state; therefore, the game will accept a situation where you are just a happy-go-lucky young man/woman hanging out and doing things on some massive city-tank in the wasteland. But, in truth, it is a more interesting playthrough to take one of the ros, though not all are equal.

Gibletti, the chief swab goblin, gets… very rough, over-the-top, comical scenes. She is probably my favourite because… it is just ridiculous. The scenes are dumb, cringey, awful and funny. But I have a very basic sense of humour- I like orcs after all. They are not romantic… and leave the MC feeling grubby afterwards. Violated even. But, perhaps oddly curious to go back… Or run away and never tell anybody about it. Although Gibletti is as promiscuous as they come and might take a shine to our MC, she isn’t a true love type.

I’m just about to sleep, so I need to banish brain worms until tomorrow. I will check the Sera stuff so I can be sure I am giving you the correct info.

Cheers, mate!

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