I just got Goosebumps bruh
1 Like
the inconsistency between first and third person is making my brain hurt.
âSlowly, you push myself up, scanning your surroundings.â
it should either be
i push myself up, or
you push yourself up.
this is just one example out of the whole thing. other than tho im loving it.
2 Likes
Thereâs a recurring issue with pronouns. For starters, you seem to be waffling between first and second person, alternating between âyouâ and âIâ frequently. But even characters are sometimes using the wrong pronouns (the ghost you meet at the start says âyou will never be at peace untilâŚâ even though context makes it clear it should be âI will never be at peace untilâŚâ
Iâm enjoying it otherwise so far, but you should try to pay attention to that when writing and editting a bit more. Itâs pretty distracting.
3 Likes
Update
Ive finished the side questlines. you can play all of them to determine which one you like because the next update into camelot and eventually salek, you will only choose one.
The side questlines will alter salek wheras just choosing camelot, youâll have a canon salek.
in short, the next update is salek.
6 Likes
Did something happen to the demo? Why canât I progress from when the Mc wakes up?
Lol welp, couldnât wake up so you cant go further
What?
Demo works from start to end. So its on your end.
No he is right, the skip ahead function shows you stuff after the MC wakes up. But if you attempt to play from the start it ends when they get told to wake upâŚI would like to apologize for my earlier outburst XD. Tho tbf it could have been done differently to avoid confusion
Just select play again.
I was looking at wild hunt origins, and the character creator options to make a human character are extremely racist.
20 Likes
Wait, THE FUCK, you are right. Being Light skinned gives you the trait âIntellectual Superiorityâ and being dark skinned gives you the trait âSuperior Physiqueâ and âPain Toleranceâ (and mental fortitude but I donât think thatâs racist)
17 Likes
âŚjesus. not much ambiguity there
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âŚAgreed. Jesus fuck what is this?
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âI made every race as realistic as possibleâ
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You.. donât think racism is a big deal? I really donât believe this is the defense you think it is.
You made up a magic system and a multitude of other races. You very easily could have just made up sub-races for humans??? The fact that you went a step further to say that theyâre treated with suspicion at court is just so blatantly racist I donât understand how you could try to defend that.
19 Likes
In a fictional world? No its not.
Iâm so flabbergasted that I sat here for awhile staring at the page trying to put together how to respond⌠But in the case that you genuinely donât understand the issue here:
You can write a story that includes themes of racism if you do it correctly. The problem is in the subtext of what youâve written: a human race divided into light skin âintellectually superiorâ and trusted people vs dark skinned people with âsuperior physiqueâ who are mistrusted.
It should be easy to make up unique sub-races for humans instead of merely comparing skin tones and by not doing so it reads like youâre commenting your own racist thoughts through your story.
19 Likes
Look, I dont think its a big deal.
Itâs a pretty big deal when you attach actual racial stereotypes to your gameâs mechanics. Stuff like âIntellectual Superiorityâ being tied to light-skinned people and âSuperior Physiqueâ to dark-skinned people is literally white supremacist pseudoscience.
And since every other race has their subs, it would be racists to have only human with no sub.
Itâs less about humans having subraces and more about how you designed these subraces. You could have had human subraces based on geography or culture or background. Literally anything other than skin color. But you didnât. You chose real-world racial coding and leaned into harmful dated stereotypes.
i mean you need high intellect to use most magic, thats not new.
The problem is that you tied âHigh Intellectâ with light-skinned humans. You couldâve said âthis culture values its scholars,â but instead, you made it biological and racial.
In a fictional world? No its not.
Fiction matters. Having all of this in your game makes it seem like youâre reinforcing harmful ideas and telling your players that these racial dynamics are not only acceptable, but mechanically âtrue.â Itâs one thing to write racist characters or societies, so long as you challenge or critique it, but itâs another thing to hardcode racist ideology into the rules of your game.
23 Likes
Bro is straight up using deep south Klan talking points in his wip 
Mods if yall allow this, then it paints this company in a very poor light
11 Likes