For the questions, yes, I did find out who outed my mc…a pity we weren’t able to hurt them more actually. But what is even worse is that the whole outing the mc in a particularly truamatic fashion happens again, as second time, courtesy of the grandparents.
After all the mc was sent to live with them because of a traumatic outing, not because he wants to experiment with his sexuality on a fun GAP year. If that was the goal there are numerous options these days to broadcast your orientation to the world through social media like Instagram TikTok or for the really bold, Grindr.
I mean my mc wanted to go to college…not start a minimum wage “career” in fast-food, particularly since he had an athletic scholarship that is probably gone now, even if he could re-apply next year the scholarship will be gone and that is if he even has his highschool diploma now.
I don’t hold this against the story too much because this is necessary to get the mc to the plot, but I will note that in this regard an athletic scholarship is not equal to an academic or performing arts one. Missing out on a year in the prime of his life would hurt an athlete far more than an actor or a scholar, even if by some minor miracle the mc could get another full-ride scholarship to a decent university again.
Plot-wise I particularly hated that my mc was dragged to that cafe with Mila’s girlfriend to get an impromptu sex talk he neither wants nor needs and a forced second and publicly humiliating outing to the ro’s. Sure makes my mc re-live the trauma of the first outing all over again.
The talk is unnecessary and patronizing to the mc. My mc already knows what gay means and how sex is done, he does not need the gay version of the birds and bees talk and certainly not from a complete stranger he just met at that.
I really wanted my mc to go at his own pace with the ro’s and tell them, at least officially, when he’s ready to tell them himself at a point a bit later in the relationship. Right now Nathen is just a fun surfing buddy to my mc…even if he does find the boy super attractive. But that does not mean that, coming from the place, literally and figuratively where the mc comes from my mc is ready to go and act like a couple in public, for all the world to see (odds are a guy like Nathen is quite active on social media and my mc is not ready to show up in his feed as boyfriend just quite yet) or say the :L word after one or two get-togethers that don’t even really qualify as proper dates.
Here, again, the forced second outing robs the already vulnerable mc of the agency to let the guy he might fancy know at a time of his choosing and gives the relationship a sexual dimension way too soon for my poor traumatized mc.
Pardon the pun but my mc would have wanted to actually befriend the guys first before it was strongly implied that he’s an available piece of ass in a way that encourages the guys to pursue him in ways other than friendship now. If my mc wanted to be Grindr sex buddies he could have just gone ahead and made a profile for that, except that his mental state is obviously very much not ready to go there yet.
Lastly, and this is probably advice for the future when you are closer to publishing, this game could benefit from an overhaul by an editor in the future. I would hate to see a potentially good coming out story, minus the one really problematic scene be diminished by a raft of grammar and spelling issues.
Yeah to be honest, I was considering an overhaul on the cafe scene part, This was not how I pictured at first but I my mind was prioritizing coherency and wanting to introduce Ray as the main point at the cafe, but the guys were truly supposed to reveal their sexual orientation at that scene, and I was supposed to give mc the Choice to come out or not to them
While I was writing the cafe, that was the time, I was having a brain drain and catching up with my college work but as my semester is about to end, I’ll probably do an overhaul on this part while, I work in chapter 5.
Thank you for telling me this and I did not picture this part, The college scholarship choice part was supposed to only help the MC gives stats. I should have probably made a better choice than use college. My intention was to hit two birds with one stone, the skill stats and get the ball rolling to leave town. I’m not sure about rewriting this part of the story, but since this is a fictional BL coming out novel story, I’m sure a miracle will happen or could be done in the end.
Listen, I may not be able to follow the update schedule of four months this time and may have to delay chapter 5 due to college sem now starting early but expect an update on Dec 29 for chapter 5. The first anniversary of posting my demo story here in this forum. I’ll probably be finished chapter 5 by then. Or I could also finished early on late November. Which ever comes first I guess.
But thanks for your patience and hope you guys continue reading my work.
Guys as I said and promise that there would be update on Dec 29. I am sorry that I may not be able to update today. My College thesis is taking a lot of my time and Im in an emotional rollercoaster this entire Christmas. So for now chapter 5 will be delayed again and can’t say when but soon I hope. Im also conflicting with myself on where to end chapter 5 and looking at my storyboard right to fix the plot and process of the story.
Chapter 5 is taking a long time compared to other chapters due the new coding I’m learning and how to make the story coherent. So there’s been many setbacks and fixing with the code.
The only good news is that chapter 5 is 55% complete. Thank you for your understanding.
Did you think this WiP was dead? Well I thought it was, LOL.
Anyway, Chapter 5 is done and can be access in the Demo, Chapter 6 is currently in progress. Chapter 5 was intentionally long but it was super to long so I had to move some of it to Chapter 6. The play through of Chapter 5 is not that long but has many routes to explore so hope you enjoy this chapter. And give me feedback and tell me if there any errors in the play through since I haven’t check it fully in the demo yet.
Can’t wait to post chapter 6 and 7, there the climax of the story. Sorry it took this chapter long to finish, busy with academics as my final year. New fan art face claim of the three ROs will be posted soon.
I played this game some time ago. And as someone with homophobic parents it had a big impact. I’m glad to see that there’s an update and I can’t wait until I am off work so that I can play. Thank you for writing this story.
I updated the face claims of the ROs, go check it out if you want and I’m making a poll if the title of my WiP should be change. The current title “BoysLove ALoha Beach” to be honest is to long for me and was only temporary from the start. I’m okay with my current title of my WiP but I don’t know… Do you guys think I should change it or keep as it is?
Change
Keep as it is
0voters
You guys can also give opinions on why I should change or keep as it is, if you want. I’ll close this poll once I’m finished with Chapter 6
hiii, I ususally don’t say anything here on the forum but I wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed the story! As much as it can be triggering for some people to read about homophobia I’m glad that you included it, and actually made it a big deal.
The story flows nicely, despite some grammar and spelling mistakes, but those are unavoidable. I however noticed a scene that was repeated: when the MC asks grandma Su about his mom and her relationship with her parents. This can be asked either when the Mc first meets her or at the beginning of chapter 5. My MC asked in both occasions but when he did so the second time grandma acted like it was the first time and gave the same answer that she gave last time. Besides that I didn’t notice any continuity issue, so good job!
Can’t wait to read more, and I hope everything goes well with your graduation. Take your time, we’re happy to wait:-).
(also…how curioius that you included a missionary house on the island map…a missionary house on such a small island, I wonder what purpose could that ever serve ;-D…)
Yeah I also saw after I played through the demo, and found out there was something wrong in the coding variable. I already fix it but I would probably update the fix scene after I’m done with chapter six.
I’m glad you notice the missionary house, and thanks for reading again.
Just want to announce that chapter 6 is almost finished but had to stop due final semester, Just want to share went to my first pride march and say a happy pride month for all my LGBT+ readers reading my WIP. Will post again when chapter 6 is done and came up with new title for my WIP.
Hi! I really like the story so far, the drawings make it more immersive!
So I’m the gay son of a pastor, huh?
And here I thought that “the pastor’s kid is always gay” was exclusive to us wlw, guess it’s a stereotypes that works for both of us!
When MC’s father asked if he’s gay, I felt that in bones and in my guts: you can’t say yes and yet, you can’t say no. I commend you, that was my favourite scene.
A few things:
-Grammar : there are some mistakes(like “your” instead of “you are” and such) and some typos.
-The first few paragraphs we are being hit with a lot of information: homelessness, grandparents MC has never met and the mom acting sus.
It felt like it was a bit sudden, I’m getting my feet wet with the story and BAM! Maybe it could be more gradual?
Thanks for reading. I know that most choice games are text-based and don’t usually include images or drawings. I decided to add drawings to my text-based game because I was inspired by “Way Walkers: University.”
Yeah, one of my favorite scenes is when I tried my best to make the reader feel like they’re the ones being asked if someone is gay. Being confronted creates a powerful mix of emotion and pressure. I remember feeling that when my Dad asked me, LOL.
Thank you, I’ll take note of that. It would be great if you could provide a screenshot of the scene so I can find it faster, but I’ll also keep an eye out for it.
No worries! I was attempting to include everything in the prologue, but I might change it to make it more concise after I finish everything. For now, the demo will remain unchanged. Except for adding new chapters and if there’s any broken code scene, some minor changes, but major changes will happen after I’m finished with the story overall.
Anyway thanks for giving a feedback, I really appreciate it chapter 6 will be posted soon, can’t say when because I don’t want to jinx it
As the author of this game, I wanted to let you all know that I have just uploaded Chapter 6 to the Demo and I hope you enjoy reading it! If you come across any issues or errors in the code, please let me know so that I can fix them. I have tested the game myself and have not found any problems, but your feedback is always appreciated.
In addition to adding new content, I have also updated some of the artwork and corrected some of the spelling and grammar errors in the previous chapters. I have decided to change the title of the game from “BoysLove AlohaBeach” to “Whispers Along the Waves” after careful consideration. I don’t know if you will find the new title cringey, but I kinda like it.
Note:
If you do find any inconsistencies in the story while playing, please let me know. I recently found an issue in the library scene of Chapter 5 where an option to continue reading the book where I left off was mistakenly available. I apologize for any confusion this may have caused.
Going forward, I will taking a short break before starting work on Chapter 7. I will be playing through the demo to look for any further issues or changes that may be needed. Please note that my updates may be slow due to personal reasons, but I will continue working on this project and plan to have Chapter 7 completed by Christmas . Ambitious of me, I know.
Lastly, I will be posting a survey to get your thoughts on the story, so please take the time to answer it. Thank you all for your support!
I’ve just finished playing my demo and noticed several grammar, spelling, scene, and code errors that I have since corrected. However, I anticipate that I may still come across similar issues as I continue to work on the story. I’m also conducting a poll survey for my current game to gather insights. Your feedback would be greatly appreciated.
1. Whom do you usually choose as your preferred Romance Option (RO)?
Skyller
Nathen
Kai
0voters
2. Who do you perceive more as a friend or a bro?
Skyller
Nathen
Kai
0voters
3. Who do you think has generic dialogue or lacks personality?
Skyller
Nathen
Kai
0voters
4. Can you follow where the story’s headed, or is the plot a bit confusing, or maybe even a little jumbled?"
“I see where it’s going, crystal clear!”
“A bit confusing at times, but intriguing.”
“I’m totally lost, it needs more clarity.”
“It’s a delightful mix of surprises!”
“I’m not sure yet, waiting to see.”
0voters
As for the other characters, any suggestions received from the next poll questions may be implemented in the last few chapters, specifically chapters 8 through 12.
5. Please choose at least three side characters you would like to see more of in future chapters or have more screen time.
Uncle Hal (Grandpa)
Grandma Su (Grandma)
Chi chi (Dog)
Ray (Cafe Owner)
Mika
Patrick (Mika’s Brother)
Crazy Frank (Diner Customer)
Karen (Karen Diner)
John (Manor House Keeper)
0voters
6. Which character would you like to see make a comeback? Even though they’ve already played their part, I can find a way to bring them back in a future chapter.
Homeless Bob
Mrs. Everly
Kevin (Resort staff)
0voters
Thank you if you take the time to answer the poll. I’m about to kick off Chapter 7 soon, just ironing out the storyline details after some revisions. Regarding question number 4, The story is heading somewhere. Chapter 7 will be the climax and the final chapter available in the demo. Chapters 8 to 12 will be kept private and only released for beta testing.
Note:
I’m also planning to create a Tumblr blog post for my work in progress in the near future. This poll will close once Chapter 7 is completed and added to the demo, thank you again
. Ambitious of me, I know.