I know, still thanks for the info.
Amazing game!
Very refreshing take on the secret order theme, not at all archaic and obscure (ehem Order of the Blue Rose ehem).
The premise reminds of another wonderful game here, Advanced Studies in Pattern Magic.
I do like the reluctance part, and admit that I was looking for more… Violent actions in response to being forced (I have an extremely negative response to people who don’t understand or care for consent - especially by individuals who think they’re doing what’s best for you, regardless if it’s true or not). I mean kidnappers (and rapists) deserve at least a punch in the face.
Solid start, hungrily waiting for more.
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Agreed. I was kinda hoping to be able to make unpleasant impromptu use of a screwdriver or something. Or at least fight a little harder and call the police.
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I love my little bird familiar, i just want to cuddle it~ I laughed out loud when i punched Elliot, i saw that option and though why not and then it actually landed i couldn’t keep it in 
I went more “tired if this shit” route first, but then decided to go more resistant route, because it is too fun to be a thorn to these people, who certainly seem to think highly of themselves, good luck dealing with my MC, cause they will make your life harder
@Ron_Faller @Malvastor Let’s not maybe go that far? What do you want exactly? Get a weapon? This is a story with a plot, and that plot need to move forward, if you want to resist that much, maybe that story is not for you?
13 Likes
Not exactly. But violent actions that should serve to showcase how independent (and badass) the character is, while simultaneously giving long-term consequences in how the Mc is treated and the actions they, as well as others, take.
Like for example, we drive a screwdriver in Elliot’s thighs (or eyes). It hurts him, the MC still gets in OFNA, but the other members are wary of him.
Another example, Yennefer in The Witcher committed suicide, but was saved by her mentor, and that led to a breakthrough in her being a powerful mage.
The violence should be there, given some Mc are trigger-happy fist fighters. Like the guy the Mc meets that decks Elliot across the face.
So if it should go that far in violent responses, it will still serve the story. Giving it more RP options.
1 Like
I understand the plot needs to move forward, and the player needs to- somehow- wind up with the cult. I have no problem with that, and I’m certainly not saying I think my character has to successfully escape. I’m perfectly fine with his attempts to fight back getting shut down hard.
At the same time though, in the path where you don’t go willingly you’re getting straight-up kidnapped. By people you don’t know anything about, with unknown and inexplicable abilities, who may possibly have something to do with your mother’s disappearance and/or death. We the readers know that our character isn’t about to be killed or worse, but our character does not. So it just feels like the intensity of resistance you can put up is a little less than the situation would warrant from the character’s point of view.
@Ron_Faller suggests letting the player do something a little more drastic to Elliot; I’d add, alternately, that Elliot could render the MC unconscious/immobile before they can do anything like that. That would leave the MC kidnapped and Elliot unharmed, but without the player feeling like they should have been allowed to do more. The MC would just be outclassed, not acquiescent.
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This.
It should be about the consequences it will inflict on character interactions. The plot will still move forward, but it will affect who the Mc’s friendly with and who they definitely want to kill one day.
With all due respect, I don’t think resorting to violence is a way to show how badass and independent a person is.
Elliot did ‘kidnap’ us but he didn’t use violence and the scenario mentioned above is nothing but assumption. Therefore I don’t think it’s necessary to resort to violence. If your goal is to show that MC is unwilling to join and that they don’t take the matter kindly, punching Elliot is more than enough to get the message across.
11 Likes
I totally agree with you. IRL this would not be the way to go.
But the Mc was being kidnapped. I’m not advocating violence IRL. My only point really is that, the Mc should do more, especially if his main skillset is athleticism.
Still kidnapping though. As @Malvastor pointed out, our Mc doesn’t know what’s going to happen. Just that an organization (that the Mc’s own Aunt, beloved or otherwise, warned them had something to do with their Parents’ disappearance) wants to get him.
Stabbing someone in the leg is not cool. But if you were being kidnapped, I feel that it’s an appropriate response. The fear, paranoia, and desperation can push you to do extreme things.
Alternatively, if the Mc is very trusting, then there shouldn’t be any problem at all. Since RP’ng that character would preclude that they already trust OFNA and would come without much fuss.
Anyway, cheers for your thoughtful reply!
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@Ron_Faller @Malvastor
This will be my last reply regarding this topic, i have no desire to engage in circular argument and make people and author uncomfortable. I seriously doubt there will be any “screwdriver in Elliot’s thighs”, “rendering the MC unconscious/immobile” or “stabbing someone in the leg” you are taking this too far, as @lynossa said, punching Elliot is more than enough to get the message across.
I may be wrong, but i seriously doubt author themself desire to escalate violence to this extend, as i said, if you want something so violent, i don’t think you gonna get it in this story.
12 Likes
That’s definitely the reason to be pain towards anyone that’s related to the bird cult…
Violence is unnecessary but so is the bird cult kidnapping MC and forcing them to join those weirdos…
This is very much true, too much violence as a response is too dramatic and unnecessary…
1 Like
Please don’t misunderstand my posts, this is just my honest feedback, for the Author’s use. It’s ultimately up to them, and the story will still be amazing no matter what they do (as evidenced by the first few chapters). But I feel that I would be remiss if I did not share my honest thoughts.
And you’re right it is getting rather circular, and so this will also be my last post regarding this topic.
First off, I want to thank everyone for that feedback and I do appreciate your interest in the story and hearing perspectives from different types of players very much 
That being said, I am not going to add super violent options like what is being discussed. I already went back in to change up the dialogue for people who do want to be more resistant and added the Elliot punch for MCs who are more physically inclined. I’ve just tried a couple more short scenes like y’all are suggesting and they feel waaay over the top and very disjointed from the rest of the story. This quote is part of the reason why:
I feel like responding with extreme violence to the twins or Elliot situation is just not something that works for me as a writer, the MC, or the story. And I do appreciate this suggestion:
I will consider if some MCs really need this to feel right. However, the MC is already outclassed. Elliot is teleporting around and able to track the player. If they grabbed a screwdriver and tried to swing at him, he would have time to get out of the way. I would think that’s obvious to most MCs. As for calling the cops, there are some branches where the MC attempts to do that, but they ultimately don’t have the time. Elliot is only in the player’s apartment for like 5 minutes total.
It’s just really not that type of game. The entire story will centered more around investigating the weird things going on at OFNA and developing relationships with the other characters. This is primarily an urban fantasy and romance story with elements of mystery and uncovering the truth. It’s not really an action story and will be more of a slow burn.
There won’t be “badass MC” moments like that against the main cast. The MC is a waiter in a small town who’s basically bored with life, not a solider or a cop, and the MC will not be given the option to straight up murder or attack other characters for the most part. Self defense if someone is being violent toward them? Sure, but that will not be a reality until the very end of the story.
I understand that is frustrating and disappointing for some of you, but I hope you continue reading. If not, thank you so much for your support and interest and I hope you all find a story better suited to your preferred playing style.
38 Likes
He he he let’s see and play right! 
I as sure as hell won’t be the prey. Just saying
1 Like
I’m not sure if it was meant to be written with some humor, but (my??) MC’s sarcasm had me cracking up throughout.
Basically, this was fun to read. Also, the plot is in some ways familiar, but also feels fresh and also, somewhat relatable (because I, too, can summon a bird out of my chest, obviously lol), so I’m excited to see where it goes next.
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Just finished the demo and I enjoyed it a lot! I played as a “self-insert”, which was basically a very resistant MC because god, the sense of unease was overwhelming (great job on the atmosphere!!). I very much resent all the RO’s right now, but I’m sure I’ll forgive them…eventually. 
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Lol that’s how I feel with Elliot. Like damn you but also damn, I want you?
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Hello, what happen if we snap the neck of the bird to piss of the cult (sorry, birds creep me out, i wonder why)
Otherwise i really like the storie so far
The familiars (birds) are tied to the MC and not to OFNA. There would be personal consequences if the MC killed their own familiar.
That being said, the familiars are not just random birds. They are supernatural entities that did not exist until they were bound to the MC when the birdcage was opened. You couldn’t just snap their neck to kill them, it’s more complicated than that.
I’m glad you liked the rest of the story so far, thanks for reading!
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I love birds. I am very glad to find this wip. I am surprised to find that many people choose the same bird as I did, American Sterling. Its resilient and aloof attitude piqued my interest. Will an aloof bird and aloof mc get along? My knowledge of birds isn’t vast but I am interested in learning more about those familiars. I am wondering if the familiar will be able to help the mc in some situations.
1 Like