Need help with immersion

I am currently writing a story about a apocalyptic world where the story starts right from the beginning of the apocalypse.As this my first attempt at writing I am having a hard time making the story immersive enough,currently its feels like a low budget indie movie but I want to do better.I want the world I make seem real and the reader to feel involved in it but as I am not an English graduate or a book lover I find myself at loss of words to describe what I want to actually convey.I looked over google but most of the answer were useless or completely off topic.I need this story to be immersive enough or else the actual meaning of the story would go unnoticed.I don’t know hoe you guys can help but I need one.

There’s many websites which might help you learn words and get you used to the richer part of the English language, if you’re at a loss of words.
If you need inspiration… music!


hmm…well I don’t know if I can help much m, I’m an engineer not a writer, but let’s see.

First thing I’d have to ask is what sort of apocalypse is it, are we talking nuclear winter, massive solar flare, deadly pandemic, etc? this will give a basis as to what sort of difficulties the MC will face. If you have that basis it will help the inspiration.


If the problem is simply a lack of vocabulary, head right on over to

I think around 15-20 minutes a day should do wonders


In addition to what has been suggested, I would say this is also an example of where trusted test readers come in handy. Sometimes as the writer it is difficult to judge if you’re really being expressive/immersive/descriptive/whatever enough or not. An honest and thoughtful test reader could look over what you have so far and let you know what works and what doesn’t, or what areas might need more attention. Or you could post a small sample here on your thread in the forums and see what people think. This community is usually very good about giving constructive feedback.

Also, don’t put pressure on yourself to make it perfect the first time you write it. That’s what rough drafts are for. Going back and improving on your last attempts is just good editing, not failure. I know I’m always finding ways to reword or build on what I wrote, but the most important step is having something to edit, first. I encourage you to keep trying and find what works best for you. Good luck!


You don’t need flowery language to make a scene immersive. When we’re immersed in something, all of our sense are engaged.

As you edit each scene, run through your senses. Sight and hearing are easier ones, but with hearing, don’t forget to include background or ambient noises. Touch isn’t hard either–is it warm or cold? Is there a breeze? Can they feel sweat dripping? Are muscles aching? This isn’t just what they feel with their hands, but rather any physical sensation they experience. Scent isn’t too hard either–what does the breeze smell like? Can the MC smell themself? Is something cooking? Taste is trickier and doesn’t always fit into a scene, but they can taste blood if they bit their lip or tongue, or taste something on the breeze.

What does someone in that moment really experience?

Then, you can pare down the full description to the most important details, the ones that make it feel real and that convey what is important to the story.

Then think about the best comparisons you can make to further engage the reader in the overall sense of the scene. If a machine makes a loud bang, does it sound like a gun, a firecracker, or a truck backfiring? A gun is good if you want apprehension, a firecracker for summer/happiness, and a truck for mechanical/mundane. Put the reader to work; the associations they make with your descriptions and words are like background music in a video game or movie.

Studying poetry and the poet’s toolbox of tricks and techniques might be useful. Another good idea is, whenever you’re reading or playing a game, pause for a second and ask yourself what about that moment makes it engaging. Or, take time each day and pick out one thing around you to describe. Describe it three different ways, trying to give a different overall feeling or tone each time. As with all things, practice is the best way to improve.


Yeah, I’m not the best with words either… That’s what thesauruses are for. :yum:

Hi friend! I would like to say thanks for making an apocalyptic interactive story, and I bid you good luck on it!
Now, let’s nip this problem in the bum!

While writing, you should constantly ask yourself your 4W’s+1H. When, where, why, what, and how. When did this happen? Where did this happen? Why did this happen? How did this happen? Asking and answering these types of questions can especially help with how you want to describe your story. However, this process is difficult while you are writing an interactive fiction story. While asking yourself the 4W’s+1H, you should think about the readers as well. How are they going to feel when event A happens? How is this choice going to affect that choice? What choices should you give them when this or that happens? Where are you going to put choices A and B in the story? Why would you put choice A and B here instead of there? When is event A going to happen? Questions like these should be asked while you’re writing an interactive fiction story.

I can give tips on how to involve the reader, like letting the reader create their own character. This is my own preference, but I absolutely hate when games give me my own appearance because either I look nothing like how they describe me or I feel left out. Letting the reader choose their gender, clothes, skin tone, hairstyle, hair and eye color, would make them feel much more included. Character background is another immersion solution. Letting the player pick their own background helps a TON. My friends, who read interactive fiction as well, tells me all the time about how much they love character background. Who they were before the story seems to help with immersion.

My favorite, making a story descriptive. I love editing papers/stories and seeing how descriptive the author was while writing. Being descriptive is wonderful, however being too descriptive can cause a conflict in the story. It can cause the reader to lose focus on the actual plot, or whatever is happening at that time. Using metaphors and similes can also help with description. To add, if your world is something new, something that you created, try to introduce what it is exactly. The reader doesn’t know anything about your world, only you do. Try to let the readers understand what type of world is it, what’s the main importance of your world? If you want. you can throw in a little history about your story as well.

Taking from what most users already said, you can always use specific websites and try to read other stories and ask yourself questions about the story. Some questions you could ask would be, what made you so interested in that story? How did you feel when event A happened and why?

Like what Liszante said, being descriptive doesn’t always mean suddenly transforming yourself into William Shakespeare. Your writing should come natural, you should never try to force it. Plus, if you really need help, try writing your story and give it to some people so they can give you constructive feedback on it.

Hope this helps! :grin: