Moon's Bane (WIP)

Hosted Games Works In Progress
#1

BloodBeasts…vicious…lethal…dangerous. They’ve been horrors, confined to the night. Until now. Can you find out what changed…and, more importantly, can you stop them?

OK, I’ve gotten the first “day” done, and I promised myself I’d post it when I hit that milestone. It’s basically the first chapter. All feedback is welcomed, and constructive criticism is as well. One of my characters has a bit of a different dialect, so when he talks it’s not typos, I swear :slight_smile:

Please let me know what you think!

Lessa

50 Likes
#2

https://dashingdon.com/play/lessa-willowisp/moons-bane/mygame/ :slight_smile:

6 Likes
#3

Thank you! I was just about to fix that! I’m out of brain juice lol

Lessa

4 Likes
#4

There isn’t a ton there but, it’s interesting… however, all I could think while being introduced to all these characters that I apparently knew already, was how much this could use a prologue of some sort. It felt kind of like all the info came afterwards, like a “oh, by the way…” kind of thing.

I wish you luck on this project though, and I’m interested to see where you’re going with it. :upside_down_face:

2 Likes
#5

Welp, not much here, yet i’m bookmarking this. :+1::wolf:

#6

Thank you so much for reading this! I’m hoping to have another update ready by this weekend. It may not seem like it, but there are actually a lot of different story branches to keep up with :slight_smile:

1 Like
#7

A bit on the short side but really interesting. I look forward to playing more. I would recommend perhaps a definition of each race in the status menu so people can understand the race their MC is better

1 Like
#8

That’s a good idea, I’ll include that in my next update. Thank you!

Lessa

#9

Sounds okay needs more of summary it’s to short

#10

What are trylle?

#11

Ah yes, the Trylle. After the Great War, the different races decided to set up trade routes and trading caravans traveled those routes, usually three or four times a year to buy and sell goods. The original Trylle were members of a Dwarven trade caravan who decided while they were away that there was too much of the world they hadn’t seen, so they became nomads. Physically they’re still very similar to the Dwarves, but their muscle mass is distributed slightly differently from being on the move all the time. Some will find reasons to settle down for a while, or find a place that “feels like home” to them, but overall they still have a massive case of wanderlust :slight_smile: Because their travels have taken them far further than the other races, they trade with groups that the other races of Alamia have little to no knowledge of.

2 Likes
#12

It was very fun to play, and i can’t wait to play more!

But i just wanted to say that it repeated some scenes in the cave, like you meet Lilya twice and Ewan says his war story twice, you also drink the water more then once while acting as if it’s your first time. It’s hard to say where it was as it’s a whole scene but i hope this helps :+1:

2 Likes
#13

Ah, thank you for letting me know. I’ll take a closer look at that and see if I can figure out where it went buggy, and fix that along with tomorrow’s update (warning, it’s not going to be a big update, life kind of happened lol)

Lessa

EDIT: I found the problem, so it will be fixed in tomorrow’s update! I really appreciate the catch there @Sid0

2 Likes
#14

Looks like an interesting start. Good luck with this! :slightly_smiling_face:

One thought from me: this probably doesn’t need to be added in any time soon, but when you’re selling the Bloodbeast parts, and it says “If you ever get to Rothe the smiths there can use these parts to forge you some incredible stuff”, it might be helpful to have some idea how much would be needed. Again, this doesn’t really need to be until/if the character actually goes there, but I don’t want to get there and find out I’m 1 hide short :joy:

#15

I’m glad you’re enjoying this, thank you! Also…

First off, generosity is good! Since you have to make (at least) one side trip before you get to Rothe, there will be some chances to find out more about what’s needed to make the “incredible stuff”. If you do happen to come up short though, don’t despair! You don’t have the option (yet, any return trips could be different) in Velneth, but at other Guildhouses, you’ll have options to buy some parts.

1 Like
#16

OK, I have a question for anyone interested in reading this. Should I include a glossary/dictionary? I know any words I invent I’m going to have to include definitions for, but I’m also asking because I know I have a rather varied vocabulary. I also know that not all the readers of these stories speak or read English as their first language. So, would it be helpful to have a glossary? I’d be happy to include any words that someone runs across but isn’t sure of. Let me know what you think!

Lessa

1 Like
#17

Really you do what you feel is right for your story

#18

I would love a glossary for words or phrases that are uncommon or that you have a different meaning for in your world.

#19

The looping problem is not fixed

#20

Sorry, sorry! I’ve been sick in bed the last couple of days (ugh!) OK, the files to fix the looping problem have been updated, that’s also going to take care of a gender-swap issue with one of the NPCs! The full update will be released on (or hopefully before) Friday. I’d like to thank everyon for their patience!

@FutbolDude21586 I’d be happy to! If you spot anything that you feel isn’t commonly used please feel free to shoot me a message and I’ll include it.

Lessa

3 Likes