I absolutely love the concept of this story, it’s so unique 
I’ll bookmark this one to keep track of the progress.
@Rustem_Khafizov do you have a Tumblr or a Dev blog for this WIP?
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Thank you! 
Well, this thread is the development blog. I will be posting updates here whenever they happen! 
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I just finished reading the start of the story. I loved it!!! please continue, I’ve always liked romantic stories.
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Thank you, I will! Just don’t know when chapter 2 will be done yet
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Ooh! The concept is really fun! I am a sucker for romance so this is right up my alley 
the RO optioms are very intriguing too 
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Thank you!
Do you have a favorite? 
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The demo was very intrigued and I like the idea of a sudden phenomenon of, “La Urge”. The cast of (5)? cover alot of the personality types from what i’ve identified aswell.
Julia - Cheerful and Impulsive
Leonie - Flirty and possibly sarcastic
Tris - Observant and careful
Nikki - Ion even know yet but a build-a-dream character
and last but not least, Roomie. Not sure, short demo.
Though, I have some questions and concerns regarding the demo which in my opinion is kinda ruining the immersion and the story.
- Will we get to discover what and where la urge really originated from?
- Why did all of the RO’s make a sudden appearance in the same day?
- Why did we not get La Urge?
- How did tris get your number?
Those were my questions, don’t answer if too much is revealed or simply, haven’t thought that far ahead yet. Now, my personal concerns and such.
The story felt very rushed, the pacing made me instantly recoil and double take, after we get to know the urge alittle and how our setting and story will take place, Maybe to pace it out better before just throwing the reader off the cliff and just add details to the setting; afterall, we are in Paris, maybe detail the café sooner and add details about the environment like, “The October air whistles throughout the streets of Paris, alongside the screams of laughter and the small children running alongside the sidewalk, the tree’s-- yatta-yatta.” and just help us get a sense of our characters identity before introducing us to the RO’s. Then, Julia suddenly appears before we know it and throw themselves at us, the dialogue for her seems kind of cheesy and very apparent and overused for those types of characters, maybe giver her a sense of dignity (Fainting with customers and such, Though, again I will appreciate that you were able to integrate characters with different degrees of personality rather than the same character with different names, then we get Leonie suddenly and such and eh, kinda just threw me off and ruined the immersion completely, and other things but this is a demo so I’ll give you breathing room in this comment.
Alsooooo, MORE DIOLOGUE OPTIONS!
I mean, when she faints for crying out loud shouldn’t you at least act alittle more concerned or worried then, “Damn okay, where were we?”.
Amazing start, and this is a very promising demo and i’ll keep my eye on it and add my shitty lil opinions. Happy writings.
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Solid critique imo don’t belittle yourself or your reasoned out opinions and ideas. you’re valid n rad 
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Thank you, that means alot.
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Yes. For the most part, at least
Just for fun, alhtough, technically, only two of them did it on the same day unprompted - Julia/n and Tris/tan (whose confession is skippable on the first day), then Leon/ie voiced their interest in the MC because of Julia/n and then the stranger did the same after witnessing Julia/n confess. So in a way, Julia/n was the one who prompted others to act, with the exception of Tris/tan. 
There will be an explanation, connected to its origin
That will be revealed in chapter 2
Yeah, pacing is something I always struggle with when writing 
Hmm, maybe, I don’t know. I usually dislike stuff like that when reading something, things like detailed descriptions of scenery and flowery language tend to bore me, but I agree that there are times when it is needed to establish important moments.
Julia/n is a cheesy kind of person though 
I want all of the characters to be exaggerated in their own ways, so for Julia/n it is being overly excited and idealistc.
Is fainting a cliche? 
I just wrote it to showcase how exhausted they are from their travels
True, although Leon/ie is a regular customer, so it’s not that surprising they’ll show up 
Good point! I’ll add some eventually 
Thank you! And don’t worry, I want more helpful criticism if anything. That’s the whole point of a WIP thread!
@M_K1 Thank you!
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I’m not a big fan of soulmates, but there is some harem thing going on and i can’t wait to read more
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Does the friend/roommate feel the urge towards us too? The fact that she was feeling the pull from behind us of all directions, makes me feel like she’s trying to avoid lying while trying to withhold the truth. Maybe I’m overthinking it.
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You hit the nail on the head!
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Thinking on this further wouldn’t surprise me if the stylish stranger did turn out to make their living through less than legal means…but he still strikes me more like Neal from White Collar aka a stylish art and jewel thief and possible forger than a mob boss per se.
Of he could just be a fashion supermodel…it does take place in Paris after all.
Then supermodel would be a good cover…art thief/forger could also do if he’s more of a trickster diety or something.
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Considering they’re the ONE RO you get to customise, and also this
I’m still betting on either a cubus or a love deity.
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I’m excited to see where this goes. It seems really interesting. I’ll be keeping an eye on this for sure.
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Thank you!
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I don’t know if this has been answered before. Would you make an account on tambler to post about your story? By the way it’s awesome and the characters are great!
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A very interesting concept, I can’t wait to see where the story goes!
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I will post here whenever there is an update
Thanks!
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