Last Dream - A Hindu - Buddhist mythological fantasy adventure (old thread)

[Gilbert_Gallo]

@Mercz94 and @AdmiralLynx89 thank you very much for being here and for sharing with us your impressions

I love FFX, and I chose to tell a story very similar to the one the video game provides. There are two main reasons behind this choice. The first reason is I love that videogame franchise and Last Dream is meant to be my personal tribute/retelling of it. (of course, I can never compare to Kazushige Nojima, Daisuke Watanabe, Motomu Toriyama or Yoshinori Kitase).
The second one is a vast spoiler, so read with caution!

Second, SECRET reason

The second reason is I WANTED to tell a story that LOOKs like another famous one, so people will “expect” the SAME behavior/ending/character development that happens in the “famous” story.

Well, this won’t happen.

The more people know about FFX, the more they will expect “something” to happen in the end. Last Dream, on the other hand, will have very different endings/finals/character developments/NPC developments compared to FFX.

That’s what I want to do: shock/surprise the FFX fans (those who have EXPECTATIONS on the story) and amuse/entertain people who don’t know anything about it (zero expectations).

Of course, the shock/surprise will happen gradually: the more the story develops, the more different it becomes.

I hope I will be up to this incredible task.

Please, don’t tell anyone about this spoiler. The fewer people know about it, the more “useful feedback” I will have in the end.

Anyway, I feel honored and humbled to be compared to the great storytellers of FFX. I genuinely hope my tiny, personal retelling of that immortal masterpiece will entertain you.

Thank you for the advice on the “personal feelings descriptions.” I never realized I loved them until now. I’ll seriously consider your suggestions, although I love writing “how your character feels” cause IMHO it provides “direction” on choices.
[For example: if the author writes your MC feels he can trust Mr. X and there’s no other reason for you as a player to mistrust him, probably trusting Mr. X will turn out to be a good idea]

[Gilbert_Gallo]

Hi everyone!

Today, I published an update! The story reached another critical milestone (74K words, wow!)

Thank you, everybody, for being here and for making this “last dream” come true.

Thank you, @CosmicRain, for your invaluable help with the Hindi language.

Do you like the story so far? How would you want it to continue/end? What’s your favorite NPC?
I am looking forward to hearing your feedback!

[Salvador_Domingo]

This is great so far! Please please please let us romance Wakka. I mean Midori… please! If you nade the whole party romanceable I would be over the moon lol.

[Max_Jones]

Can anyone explain to me why the term female parent is used instead of mum or just her name because I have never seen anything do it before?

[Gilbert_Gallo]

Hi @Max_Jones ! Thank you for being here!

Since the MC hates their mother, I looked for a “derogatory” way of addressing her. So far, the best way I could come up with is “female parent.” If you have a better idea, I’ll be glad to use it.

[Max_Jones]

Fair enough and I don’t know another word that could be used instead of the female parent because anything I would pick would just be a swear word of some kind but I do think using her name could work just as well because to me using your parent’s actual name is the biggest sign of disrespect or that you don’t see them as a parent and you want them to know that.

[Max_Jones]

Found an error 05_kagoshima line 629: increasing indent not allowed, expected 11 was 12

**[Commentator Voice] is this line meant to look like this in-game?

OMG, why can’t I pick the choice? I want to kiss you…

Also, there are times when the game say he instead of she and vice versa.

[Gilbert_Gallo]

Hi @Max_Jones ! Thank you very much for telling me about the bugs. I just fixed the Kagoshima line 629.

I didn’t write the branch that would start from “I want to kiss you” yet. Not sure about it. Do you think I should?

If you have time, please tell me where he/she is misspelled. Sorry, I am a non-native English speaker, so I would definitely need a double-check

[Max_Jones]

That’s great thanks.

Yes please do because Akira is so damn sweet and must be protected no matter the cost but maybe move it somewhere else as it’s kind of odd next to the choices I want to go home or I want to scream.

And sure I can do that also there is an app you can get for your PC for free called Grammarly that can tell you if anything is spelt wrong and it can help with other stuff like that too I use it a lot and I’ve found it really helpful.

What’s the gender of every character so I can make sure the text is right when it’s talking about that character?

[Gilbert_Gallo]

Thank you, @Max_Jones .

Not counting the “minor” NPCs, the MAJOR ones wish to be addressed this way (I hide this info cause this could be a spoiler for someone)

NPCs and how to address them

Shiva: She/her
Kannon: She/her
Koji: He/him
Midori: She/her
Hiroshi: He/him
Sun: She/her (although there are moments when the MC thinks she’s a guy and addresses her as such)
Akira: He/him
Kyoko: She/her
Guru Moanna: They/them
Guru Yebisu: He/him

Thank you again for your invaluable help.

[Empress_Nightmare]

Oi @Gilbert_Gallo

[Empress_Nightmare]

@Gilbert_Gallo

I just fixed the Kagoshima line 629.

It’s not fixed…or to be precise, another one is there

[Gilbert_Gallo]

Hi @Empress_Nightmare ! Thank you very much for your hint!

I played the scene on dashingdon many times, and nothing happened. I ran the scene on my Choicescript IDE, and no errors occurred.

Any ideas on how to deal with this thing? I really don’t know how to fix this.

[CosmicRain]

Oh my… The cliffhanger!! Really looking forward for the next update.
I am curious, are there more romance options in the game except Akira (I love him so much!).

[Empress_Nightmare]

Oi @Gilbert_Gallo are you perhaps rewriting? Cause it was ending with chapter 4…

[Gilbert_Gallo]

Yes, @Empress_Nightmare, I am constantly updating/improving the game following the many hints I receive. Does the game run smoothly now? Anyway, thank you very much for your time, and feel welcome to share any thoughts/hints/comments with us anytime

[Gilbert_Gallo]

Hi everyone! I’m sorry to inform you that I’m experiencing a terrible moment with my family, so please forgive me if this month’s update is delayed.

I will do my best to keep up with our promised deadlines, and I will strive to provide everyone with the best possible story.

In the meantime, please continue providing feedback, hints, and suggestions. They are always welcome!

[Gilbert_Gallo]

Hi everyone. Just a quick update: I am slowly getting back to writing. This bad moment will eventually be just a bad memory. Thank you, everybody, for your help and support. I love you all.

[Gilbert_Gallo]

Hi everyone!

I have an Easter Egg (as a present) for all of you: I just updated the game on Dashingdon, adding Chapter 8.

I know it’s not a BIG improvement, but alas that’s all I could do in this troubled times.

Happy easter to everyone and please let me know what you think. Together we will make this story come true!

[Petrichor]

Gave me an excuse to do another playthrough, i enjoyed the update!