This is really interesting and excited to see more! Also get vengeance, lol! I was a bit confused at the end though, didn’t recognize some of the names, especially the person you run off with but overall great start!
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Really awesome start. Really like the writing and characters so far.
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@Lychnobius Oops, I was messing with the saves and messed something up! I’ll fix it real quick!
Okay it should be back!
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This was a really enjoyable demo, and I’m so interested to see more! …and yes, to get REVENGE.
The ‘you will pay for this dance with your life’ line was so good, and that whole scene had me on the edge of my seat. I am so curious to see where my MC ends up.
There was a moment where the wording felt a little jarring to me, after you ask for a meat skewer at the very beginning:
Both you and the woman flinch at the other woman’s shriek.
“Zibiyah! Why are you touching it?!”, the woman bellowed her face frantic as she attempted to remove the woman’s hand from your head.
The woman in yellow, Zibiyah, held fast, even pulling you closer, no doubt getting her fine gown dirty.
It just seemed like a lot of ‘woman’ to me. You had called them ‘the stiff one’ and ‘the yellow one’ earlier, which reads better IMO. Or the instant Zibiyah’s name is mentioned, you could just always write ‘Zibiyah’ instead of ‘woman,’ because it’s already been established clearly that Zibiyah is the kinder one wearing yellow. But none of that is really a big deal.
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Oh you are so right about the clunky wording, I’ll definitely fix that! And I’m so glad you enjoyed it!!
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Using the save system plugin on dashingdon is actually super simple! You only have to insert a single line of code, after all your variable creation in startup.txt and before the main text of your game:
*sm_init save_slot_yoursaveslotnamehere | 7
The yoursaveslotnamehere should be something unique to your game, so you could just use honoramongstthieves for that, and the 7 is the number of save slots you want to include.
After that, you go to your game on dashingdon, click “Edit Details” check a single box that says “Check to use smPluginMenuAddon save plugin by CJW”, and you’re done! It’s under the check you can use to make your game appear publicly.
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Thank you so much for posting this! If I had seen this earlier it would have saved me hours worth of trouble 
Now I’ve added some saves! And thank y’all for being so kind and helpful with my really rough demo 
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already loving this. good premise and word building with a gripping backstory. i’ve made my MC resemble kaz brekker because this sorta reminds me of ‘six of crows’ 
looking at the RO list, i’m pretty sure on who will be his inej ghafa 
i’m so pumped for this story, oh man
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I like to play demo’s on my slow days at work and ahhhhhh I kinda wish I’d played this one at home cause there were so many times your writing nearly made me cry! This is so compelling so far and you got me so attached to the teacher characters so quickly and so easily, plus playing an optimistic MC creates literally the cutest child who I want to protect with my whole self!
Absolutely loving this and looking forward to seeing where it goes! The pacing is fantastic btw, nothing lingers too long but the scenes also aren’t abrupt and I really appreciate that in writing~ Thanks for sharing your story with us!
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Oh I love this! 
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I am hooked. I can’t wait to see what happens next!
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I am already hooked on this . Can’t wait to see where it goes next . Reading the ro descriptions i am already torn between two .
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I’m still so humbled and happy that y’all have enjoyed my tiny demo!
@anywaffle I’m so glad you connected with the characters, and tears!! Don’t cry, but also I’m glad it made you feel something!
@redfield I’m so glad you enjoyed it and @cornerstorecashier I really hope you enjoy the next update!
@Fardil_Husain First I’m super happy that you like it so far, and second of all I’m dying to know who you’re torn between!
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Hey no idea if you will see this but the fact that you have black and brown romance interests just made my day. I’m going to demo and buy the game when it comes out. As a black person om happy people who look like me like just exist in the universe you’re creating. It makes me actually get into the story and makes me feel scene. So thank you.
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I am so happy to hear you say that, I’m so thankful for your support, and I’m honored that you feel seen. I wanted to have a diverse cast of love interest because love itself is diverse and also because often black and brown people don’t get to be seen through a romantic lens. In this story’s universe or any universe we all deserve to be loved and to love. 
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Wow! This really grabbed my attention! I really enjoyed what I saw and I will avenge my theater mothers. Can’t wait for the next update!
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Oh my goodness, your theater mothers!!! I love that you call them that!
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The queen dowager sarai and laverna. Damn desma sounds cool too .
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Dunno if this is already somewhere, but is the KIng actually the Queen Dowager’s child? Seems to me that she’s…quite young? to already have a son that’s 20smth (might just be my opinion, but I am curious)
Also:
1 Like