Differing 'intimate' scenes for different genders

I would say yes , but I would argue that it shouldn’t be tacked by gender because that can easely lead to stereotype…of cooking dinner soirée for female…and Bowling soirée for male .

I say do it more for different personality , and even then that shouldn’t be . So do it more to make interesting and fun . Explore such a thing to see if you can do it .

In Mass effect 3 DLC for exemple , they did something like that .

Depand on your romance , you get a Soirée with them .

Garrus get a Tango dance with mc Shepard .
Liara get to talk and play piano toune and is sealed by a kiss .
Ashley go to a bar and brawl .
Kaidan cook you poisonous food lol
Samantha drag you into a Jaccuzi…
Samara get invited for an evening and seal it with a kiss .

of all of them , I though Garrus was the most fun .

if I were to write something like this…I write many possibilities and let the reader decide where they want to go. Instead of forcing that choice . As it is…I found that when I romanced Liara…her outing was utterly boring . The women never get to do anything fun . So while staying in and play piano would fit for her…I would have loved to do something else instead .

Sure…I couldn’t see Liara doing Tango lol but sky gazing on a roof with her would have been fun instead of what we got .

Sub romance is a total downer and turn off . And Dom romance just make me wanna punch them . So I pass on both .


That’s a good idea, but I’d still want it to be tailored towards what the RO would be into, think it could still work?
For example, a very romance focused RO would suggest more romance based activities, where as a more dare-devilish one would lean towards suggesting activities of that sort.


if you write it the way I suggested…then its kinda open up more for the player .

If you want it tailored toward the romance , which is ok…

Then make sure the choices are…well fun :stuck_out_tongue:

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Unless there’s a good reason otherwise, I’d want those differences to be based on player choices, not the MC’s gender.


The first question depends on how much detail you want to put into the sex scenes. If it’s more of a…“they kissed, passionately and fell onto the bed…fade to black” situation then I don’t think any changes need to be made with respect to gender, obviously. You can go a little deeper if you get poetic about it, and still not have to make gender specific changes, but if you really want an erotic scene then yeah I think you need to tailor the scenes to reflect the genders of the involved parties.

As for the second question. I don’t think the character’s gender should effect how dom or sub they are. Buuuut. I do love it when a game gives me the choice about that.


I agree with @Mewsly.

In SoS: The Mortal Coil (by Dae-kalina) there comes a possible sex scene (one can choose between two partners, or no sex at all). Anyway, one of the romance options is a man and with him Gabriel (the MC) can have varying experiences, be it that the mc is dominant or submissive. I have only played the submissive part, which came very natural and the romantic partner felt really careful and in his own way sweet (I say this because he has a set view on how there could never be a relationship between him and Gabriel).
Perhaps it is worth to take a look? It is an amazing WIP! Truly worth your time!


hummm is that the story with angels or something?:face_with_raised_eyebrow:

Indeed it is! You have to take a look, try it, I beg of you!
Your Gabriel does not have to be all holy if you do not want them to, and there is a whole customisation possible, gender-choice and all the gangbang. But, yeah, Gabriel (your mc) is an Archangel and works for God.

Ahem, back to the subject at hand:

Yeah, I truly think that it shows some very good nuances when it comes to dominance and submissiveness between the bedsheets.

Though as I said in the previous comment, there are two possible romantic choices in that moment (there will be a lot of other real romantic options) and I went with the male, who is willing to be both dominant and submissive. But the woman option is only dominant, which I have come to understand from the comments in the thread.

I already did…


and almost got eaten by a women if I remember XD

The woman is not only dominant. Shes only dominant if you aren’t experienced enough. If your experienced enough she’ll let you take the lead.

Lol don’t think that’s in there.

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you go in for a smooche and end up with a pirhana bite lololol :rofl:

Then I take back what I said earlier, my apologies. And thanks for the information.

Though now I do wonder why they said what they said in the comments…

Because she a generally dominant person. Any other option will make her not do anything with you if try to take the lead and aren’t experienced enough for it.

I chose to vary them mostly to allow for a better sense of self in the scene. I found that scenes where there was no variation could break immersion for me. This was a personal choice, and may or may not make it into the final published version of the game, depending on the editing route.

However, there are some important caveats that I have and consider while writing mine:

  1. Level of detail. Some people are comfortable with having specific body parts/pieces referred to, others are not. So I have a toggle that turns this off, going a more neutral path if that is more comfortable or that is what the physical sex characteristics suggest.

  2. Player choice. You need to make it obvious what the player is getting into. I don’t believe varying it by gender is the way to do that, but rather by personality, as stated above, or just a simple branching choice. Let the player dictate it.

  3. Scope. While I would love to offer a variety of choices, scope and what it adds/versus time that could be spent elsewhere is always something to be careful of. I have 6 variations based on level of experience (novice, intermediate, expert) with whether you prefer to take the lead or let your partner. That will be different in the actual romances, but it’s a factor to keep in mind.

Also, the SoS stuff is probably getting a little off-topic, but to resolve it, Laniwynn doesn’t trust inexperienced partners. She wants to have a good time, not be waiting while you fumble around. That, and she enjoys being in charge.


Okay I am a heterosexual cis girl who likes take the initiative. That means sadly absolutely 99’999% of games FORCES me to be totally different just to romance. I am not shy, I don’t blush. and certainly i am not wanting the alpha male get the hint i want something…
I just want to choose. Sadly except few games here absolutely all media

FEMALE =Submission

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I think variety in scenes based on gender is cool as long as it’s not a bad kind of variety.

But basing dominance and submission based solely on MC’s gender is not okay. Just, assuming anything based on a person’s gender is a bad idea lol. I think making it a choice is a good option. I mean, an RO can (should) have their own perferences, but the MC should be allowed to have preferences as well. However…

I’m not sure how to explain this. I know some people tend to use dom/sub as interchangeable with giving/recieving or top/bottom (perhaps because it sounds less vulgar? Idk?) particularly when talking same-sex romance, but that’s not very accurate lol. (Admittedly tho, planning ahead for sex scenes in my own WIP (I haven’t posted anywhere yet) im having options for top or bottom and it might be framed in a similar “dominant or submissive” way, so I might be a hypocrite) Since SoS was mentioned already, I’ll use that as an example (I love that WIP btw im probably sticking with it to see its completion and yes i say that knowing just how long that might be). The sex scenes with the male fae as a male Gabriel. I think I missed a couple variations but the one that stuck with me was the submissive virgin one and how it basically all but said that MC was the top in that scene and I think in the other scenes I played it implied the same thing, so that really took me out of the scene and was not something I enjoyed.
I really don’t know how to explain this without sounding like a jerk lol (or at least I feel like I sound ungrateful of the hard work put into that game)
I don’t know how many gay men on the forum feel the same as me so maybe I’m just preachijg to a choir of myself and no one else, but I’m submissive and a bottom and I like the MC I play to reflect that. (That is, I like to pretend they reflect that. Or it completely breaks immersion for me. Luckily, I don’t generally run into that problem with these games) We’re not here to talk about my childhood, so I’ll just say I have my own reasons that it’s less of a preference and more, I am legitimately uncomfortable with having no choice but to be the top in a scene.
The fae scene is a one night stand scene so it’s whatever, it’s not for me; I just avoid that character unless I play as a female MC. I just felt it was a good example to try and explain what I mean. Maybe it’s not important if you’re not planning for so much detail, but idk maybe someone else might find it relevant to consider for what they’re doing.

I am having MAJOR sensory overload while also trying to type this so I’m sorry if I wasn’t eloquent in trying to explain and if I made no sense. I can’t get my thoughts together.


Depending if you want to describe tongue delving or riding the ideal story would have

Sub MC if they make sub decisions or let others make them for them more Like and act like a sub
Dom MC if they make decisions without others and act dominant.

As well as different genders.

That’s the ideal to me.

So using genders alone ( I’m not counting NB which might be it’s own challenge)

Male Dom mc male sub ro

Female Dom mc female sub ro

Male sub MC male Dom ro

Female Dom mc female Dom ro

Female Dom mc male sub ro

Female sub MC male Dom ro

Male Dom mc female sub ro

Male sub MC female Dom ro

That’s eight scenes then you have NB into the mix. That’s an additional however many scenes.

To simplify things . You could use versus. The Aphrodite wanna be will never be a sub because she’s a literal Goddess. And a bookish nerdy timid character is likely a sub. But if your MC is a sub they probably wouldn’t fall for a sub character. If the writing is good enough. Anyway my point I want as many lesbian sub and Dom scenes in fiction as possible.

Thank you for your time

I understand you because even if we have different orientation we both are supposed to be things we aren’t because a stupid stereotypes people have about role dynamic during intercourse and gender. People like different things and their gender identity is not a valid reason to assume what dynamic they follow. Also top bottom has nothing really to do with initiative lol. I can be dominant and be in bottom i can guarantee that

I heard good things but the game ended immediately after I got to Earth. Did I make a wrong choice somewhere?

You know, if you say things like this in the thread, I can go make changes. hint hint. You absolutely do not sound like a jerk. Honestly, the way I tried to write the scene was that Leochlan wants a virgin Gab to try both so that he can figure out what he likes. I wasn’t thinking about players who have a preference; I was thinking more about how Leochlan would want the mc to experiment.

That wasn’t my intention with that scene, and frankly, Leochlan’s scenes were the first time I’d ever published something of that nature. Critiques are welcome. In fact, I will go and revise (at least Leochlan’s scenes) so that the dynamic is made to be player’s choice a little more. Laniwynn is one of the few characters with some harder lines of what she is and isn’t willing to do, but I’ll see if I can tweak her scenes too. I don’t know if that will help at all as you’ve already played through that, but it will make it a better interaction in the future.

I would hope this is never the case with one of the actual ROs, as those scenes are going to be much more complicated. Rather than do what @GenecoInheritor suggested, most of my characters don’t have too strong of preferences. They mostly revolve around what makes the mc happy. Obviously they’ll have different behaviors/success at certain things, but that’s what makes them unique. Also, if there’s any more SoS only related conversation, please take it to the SoS thread. Let’s try not to get too off-topic!

So, for example, a proper RO scene might look more like this with a series of choices (some of which may or may not be set earlier)

  1. Take the lead/let them take the lead.
  2. Location
  3. Preference of type of interaction
  4. Positioning
  5. A bunch of other misc variables such as your character’s temperament, strength vs. agility, etc.

But that’s just how I plan to attack them. Ultimately you should do what works best for you, but avoid gender stereotyping.

There’s a bit of conundrum where-in the more choices you give a player, the more likely it is a smaller phrase or detail can break immersion, but through feed-back and revisions, you can hopefully minimize that. You won’t be able to please everyone, and that’s just something you’ll have to accept, but player suggestions and critiques are an absolutely invaluable resource, which is one reason to write it, get it out there, and see where the cards lie.