The story that was dense and lively a couple month ago is… dilute in spoilers and light writing.
i’m sorry to write this but, it should be enunciate.
An exemple of the spoil
[spoiler] You have fulfilled your duty. But this will not be the last time, it is only a matter of time until you have to kill again. It was not uncommon to stain your hands with blood, especially for the younger ones. It is a rite of passage for the heirs of military houses, where children should kill before the age of 13, to be ready to fight for Darian and for themselves if necessary.
Your father will be proud, no doubt about that. You have no doubt that the news will spread and reach the ears of your father and other nobles. The child, the future of the Hope house, completed the rite of blood, and did honor your ancestors and your legacy. You know that is what they will say, but you also know that there will be those who will fear, who will think ridiculously bad things of you. [/spoiler]
Last time this detail about the lore is glean by readers by small chunk and well integrated in the story. What happen ?
[EDIT] I just remember last time this lore was in the mouth of the character father. In the rare moment with him you understand this lore.
Is those change in the story happen 'cuse something has to be write about the mother or connect the main character to the mother ?
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I only start reading of the update, a lot have change… why ? Things work so great in the story and make us reader care about what happening.
I think you get runes on your back when you either surrender or fail to kill the rebels in the village. However, I have always killed them all without a care for my soldiers so I never triggered being captured, but I do remember the mage who meets you outside of the inner gates of that village mentions the collar or the runes or something that they planned to use on MC.
Sort of bothered me since the past, but there’s been a number of times where the code doesn’t recognise Hayden’s gender properly. But I assume that’s probably low on your pirorities over getting more content out.
Thanks for the feedback, I understand, and I’ll try to correct it so that it’s better without seeming like an unnecessary dumping of spoilers and information. I’ll revise the writing and make it better. Any other parts that you or others think could be improved or perhaps unnecessary, or even that should be revised more carefully for an improvement in the writing or story, I’d love to know. Thanks
@L.D.nunes got a chance to play the update noticed some issues and when i get a chance will try to point them out once i play again. That said i loved finally getting to see more of demo than ive had for a very long time and looking forward to seeing more and exspecially with that ending and all thats been implied.
Nice update but i think some of the language used doesn’t fit the story the story, one that stuck out was “CREDIT CARD” i would defo look at changing that to something like funds or resources
At least once is my understanding for the rest unsure but what is sure is the perception of such acts with various people of different social caste is very much a thing hayden is using otherwise would have allready been married off by there father.
Honestly the Hayden stuff still doesn’t sit right with me. It’s my biggest gripe with the rewritten version-
I’d prefer if this was reevaluated or rewritten, but I’m still interested in seeing how the story goes.
Also, a lot of options in the menu just flat out break and crash the game right now, I can’t remember if it was so prone to doing so before. Checking inventory, relationships, etc.
I have a quick question about Hayden—are they, by any chance, gender-fluid, or was it a typing mistake? I noticed that when I selected their gender as female, their pronouns kept switching between ‘him’ and ‘her’.
Sorry for not reply right away, i have to read the all demo before writing this.
After the initial read of those spoils, i have to admit things look great. The story is coherent and solid.
Something came up while reading, pretus academy come up a lot. But the reader didn’t experience it. The reference talk about year in it while growing up.
