A Matter of Respect: Gender-Neutral Pronoun Guide and Discussion

It’s usually “themself” for people who use they/them! (I’ve only seen the plural version very rarely, and then it’s not usually referring to gender.) And a couple people do use “it/itself”, but it’s again super rare and kind of a reclaiming thing for the times they’ve been dehumanized, all “heck yeah i’m a b**ch!”-style. So yeah, good rule to never call someone “it” unless you know for absolute sure that that’s the right pronoun!

And thank you so much @Roby95. I’m doing my best, ha.


Cool! Good to know.


I am so so sorry that you’ve had such terrible experiences elsewhere in publishing! I know it happens, but it’s wrong. And that’s why we’re trying to make this community better and safer and more inclusive. We’ve got your back here :heart:


Themselves is grammar, themself is usage, though I have heard both. You basically don’t need to correct this to or from either, IMO.


Interesting. So “xie” is used for people who identify as agender and “them” for gender neutral (if I recall correctly). I thought these all meant the same as “them”, but people picked the ones they felt more comfortable with or liked the most.

What are the differences between using “ey” or using “vey” or “e”, etc?

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This is more or less correct, gender neutral pronouns don’t correlate to specific gender identities or presentations the way he and she (often) do. Different nonbinary people (even different agender people) use different pronouns depending on what they prefer, what they’re comfortable with, etc. The difference between using different gender neutral pronouns is just that they’re using different pronouns, that’s all it indicates in and of itself.


Got it. Thank you.

So game wise, it would be good to offer people a choice to enter their preferred pronouns.


@HomingPidgeon’s got it right! And I would love it so much if every game did this tbh. Just making it a normal quick thing does so much to make trans folks feel welcome.


I had a long list in Fallen Hero, but yeah, looking back I should have offered the possibility to enter your own as well. Oh well, live and learn.

And it looks like I’ve got a new game to check out once I get a spare moment!


Thank you so much. I hope you enjoy if you do play. And yeah I did a list too - I would LOVE to know how to let people enter their own, but I don’t yet lol

I never get involved in these sorts of discussions but I just wanted to say how great this community is. That everyone is so accepting and respectful of others is truly inspiring.


By using the *input_text command :smile:

This works by just having *input_text followed by the name of the pronoun variables, like *input_text they *input_text them, etc., or whatever you’re calling these variables. You’ll also want to check whether the pronouns go with plural or singular verbs.


Yesterday I realized, that I know how to adress non-binary people in english without seeming Rüde, but I had no idea how I would adress them in my own language. Germany seems to be a bit difficult in that case, cause what is they/them is similar to females singular pronouns.
So I googled and now I am lost in possibilities. It would be cool to have an ‘official’ Term, that while not exactly fitting for everyone, would at least not offend people. But I guess time will bring up such Terms, since germans love to have the certainity of official approved wordings. :smiley:


In an attempt to respect peoples wishes I just use “they” in replace of most gender pronouns.

I cannot, for the life of me, commit to memory the list of pronouns suggested in the guide. I think its a great idea and a very constructive and creative solution to the problems we all have with this particular subject.

Still, somehow in normal conversation these pronouns feel clunky, odd, and forced. But, so did “they” when I started using it. For me, for now, “they” it is.