If someone asks to be referred to by gender-neutral pronouns, how does that hurt you?
You’re asking two separate questions. I’m not sure if that is your intention or not. One question is “can I be allowed to misgender a character?” and the other is “how do I create a gender-changeable character, a la Wayhaven Chronicles?” I would suggest you take the latter to the development and coding section—there’s pre-existing threads for that, I believe—and learn about how to be kind for the former.