Zombie Exodus: Safe Haven, Part 4 Public Beta - updated 2/1/2024, 461,000+ words

@JimD

“I don’t have a choice, Jillian. I have to go save Kevin. Unless you’re dying, I’ve got to go

Put a full stop after the bolded word.

That’s the saddest argument I’ve ever heard. And I sauce to schizophrenics fight over a plate of carrots in a mental hospital.

Saw two

You think they’re more worried about drugs than guns and food and supplies? That just seems crazy to me," $lopez} says.

Change the bolded word to:

${lopez}

We near the road to full recovery is long, but we cannot thank you enough for treating her."

Fear

I would rather give them an hour to the neck."

Arrow

I hope your friend is okay, and we can reach an before there’s any violence

Him

It’s good you get to know me, see you trust me.

So

I know I knew to the junkyard, but that’s a bold move telling him where we live."

I’m new

Spotting you, he holds his hands up to show his nonthreatening. “Hey, everyone. I’m Leo. You guys cool?”

he’s

Well, I know not the piss you guys off," Leo says with a laugh.

Now not to

New here the rapidfire of her SMG again and then the sounds of her cries.

You

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who’s leo?

Her least favorite people are liars and thieves so probably.

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A guy you know early on in part 4 of the beta.

@JimD I would have liked to be able to modify the virus in part 3 :smiling_face_with_tear: :smiling_face_with_tear:

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I think he hasn’t done much to that unique route. So much potential is lost

Not lost lol I’m sure will get something in part 4.

I remembered in part 3 we can obtain medical equipment during the mission to find the speaker for the party at the abandoned train station, would we be able to use it to examine Jasmine in Southern Ure?

It’s a planned 5 part game. Of course he would only be laying the groundwork for a virus cure in part 3.

And considering the medical equipment you can pick up and all the info/samples on the virus between the laboratory and the depot I’d say the storyline progressed nicely.

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Thank you as always. I have corrected all of the issues.

That will definitely come up along with a lot of other things to discuss in the aftermath of Part 3. I’m planning to do that in the next chapter.

This is tough. That would imply that the group should just turn around and go back to the junkyard, which would invalidate the mission. I would have to create a whole separate path for this. I’m not opposed to a statement made at that point that suggests you wish you didn’t have to save Kevin, or something like that.

This is fixed now.

I will do some testing. It sounds like the calculation may be off.

I have definitely felt some burnout and appreciate your suggestion. I do like to push myself so that people don’t have to wait as long for the next part. I do have a vacation planned for the end of the summer, and I am taking Sundays off which have really helped.

@Bugreporter thanks! All fixed.

If you have enough material collected and other necessary items, you will be able to do so in Part 4

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So we can develop a way to cure or vaccine later in part 4. Finally I was wondering when we could actually do it instead of collecting and studying the virus whenever we can

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this was so good, as always. i would, however, have wanted to be more firm with jaime when he beats the living crap out of sean. honestly, when you come up to him he’s just like “i don’t wanna talk” like…dude?? you literally almost killed someone just because he didn’t like you. i did the stand and watch route to see how far he’d go and i’m actually mad at him. if it was up to me, i wouldn’t even have let him come along to pick kevin up.

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That’s the new Jaime for u. I didn’t think he’ll do something so brutal because someone doesn’t like him. But to be fair Sean is acting like jerk this time. Hopefully we’ll stop him doing something that bad next time

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To be fair u could make the option getting Kevin back for different reasons. Here are some examples

  1. Some of the mcs were robbed by the same guys when they left the house to shop earlier in the game.

  2. To make a statement that our group isn’t to be messed with.

  3. To plant the idea u should be leader if u lost the vote earlier.

  4. To gather more supplies and resources for survival.

So the mc should go anyway but for reasons like these

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Honestly, all the options were pretty tame. I want an option to just lash out on jaime for his bullshit, critically injuring a member of this group should be punished harshly, regardless of relationship to group leader. I wouldn’t say punch jaime, just yell at him.

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I think Jamie might become the Final villian in the story which the MC has to face. Cause the killing of Dilan, and the part of the Silverthorne group 2 of the members which he forcefully rejected and now brutally beating Sean. After playing yes I noticed the apocalypse changed him.:pinched_fingers:t4:

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I managed to get Kevin back at the Park because I had an alliance with the bikers and while discussing how long to stay at the reservation there’s still an option to basically say “we need to hurry and save Kevin”-even though I had already done that. if your aware of this or if you’re in the process of fixing this please ignore me and sorry for waisting your time.

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Next set of comments...

“Be careful up the mountain. Will catch up to them when we reach the top,” you say.

“we’ll”

*if vehicle = "motorcycle"
    *set payne_vehicles 2
    The SUV keeps pace with you, and you point to the back of the pickup truck in front of you. Jaime raises a thumbs-up that you spot in the rearview mirror, and you're sure he knows your plan. 
    *goto AmusementPark

This says you’re destroying a vehicle, but it isn’t mentioned in the text. I assume the goto at least is out of place, as motorbikes are used again later in this section, but the goto skips that.

You @{driving_vehicle Keep URI on the back of the convoy of pickup trucks while watching the road which snakes ahead of you.

“your eye”.

The road snakes ahead of you, and you gain on the pickup trucks.

If you’re not driving, this sentence appears twice.

You
[…]
@{driving_vehicle spot a straight stretch of road and press the gas pedal to the floor, lining up the front of your ${vehicle}|${driver_mission} waits for a straight stretch of road and then sends the ${vehicle} forward, lining the front of the front of it}

This is fine if you’re the driver, but if not the “You” will be out of place.

@{driving_vehicle You shoot|$!{driver_mission_he} shoots} forward and slam
into the back of the pickup truck once more.

Should be “slams” if someone else is driving.

It seems weird to be so blasé about knocking one of the trucks off the road when you don’t know if it’s the one Kevin’s in.

The metal breaks, and the truck careens off the edge of the mountain

Strictly speaking, this should be “career”, not “careen”, but at this point the words are so conflated that it probably doesn’t make much difference.

You @{driving_vehicle steady the ${vehicle} and|roll open the side window, lean outside, and} reach […] through your inventory.

This really feels weird for someone on a motorbike (or even just for anyone who’s driving themselves). Maybe just say something like “reach for a weapon”.

The bike drifts towards the shoulder, and you almost lose control as you bounce over speed bumps. There is no way to keep the bike steady and use two hands to fire the bow. You try a few more times and almost lose balance with each attempt. The convoy of pickup trucks speed along the road, and you spot them coming to a slope. You can’t see beyond the drop-off. You veer the vehicle around a small pile of trash and almost scrape the metal guardrail.

All should be @{(vehicle = "motorcycle") bike|vehicle}.

Somehow you manage to balance the barrel across the window frame and then open the side door to use it as a sort of tripod.

You balance the barrel across the window frame but struggle to make it level.

I think you can still get to these with the motorbike. (I think maybe the original paragraph was supposed to be bow-and-arrow-specific, but ended up being bike-specific as well, but this was never reflected in the *if.)

It pierces the back window of the truck with a crack and sticks into the back of the driver. He
*goto HighSuccess

This should goto BowSuccess.

“Thelma and her gang are keeping this whole place meat and clean? Must take a lot of effort,”

“neat”

${pet_name} darts take the shoe and sniffs at it.

“to”, I assume. (Also, should this behaviour be limited to dogs?)

a tall, well fit man

This is not the place I ever thought I’d see someone described as “well fit” (slightly outdated British slang…)

Dee loops her fingers into her belts and stands with one leg forward.

Dee hasn’t been formally introduced for city/suburbs players, or for country players who didn’t get her event.

They told us they’d pay a thousand dollars, and we never saw a dime one.

I assume this doesn’t need the “one”.

You feel someone breeze by your rate year and turned to see Ray now standing there.

“right ear”

They broke into our Haven, not damaged our property, and took one of our members.

“haven” shouldn’t be capitalised, and they did damage our property.

Not put that gun down," Thelma says,

“Now”?

He paces nervously and takes turn looking at all the people in the area.

I don’t think this is phrased right, although I’m not sure what the best way to phrase it would be.

We’ve tried to be neighborly and extend a hand, and they spat at us.

This seems a little unfair to say to an MC who has a Mambas relationship between 50 and 60, who helped fix the Mambas’ bike, and tried (but failed) to help them in the museum, simply because they didn’t enter a formal alliance…

bursts under a far game booth and hides beneath the decorative blue curtain adorning its bottom.

“bursts” would generally imply leaving cover, not entering it.

The Paynes stride Past you,

Shouldn’t be capitalised.

"What could they want with drugs? It’s not like there’s any medicinal values.

Well, heroin at least is chemically very similar to the painkiller morphine, so it could potentially have medical uses with a chemist who could convert it…

The wind now blows in stiffed costs and the storm clouds hang even lower in the sky.

I guess this could be “stiff gusts”?

The engine roars to life, Tommy revving it a few cycles, and then peels in reverse.

Should be “peals” if it’s the sound.

You’ve always had troubl seeing at night, and you drive through the thick blackness with every bit of focus you can muster.

“trouble”

I want all of you off of our property Go now, or you all die.

Needs full stop/period.

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Am I the only one who punched Sean? Dude was instigating someone during the apocalypse. Heavily. I think the focus should be on who started the whole thing, not who retaliated after being lashed out on.

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As a follow-up to this, I note that if you had a high enough relationship with the Mambas before the museum and max leadership (I don’t know if the exact numbers are possible, but it certainly doesn’t look like a stretch), and sided against them at the museum but lost, Thelma will still help you get Kevin back… :sweat_smile:

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