Zombie Exodus: Safe Haven, Part 3 - releasing 3/3/2022

This is something I can confirm that @JimD plans on changing it so she can be saved. However, in the current build you can’t. As you can tell, there is some content missing in the current build, and there will still be stuff changed, etc.

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I loved the current beta but I feel like Woody ( my fav!) he kind of disappeared in part 3 which is a slight bummer. He doesn’t participate in any of the more meaningful mission and if I am not romancing him I barely hear about him at all.

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Hi Jim,i know this reply doesnt belong here,but anyway,in Zombie Exodus how do you get the Harem archivement? I tried everything.
Male with males (except Crone unless i bring Emma),the same but with Female.
Male with females,female with females.
Absolutely nothing happens…

Are Church, Driver and Gina supposed to just die like that? The scripted death in Part 2 doesn’t really affect me since I barely know some of those people, but Church, Driver and Gina were introduced more or less in Part 1 so it kinda sucks that there is no way to save them. I tried to plan out all the defenses and make people work on them but seems like they still just die.

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Well,It is assumed that in the end it was decided that Gina was not going to die, at least as scripted death and in this part, at the request of the fans, although with Edgar and Chruch they most likely have already kicked the bucket. I did not like this much in my personal opinion, since I feel that both were wasted potential, but hey we are in a zombie apocalypse, so I suppose we will have to adapt and try to save at least the most people as possible.

I haven’t done it myself to see if its possible but according to the code you need to reach the end of the game (the feedback screen) and have done the one of the following:

  1. Play a male character; leave the cathedral; save Mindy, Heather, Candace, and Kelly; and do not save River, Devlin, Crone, and Badger.

  2. Play a female character; leave the cathedral; save River, Devlin, Crone, and Badger; and do not save Mindy, Heather, Candace, and Kelly.

Seems like there are two different achievements. One unlocks the “Harem” achievement and one unlocks the “Reverse Harem” achievement. Every single one of these conditions need to be met or it won’t unlock.

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Is there any way to get Kelly in our car at the end of part 1?

Do I have to side with her when it comes to the Makarovs?

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I believe there is. After the Makarovs tries to break into your house, go and confront them with Woody and talk to her. When she is ranting to you about the Makarovs, choose to help her because she’s hot. That should start the relationship early.

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Did you get the Lone Wolf one?

No not that one. I already know about starting the relationship early I’m just talking about rising her affinity beyond acquaintance (55) because I have maxed out empathy yet can’t seem to push her to friend (60) in order for her to enter the car (just after part 1 ends, we ride off away from our house. Whoever is our RO will join us in our car)

I’ve found 2 bugs in Chapter 9 about Brody inviting MC to dance with him.

It should be *set brody_like 1 instead of *set bailey_like 1 under choice ‘I like ${flirting_with} and would like to explore a relationship with him.’, and *set brody_faction %-(round(20-(empathy/6))) instead of *set bailey_faction %-(round(20-(empathy/6))) under choice ‘I don’t like him too much and don’t want to lead him on.’

Thank you!

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Finally got around to finishing the chapter.

Notes

When you close the door behind you, you feel a pressure change and air jets turn on. Your body’s hit with streams of cool steam that quickly dissipates.

Would you feel this if you were wearing the hazmat suit?

@{(science >= 65) These dates show Zeta virus from up to three months ago, well before news of the outbreak became public.|After searching through them for several minutes, you see they are all the same: same amount of liquid, color, viscosity.} Towards the end of the long rack you find one labeled, Zeta.

This lab knew of Zeta months before the outbreak.

I don’t think the “Towards the end…” sentence scans as well with the high-science text; maybe it should be only in the low-science part?

You Have no use for this virus, at least none that you can think of right now.

“Have” shouldn’t be capitalised.

Would it make sense to let people choose whether to take the virus or not, or is it required by plot?

With another wave of pain, your eyes close and and image flashes in your mind for one brief moment—the face of the zombie, and it’s yours.

Should be “and an image…”

Thin light fog fills the entire area—thin white like smoke from a barbecue grill.

Not sure the second clause scans; it should either be “thin and white…” or maybe just cut that and go right to “like smoke from…”

You attended a seminar in your second year of grad school in which a company described their three-dimensional molecular modeling tool.

This line is visible to anyone with a high-enough science stat, including teenage MCs… Maybe the scientist background should be a requirement, too?

*label DiscViralResearch

This is called as a subroutine, but ends with a *goto instead of a *return.

You take careful steps not to trip, and you use the railing for support and guidance.

I think this should be “You take careful steps so as not to trip…”

The zombie scrapes near your feet like he’s crying his way closer.

I assume this should be “clawing”. (Also, the zombie is called both he and it quite a lot in this scene; presumably should only be one of those.)

Again you draw back the $curr_weapon} and bring it down, striking the metal again.

Should be “${curr_weapon}”.

You want forward and throw yourself into the zombie’s body.

Should this be “walk”?

You swing your legs to the side and meal as you grip it’s body, lift and slam it down to the metal floor… It’s hands grip at your leg, and you yank it away.

I’m not sure what this should be, but I’m pretty certain it shouldn’t be that… (Also, no apostrophe in either “its”.)

you keep lifting the helmet and driving it down until you feel the zombies body go limp in your hands.

Should be “zombie’s”.

Sneak down to the storage room and try to find a way to turn on some lights.
Sneak down to the console and update the employment records to prove to Sam I am an employee of this facility.

The second option here gives you two separate hits to your fatigue while the first gives only one; as far as I can tell, sneaking down in the light also gives one hit; is this correct?

*if night_blindness
  *set target_difficulty +10

Should this be true if you have a source of light (this subroutine can be called whether you have light or not)? Actually, this should probably be a lot easier if you have a source of light, but that doesn’t seem to be reflected in the difficulty.

or your @{wearing_hazmat the material of the hazmat suit rubs together.|gear shifts and creates clatter.}

The “your” should be in the brackets, in front of the word “gear”.

Something scrapes the staircase just ahead of you. You only have seconds until the creature attacks. You vault over the railing, swinging your legs up and over. Your heart pounds as you anticipate a great fall. An image comes to mind of you snapping your ankles and lying there for the zombie to feast upon. The drop comes quickly and you land a few feet away on solid ground. You hear the zombie stomping above you and know you don’t have much time before he comes back down.

This passage only makes sense if there’s no light, but it seems to be in a section where you could have a light.

Seconds passed and you hear the plastic hit the plastic with a splat and then bounce several more times.

Should be “Seconds pass”. Also, I assume the second “plastic” should be a different material.

You’re not even sure if money remains a true currency, so you toss a quarter.

Should this decrease the MC’s money? :innocent:

Hitting the wrong saying may make noise in the area, driving the zombies over to you.

I assume that should be “the wrong thing”.

Now the duo of infected call out in rage, and therefore heavy boots pound across the floor.

I don’t think the “therefore” really fits here.

Turning, you spot the first zombie running straight for you.

You reach for the keyboard and mouse and navigate through a web of menus detailing communications, inventory, research protocols and other essential procedures none of which matter right now. As the howls grow from behind you, nothing matters than finding a way to update this employment record. It takes you another twenty seconds of searching to find a career menu where you locate open job postings. You speed read through the titles and find Assistant Manager of Operations. Heavy footsteps pound from close by, as you type in your name and personal details. Time seems to move at hyperspeed as your fingers work the keys. When you finally commit the entry, you turn to see the sprinting zombie bearing down on you.

You are ridiculously calm given the imminent zombie… (Is this place larger than I thought it was?)

a stream of white foam replaces it, which dies out the zombie’s body.

Not really sure if this is worded right. I assume it means the fire, but even then I probably wouldn’t say that the foam can “die out” the fire.

Rethinking your strategy, you aim and fire another round

No weapon that gets to this point has fired before in this combat.

You wait for the sprinter to make his way across the sublevel, knowing your weapon can only fire about a dozen paces.

Can pepper spray really go that far?

Timing your approach, you swing low and shot her the kneecap of his good leg.

Should that be “shatter”?

With several rooms only side of the sublevel, one must have a working door, allowing you to trap these two zombies inside.

I assume that “only” should be something like “on this”; also I feel that “allowing” would work better if it was “which would allow” instead.

With only a moment to scan the room, you see another storage room. and long metal chains ending in hooks hang from the ceiling.

Should have a comma after “another storage room”.

When he regained his balance he rushes at you and stops at the length of the chain.

Should be “regains”.

the sound of the revolving drums slow to a halt.

Should be “slows”, as it’s talking about a singular sound, not the plural drums.

You keep falling into you come to rest on a flat surface.

Should be “until”.

Something groups your ankle and then pain explodes on the front of your shin.

I assume this should be “grips” or “grasps”.

You feel the zombie tugging on your ankle as its teeth chew into your flash.

Should be “flesh”.

It’s feet clomp the ground, and then

Should be “its”.

*label SecondZombie
*set timecount +25
*set zombie_kills +1
*set sublevel_zombies_alive false
...
You turn to search for any signs of the second zombie. Nothing. With the noise from the overhead lights breaking, you would expect him to hear the sound and come charging out. Where could he have gone? For now, you look through the sublevel.

The second zombie just wanders away, yet it’s treated as a kill, and as far as I can tell, won’t ever return.

emits. a weaker glow the farther down the light travels, making it more difficult to see the moving zombies.

Delete the full stop/period after “emits”.

As he rises you reload, aim, and fire.

I note you generally avoid using “fire” with bows, but this sentence can be reached if you have a bow.

You take time with your neck shot,

I am not certain if this should be “a neck shot”, or “your next shot”.

Noise attracts the undead, and so you walk with great care to avoid making loud sounds.

This is when you’ve chosen to rush down, and later on, it’s clear that you are making a lot of noise; should this be worded differently?

He is a general working with the Armed Forces and leads a task force to help civilian groups in Colorado.

This is in response to Woody’s question “You trust 'em?” but it replies by talking directly about the General; this could probably be reworded for clarity.

With Lancelot at their disposal, they’re going to turn from a scary group.

What are they going to turn into? (Also needs an end quotation mark.)

I haven’t actually taken anything yet. If it looks to be safe and I have time, I may just take some necessities.

This text is only if you haven’t taken a full cart, but you have had several opportunities to scavenge small amounts prior to this.

Popping the lid, you see slices of apple in need wedges.

Should this be “neat wedges”?

You touch the first run and feel its icy cold and rigid texture.

I’m not entirely sure if “run” is the word you want here.

@{vege freshly cut vegetables,|thawed protein,}

It seems weird to call the non-vegetarian option “protein”.

@{vege Asian Noodles & Veggies in a Creamy Cashew Sauce.|Broccoli & Cauliflower In Cheese Sauce}

Full stop/period needed after “Cheese Sauce”.

you’re amazed at the slight chewiness of the noodles

There were only noodles in the vegetarian option.

@{vege quinoa, tofu, and lentils.|beef, pork, and veal}

Again, second option needs a full stop/period. (Also, I would think you should clarify that the vegetarian meatballs are vegetarian when you first mention them.)

*set weapons_case_open true

This happens even if you attempt to open the weapons chest, but don’t succeed.

*if weapons_case_open
  *allow_reuse #Shovel.

Why is the shovel in the weapon case? I realise it could be used as a weapon, but so could the crowbar, and that was in with the rest of the tools.

@{told_faulkner_identity You reply with the same fake name you gave him earlier.|“It’s ${firstname}.”}

I think this is the wrong way round.

Since you’ve already visited the lab, you only glanced over the information provided in the central computer

Should be “glance”.

“This is Major @{female Jane|Tom} Smith.” I give a fake name to protect my identity.

What if this is actually your name?

If you’re in the army and give your name to Faulkner right away, the game launches into his dialogue without actually telling you that it’s him, or that you recognise him. A similar thing occurs if you give him the name Smith right away.

In addition to this, pretty much everything after *label FaulknerChat assumes that you’ve given Faulkner your identity, even if you haven’t. Also, if you’re a cop, doctor, scientist, or wrestler, you can give your name on its own or with your profession, but Faulkner will always react as though you did the latter.

@{army_prologue Since I last saw you at Fort Carson, a lot|We didn’t to meet up at Fort Carson. I don’t blame you for avoiding that base, but I wish I had a chance to see you before everything went south. Quite a bit} has changed with respect to my command.

Both versions should start with speech marks, and I think the second should be “We didn’t get to meet up…”

@{prof_military |It’s been a pleasure talking to you.}

Needs speech marks. Actually, this is repeated later, at *label EndFaulkner; it should only appear once.

Faulkner @{using_device Faulkner mumbles something under his breath you can’t make out.|flinches at the sound of the word, Goodman.}

In the first case, the name Faulkner appears twice in a row.

At one point several generals up the chain from the all died

Should this be “up the chain from me”?

Eric Holder where is the mantle of the president but is under the control of OMNUS.

Should that be “wears”?

"Did you say, ${ring_name}?

I don’t think this should have a comma.

Please confirm the location of the safe haven in which you are currently located?" The corners of his mouth curl.

This looks like it will start a new paragraph, so either start it with new speech marks or delete the preceeding line break.

Keep this up, and I see a promotion in your future.

This is said to everyone, whether they are in the army or not, and while I could see Goodman essentially drafting a helpful MC to his army, it would probably require a little more setup.

Also, the conversation just stops here; again, I can see Goodman just ending it there, but the text should be clear that this is supposed to be the end.

You just can’t get in without my help. @{spoke_to_faulkner Isn’t that right?“|Faulkner told me that.”}

The stuff in the @{|} should be swapped. That said, I can see that an MC might not want to namedrop Faulkner but still choose this option.

The central computer’s monitor goes dead.
*goto StorageHub

I think this should be StorageChoice, not StorageHub.

Even though you can’t see outside, you know your descending deep into the mountain.

Should be “you’re”.

You jerk your head back as a small vomit, and you see a puddle lying on the floor next to you. Your mouth feels dry but there’s something wet on your bottom lip and when you feel it, it’s the same color as the vomit.

I assume this should be “you smell”. Also, I don’t really like the way “feel” is linked with “colour”; I get what it means, but it feels inelegantly worded. That said, wouldn’t you taste the vomit before realising your lip was wet? (Or at least worked out from the context clues that you threw up; this makes the MC sound pretty stupid.)

From this point you can also see a large open ceramic container with heated liquid still bubbling and giving off steam.

Should you clarify that this is liquid metal? (Also, I’m surprised that it’s still heated, even after a few weeks…)

Flames rise up his arms and legs, and he snarls as he plunges into the fiery mixture until it envelops him.

You can’t actually sink in liquid metal; Matteo’s body would float as it burned up.

You could take two of them to bring with you to the Junkyard.

Why two specifically? “A couple” would be the same amount, but imply an approximation, which would feel less out-of-nowhere, especially given that you can choose up to three…

Also, unless I’m mistaken, you can at this point change into any outfit, including ones you had left back at camp.

On the left of it sits a supply truck with ahead draw like a lift in back in the upright position and no cargo loaded.

“A hydraulic lift”?

After that I thought lost.

I am not sure what this is supposed to say, sorry.

Since you’ve already gathered items from the storage area and place them on a cart, you bring it with you to load up a vehicle and take everything back to the Junkyard.

Should be “placed”.

With ten minutes of time, you need to make it to the main hallway and out of the depot without delay. You rush to the staircase on the main storage level and climb the metal steps as quickly as possible.

You get here even if you’re friendly with the army and want to wait to talk with them.

"Time of @{shutdown_activated shutdown|intruder arrival:}

“Shutdown” should probably have a colon, too.

Turning to the hallway, you See the glow of his machinery in the distance.

Should be lower case.

Line appears twice.

Billetts looks you up and down. "Work here?

If an MC is a student, teenager, movie star, or wrestler, but wearing a combat or science/medical outfit, Billetts will comment on both, even though it shouldn’t make sense. (And even more if you have a weird hair colour.)

They let somebody with ${hair_color} work here?

Should be “…${hair_color} hair work here?”

So is he not going to ask any questions?

“Get back here,” Billetts shouts. “We can stop that shutdown. I order you to come back here.”

Should that be “can’t”?

When you see the rocky, even path through the mountainside, you realize how difficult it will be to manage the terrain in a hazmat suit. You remove the suit and pack it in your inventory.

Weren’t you naked underneath it?

Your eyes water and nose runs, but you stifle sneezes as you wait for the soldiers.

You’re not waiting for the soldiers every time this is called.

Sean could show up any second.

Only Sean, and not whoever else might have gone with you?

After ten minutes, you spot Bailey’s Jeep riding down the road at a casual pace.

If you’re only going with Bailey (+Rachel and Sean), you’ll read this just after seeing the dust a mile away; this seems a little slow.

You glance over at a try wheeled bike on the road

“Tri-wheeled”?

Their clients of Eli’s," you say.

Should be “They’re”.

Tommy’s fist coil as he moves closer.

Should be either “fists coil” or “fist coils”.

I’ll talk to them and explained it was my fault.

Should be “explain”.

People already think Fred, me, and Billie brought their zombies the other night.

Could be “those”?

Faulkner now leads a group known as the Vanguards,

I feel like the “now” only really makes sense for characters who already knew Faulkner.

I’m not too happy that you went inside the depot, but alls well that ended well.

Should be “all’s”.

A couple of more major issues:

Fumes rose from the accident and carried virus throughout the lab. All were infected.

I realise that this is a story about motile corpses, now with a robot that can feel love, but this is kinda stretching my suspension of disbelief. Did a virus research laboratory really have ventilation that would actively spread potentially contaminated air everywhere? And if so, how could anybody think that this might be a safe place to live? At least at the junkyard the wind might have blown the fumes away… :confounded:

And speaking of said robot, it seems a little cruel to activate the base shutdown and just leave him there. Could there be a chance to at least warn him, although I am not sure how well he could survive out of the base?

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Thanks for all of your help in reviewing this version, @ParrotWatcher!

You make a good point about the ventilation system. I will change it.

The point of using Sam is for noncombat characters to have a chance against the zombies in other parts of the facility and the final battle, so I never wanted him too leave the depot. I think it makes sense to add a question to Sam, asking if you would like to go, though he will refuse.

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I’m going to post a new version of Safe Haven, Part 3 for public beta tomorrow. This includes chapter 12 and a lot of other content for earlier chapters. I’d appreciate as many testers as possible, because this is going to CoG for publication this week. I know it’s not a lot of time, but I’ve been writing hard and juggling a lot.

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very excited to test it!! can’t wait for the drop :smiley: def worth spending Halloween inside LOL

The public beta has been updated to the latest version. Please focus feedback on chapter 12.

I have also added a transition between chapters 9, 10, 11, and 12 to provide downtime and leadership activities.

Some major reveals coming in this release.
https://dashingdon.com/play/jimd/zombie-exodus-safe-haven-part-3-public-beta/mygame/

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Testing this, Ghost Simulator, and Keeper of Midnight all at once today. Will post feedback later, but for now, I just wanted to say:

How do you cope with stress? With conflict?
“By drawing and meditating. The former, I discovered in art class. I just seemed to have a knack for it. The latter, I found by going to a yoga center. The original intention was to scout for that ass, but soon I came to genuinely like it. It was calming, in a weird way.”

What is one thing people would be surprised to find out about you?
“I collect rubber ducks. I also still have my first stuffed animal. I can feel you judging me. Please don’t.”

…I forgot how downright fucking hilarious some of the premade characters can be. What an awesome fanbase.

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spits out soda

Jillian is pregnante? At least, she can be? That was… unexpected.