Nirvana is definitely not where I’d go. At least they’re not too far off, but still. Metallica is probably the safest option, though I think it’s really basic bitch :I “I like metal! I’ve heard ‘Enter Sandman’ and ‘One’!”
@Jackpot1776 Thank you, that’s what I was going for!
@Jinthe Tee hee, that’s the best part. Thank you for the kind words!
@MichaelCrank @WeisseWoelfin Thanks for the suggestion, I guess that it’s pretty obvious that my own dorm is definitely not metal-themed. Honestly, I just googled “rock-y style rooms” and went from there, so I’ll def fix some things up, the feedback is really useful. Also, is it better to call the room style “metalhead” rather than dark? Because I was really having trouble with that room, since I know almost no one that has that style. Also it’s probably very obvious, but I’ve never even heard either ‘Enter Sandman’ or ‘One’. Thanks again, both of you!
Not all metal music are neccesarily dark so that could work like “your room is styled as a rocker would with your favorite bands poster and merch covering your room”
Done! Thanks for the suggestion, I really do appreciate it.
Metal is a very broad genre, so keeping it vague is the best option so you avoid any accidentally insulting subgenres (this is kind of a joke, but also no).
I’m certain that makes no sense without context.
The Aphrodite kids are the best I already love them
Really enjoyed the first chapter! Also went Aphrodite which is gonna lead to a game style I don’t usually do so that should be interesting! Can’t wait to see the other ROs and see how we get roped into the quest.
I like this beginning. Good job it really feel like the whole thing is a normal routine for the Mc.
And usually I don’t really like any kind of mythology/fantasy mixed with modern elements/world. (This is completely a me problem as I always personally feel that the two world are just too different and don’t mesh well for me and I can’t suspend my disbelief) But here it doesn’t bother me. Kudos to you for that.
I do have some concerns tho.
Mostly with the facts it’s in first person. As this point of view relie heavily on the character personality (well you knew that but bear with me) subjective thoughts and feelings. And since you can decide your personality I’m worry about how that’s going to be handle. As a sarcastic, agressive,manipulative MC won’t have the same subjective first person point of view as a kind,peaceful and straightforward Mc.
Which lead me to another point. Mc seem to kind of have a little bit of predetermined personality. I will say casual,sarcastic,confident,I don’t care kinda attitude,maybe also a little of “I’m doing my own thing”?
Especially when MC say “screw the rule”,“I’ve got this” or multiple little thing in the choices (I quite like it tbh) like “I’m not blind”, “plant are a sucker for praise”,“awful team name by the way”,“Have I mention I hate losing?”,or Mc rolling their eyes at the Ros rivalry ect
It’s a nice touch but it does exclude all the Mc that are not like that. I sometime felt as my mc didn’t have the personality I imagined them to have.
My Mc is a gentle,serious,calm and straightforward girls that is also a little shy,always follow orders but is not competitive whatsoever and isn’t looking for attention at all. She is a daughter of Demeter.
So many of the thoughs that the mc had didn’t apply to my character at all. She is not sarcastic at all and is rather stuck up in fact.
As for suggestion ect :
- I think it’s a bit restrictive to link the creative to the responsible stats as you can be both after all.
- You should consider adding the choices to follow orders while improving others stats. As right now the only one is link to the sly stats. But an Mc can be charming/knowledgeable/strong and a follower that always stick to the plan.
- When you talk to your brother most of the choices seem to lean toward you not liking him. Adding a little more options were you genuinely like him would be nice.
- As well as just more reserved or sociable option in general. Like for reserved politely introducing yourself to Rayne or looking forward to work in group for an extraverted mc.
- I really love the concept of your godly parents influencing your personality. I think it might be better to have a choices to learn more before chosing one tho. As I choose Hephaestus at first but I didn’t like the fact that if you chose him you limp. So I had to go back.
- I do think it would be neat if your personality influence the first person point of view tho. But if you want to go in this direction it might be best to chose your godly parents first as they influenced you heavily.
- This is just small neat picks (do tell me if I’m annoying with all my propositions. I have zero other ideas to help improve the game, my writing level is low and I can barely use a computer for the life of me) but could we have the choice to chose our clothes? Or it not be describe I just don’t like having my clothes chosen for me. I’m a sucker for look so I always have a very precise image of what I wear. (That’s so optional that it’s really the most reasonable choice if you ignore this lol)
- Would it be possible to have a relaxing,minimalist style for our room?
- And last neat pick. Can we have an option to style our room acording to our godly parents but not steal from ours siblings XD. It’s just,well,my MC is annoyingly duty-bound so stealing is the last thing they’ve do.
All of this are just my humble suggestions (cuz I don’t know anything else).
A wip is a lot of work so take only what you wish ofc.
It’s interesting can’t wait for more
I’m a sucker for a good demigod story, and I’m so excited to have discovered your project!
Much like the posters before me, I really do like that our character is canonically not a “Big Three” demigod (even if the Big Three were parentage options, I probably still wouldn’t have chosen them lol) . I totally agree that the other Olympians don’t get enough representation!
I’m eager to see how the story unfolds!
@Kxng @Jeeshadow1 Thank you, both of you! Aphrodite’s always been one of the godessess I’ve really wanted to write for a while
but don’t tell the others I said that. I’m super glad you’re enjoying the demo.
@Asterya1 That is an incredibly valuable point that I saw more and more of as I continued writing
but was too lazy to actually nitpick. I have been trying to include as many different PC types as I can within the writing with little snippets, but I definitely have been making the PC lean towards my personality oops.
More on your other points.
- I agree, creative and reliable are not real antonyms (if you peak at the code, you can see that aggresive/peaceful also ran through the rudder quite a few different times). I do only want 5 personality stats, so I’ll have to play around with those.
- I really like this, thank you! I don’t realise a lot of things that I do, especially in respect to stats. They’re unfortunately a bit of an afterthought at times. I’ll be sure to pay more attention to them and have them influence the story more concretely.
- I also really like this. I guess, going in, I wanted to give Acker the impression of being unlikable/unliked by most, as he’s kind of like the overexcited puppy that people pass over. But adding genuine kindness options (to probably all of the sibling routes) is a good idea, and I’ll be sure to work them in as I can.
- Both good ideas. I’ll look into implementing them, as they shouldn’t be too difficult. And I low-key thought I already did, but looking back see I didn’t.
- I was going to add a blurb about each parent before choosing, but I was worried that would break immersion. Since I want parents to be near the beginning of what you pick, and I want them to be your choice, not predetermined, I might make a poll about that. Thank you!
- I agree, I was split on which to choose first. Maybe I’ll try neutralising the beginning or, depending on how things with Athena and Ares go, put that choice first.
- No, you’re not annoying, I promise! I love any and all criticism, and every single point you make is being added to my Zeus’ Dilemma Spreadsheet™. I might add in a choice that says “I throw on my usual outfit” in order to give the most choice, that’s a great suggestion.
- Yes. I might do the same thing with room as I did above, but I see how a relaxing/minimalist room is an obvious choice I missed (although I might substitute it in for basic, because I’m not loving basic right now).
- Yes of course! The PC was never “stealing” in the first place, but that’s the slang I use when I want to say borrowing. There I go again, throwing my own vocabulary in with my PC’s.
In all, thank you so much for your advice! Everything you said is completely useful and valid, and although I’m hesitant in saying I’ll incorporate all of it, it means a lot to me that you took time out of your day to write it. So thanks again!
I liked it so far but was kinda hoping I could be the child of hades or another one of the big three.
@Goddess , would you consider include Thanatos, the god of death, as one of the possible parents?
I agree that would be awesome and hes not a main god
I’d personally like Hecate to be included.
Also having “[redacted]” in place of a swear in a story like this is kinda silly, just put something like “damnable” imo.
haven’t read the demo yet but when you said you like Kent Z, I immediately gave you a heart! xD
Personally, I would love the option to have thanatos as a parent. It’s always interesting to be the child of the God of death. He’s just my favorite Greek god
Love the demo! <3
Playing as a demigod is pretty cool! Can’t wait to meet the other two ROs, I hope that they are much more approachable personality wise. But if I were to compare A and M, I like A more because they are more approachable in a way, and are loyal to their friends and partners which is a very attractive trait.