Zeus' Dilemma (WiP - Last Updated 02/01/21)

@Trazen4 Some ways to increase intellectual: Choose Mythology as your favourite class. If you choose the alone path in chapter two, then take a nap; if you choose A’s path, then just go into the study room; if you choose c’s path, then ask about Zeus. If you talk to k and m, choose to deflect the storm, if you don’t talk to them, then choose that you already have all of the plans ready with c. Should get you to the max points with an athena/demeter mc and use intelligence in the first question.
@redfield @clementine @Elemental @Empress_Nightmare Thanks for pointing those out! They’re fixed now!
@SiyuFox Yep! I’m working on making that fit in somewhere, since I only want five personality stats really.

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Nice game! I feel like I’m living out my Percy Jackson fantasies. :stuck_out_tongue: I like all the customization we have of which gods/goddesses we come from, and our personalities. I’ll definitely be following this!

Here's some errors I caught!

You open the door with ease, only to get met with your team’s frosty expressions. Nobody likes losing, and You school your face to match theirs. - lowercase ‘you’.
She’s on the other team, but you’re not worried that she won’t help me. Your mom being Aphrodite, you’ve always had a way with convincing people to do things for you. - Misuse of pronoun, should be “help you”.
Normally, you would try to pay attention, butyou feel your focus waver the more he speaks. - “but you” requires a space
“Of course, the two demigods stand in the eye of the hurricane, so to speak. As you get as close as you can go without all of your clothes flying off, you see them watching me. Analysing me.” - Pronouns

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@yankeescap Thanks for the errors! They’re fixed now.

As for a quick update:

I’ve accomplished a lot of chapter three, actually. I’d say that I’m about a third of the way done with it, which is pretty wild for about a week of effort. It’s definitely shaping up to be the shortest chapter I’ve had to date, which makes sense since there’s less difference between godly parents and other various things that made the other chapters really long. Obviously, a lot will have to be changed in edits and revisions, and there’s still a lot of choice, it’s just different.

Next week, I’m hoping to write another third of chapter three if possible. That would be, by my estimates, around 1k words a day, which is something I want to get into the habit of doing anyways. I also want to refocus on chapters two and the stats screen, because I haven’t looked at any of the suggestions other than small typos and stuff from the last demo. Furthermore, I need to add an inventory and some more hiding variables to the stats screen, so hopefully I can also do that next week.

And a poll:
So I post weekly updates on my Tumblr, but I’m not sure how many people follow it, or if people on the forum would even like updates. I’m probably not going to post every week because I really don’t like cluttering up my own thread, but I try and post biweekly anyway, so I wouldn’t be opposed to it. That said, I’m totally down to leave it up to a poll (I love polls).

Update posts?
  • Yes, give us biweekly updates.
  • No, no more updates.

0 voters

Edit: there will be biweekly posts, and I’ll answer any questions/comments I might get there. Have a great day!

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I REALLY love it! Looking forward to the next updates, I’m hooked! :smiley:

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Holy shit, this is good. I love the dynamic between my Dionysus!MC and Cyra. (Ironically, I named him Cyrus without looking at the character list beforehand).

Can’t wait to have Cyrus drive people mad and try too hard to sweep his best friend off her feet. And learn how to handle his liquor. That’s the number one priority right there.

Definitely looking forward to meeting the gods.

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Really enjoying this WIP definitely in my top 5 not counting sequels.

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Absolutely loving this WIP, but how some choices affect certain stats confuses me. Specifically how if you choose anything other than being excited for the party it lowers your Persuasion. I mean, I guess I can understand why for the “coerced by siblings” option but if you go the more neutral route of wanting to see off A, M, and K, I don’t see how that makes you less persuasive.

Anyway, I’m really looking forward to the next chapter!

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Bi-Weekly Progress Update 2/22

Y’all voted for these updates, so I’m here to deliver.

I finished the rough draft of chapter three, and a part of chapter four (by accident, kinda. I had to move it from chapter three to chapter four because it made more sense there). I’m also writing a novel (attempting to write a novel), so I want to finish a chapter of it before I go back and edit the third chapter. I fixed up chapter two, although not all of the edits will be public, and I also added the things to the stats screen that I wanted to, so everything’s pretty much done on that front.

For next week, I’m just going to take a break from IF and write my novel. After that, I’m probably going to start testing chapter three and seeing what I need to fix there. I’m going to be quieter (not that I’m really all that invested) in my social media over the next couple of months, so sorry if I don’t respond to any pressing concerns!

Responses:
@Gwen_SleepyHead @Alex12 Thank you so much for the kind words! I’m glad you’re enjoying the demo.
@almostinsane Aww thanks! I’m planning on adding an “are you sure you want this name” for RO names once I get… less lazy about it.
@cipher_M That was 110% an error on my part. It was supposed to decrease the extraverted stat, but I miswrote because I was fiddling with the names. That said, I am very bad at stats. I write then add them in in revision, so if they ever seem off again, please don’t hesitate to let me know! Thanks for the feedback.

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Thats okay take your time there is no rush

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?!?

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You better eventually tell us about the novel too I am happy for you and congrats :innocent::grin::grin:

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Hi I just read your game, I like it and will follow its progress :slight_smile: It reminded me of the saga Percy Jackson that I absolutely loved reading.

I just have a quick remark on the writing: most of the time the story is described using “you” (“You dart through the undergrowth, your feet soft on the ground in front of you”) but sometimes it transforms into an “I” point of view, most of the time only for a sentence or even less (“You and Kai are acquainted, we say hi to each other in the halls. That being said, we’re nowhere near as close as” or “As you get as close as you can go without all of your clothes flying off, you see them watching me. Analysing me”). I’ve seen it a few times during my playthrough, I suppose it’s because the choices are presented using the “I” POV (“I use my wit and knowledge of the land to subtly move closer to the gauntlet, focused solely on the prize.”…). It can be a bit perturbing and get the reader out of the story (at least for me it does :slight_smile: )
Oh I think there is also a paragraph missing in Chapter 2 when we find Ajax in the library and decide to say hi to him the text is:

“Hey, Ajax!” you call out,
That was… odd. You cast a quick glance at the section he was looking at. Giants. Specifically, the three hundred-handed ones.
(we were acquaintance if it can help)

Sorry if you’re already aware of it and edited it, if not I can try to look for the changes I found during my playthrough.

Good luck writing your novel and your game !! Looking forward to read it :smiley:

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I honestly love what i see. And personally i like that the choices aren’t one of the big three. I like the road less travelled options of parentage. I really hope this gets completed and releases as a hosted game.

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I’d just like to say I like the game.

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@AMER1CANN1NJA09 @TheGhost @Lorduprising Thank you for the kind words!
@Empress_Nightmare @Elemental Ahaha we’ll see. Maybe once it’s closer to completion XD
@Arthmet Thank you so much for catching those! I actually wrote the first two chapters completely in first person and then did a rehaul to second person, so I expected a lot of errors. Yours were very helpful, and they’ve been corrected. Also, for the second one, you’re right, I misspelled acquaintance (I’m serious, that word is the bane of my existence), so you didn’t get the rest of the text. Thanks for the catch!

Thanks for all the comments!

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I love this story.

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I actually wrote the first two chapters completely in first person and then did a rehaul to second person, so I expected a lot of errors

Oh I see, this explains a lot :slight_smile: I think it’s a good idea, the “you” perspective permits a better immersion in the story in my opinion, but yeah looks quite complicated to change everything.
I found some others small typos and “I” POV in my replays, I’m not sure to have catched them all :slight_smile:

Chapter 1

You did your part, I tried my hardest, and losing isn’t be all, end all.

Slowly, you edge down, finding a branch where you can stick your legs, and hugging the tree as close to my body as possible.

Nobody likes losing, and You school your face to match theirs

A large flag with a helmet on top of a skull hangs above your bed, the darker red clashing slightly with the lighter red of my walls.

I smile at him as he takes a few breaths, before opening his mouth to speak again

Normally, you would try to pay attention, butyou feel your focus waver the more he speaks.

Once I’m dry, you turn to face the perpetrator, taking her in fully.

You are one of the first to get down and drop your head, watching as the students around me follow your lead.

Thankfully, this seems to be a quite busy area, as you note from the various tracks that came before me .

She’s on the other team, but you 're not worried that she won’t help me

You altered your walls to match the theme, allowing them to change colour with my mood

Her lope-sided smile matches your own, and you get reminded once more about the nights we’ve spent sneaking over to each other’s dorms to “spill the tea” underneath the covers, laughing giddily all the while.

I stand, gently patting and thanking the tree.

Alright," you say, drawing myself up

Chapter 2

You and Kai are acquainted, we say hi to each other in the halls. That being said, we’re nowhere near as close as Kai and Mor are, and definitely not close enough to ask Kai what he and Mor were talking about.

As you get as close as you can go without all of your clothes flying off, you see them watching me. Analysing me.
Ajax acknowledges, as he looks at you for a moment, a shadow of an expression I can’t figure out on his face

You make your way to the front You crane your neck to watch as Ajax, Kai, and Mor all step through the cloud gate, waving one last farewell at the large gathering of demigods all waiting for them to leave

A blinding explosion sounds, not even a metre (meter ?) from where you’re standing, yet you don’t feel anything, except the brightness.

You take this opportune moment to flirt, giving her a Look

Ajax calls out to your retreating back. Someone’s hand lands on your shoulder and you turn to face the person. His hand immediately jumps off your shoulder as though scalded.

It’s not really a typo or an error, just a suggestion (and I’m most certainly the only one to have tilted on it so feel free to ignore it !!), but wouldn’t it be more logical to exchange the place of “Ajax” and “Someone” in the sentences ? Since we already know that this is Alya/Ajax/Al calling us, it looks like someone completly different is grapping our shoulder. Maybe telling us only at the last sentence that this is Ajax if you want to keep the mystery a bit ?
For example: Someone calls out to your retreating back. His hand lands on your shoulder and you turn to face the person. Ajax’s hand immediately jumps off your shoulder as though scalded.

I misspelled acquaintance (I’m serious, that word is the bane of my existence)

yeah I get you on this one, I actually had to check twice on how to write it, no word should have a “c” before a “qu” and they are too much “a” for a single word, silly french grammar strikes again haha

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Getting some Percy Jackson vibes from this :slight_smile:

Also, on the Ares path, I found this

“You take the links into my hand, testing each one for any weak spots with your fingers. You probably only have one chance before your energy becomes heavily exerted, and you want to make it count.”

I think you meant “your hand”.

Will update if I find anything else for you! Keep up the good work

edit: found another for you!

“You know what it means to put my blood, sweat, and tears into your work, and the pride that comes with a successful outcome, like this one.”

edit: I think role?

“You and Cyra were set as offensive, which plays a large roll in the strategy plan that Cyra created earlier.”

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It’s probably to late for this but assuming you write another book around Greek Mythology maybe you can include the option of being the children of Titans, like “lost children” that have been in slumber for along time(they don’t have to be fuckinf massive like the titans they can be like Zeus size), idk I just find titans pretty cool

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