No worries! Personal life always comes first, I’m just glad it is still being worked on!
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Hey im pretty sure all of us dont mind waiting
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Hey if you need help on the project I love ww2 and am willing to do it for free.
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Thanks for the offer, Arthur11, but right now there isn’t much to help with. The overt errors that made the next chapter crash have been fixed thanks to Quicktest and Randomtest, and now I have to play through it a dozen times or so to fix other things before passing the update to people here.
Outside of playtesting, there isn’t much that someone else could help with. Except the art, of course.
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Time to bite the bullet and put the draft of chapter 3 out to you bonny playtesters. This will need your practiced eye and insight because I’ve run out of steam.
Remember to include a sentence snippet when possible where bugs, grammatically dicey prose, and questionable decisions arise so that changes can be made swiftly. Thank you ever so much for taking the time to play and test.
https://dashingdon.com/play/allen-gies/ww2-armored-warfare/mygame/
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Nice to see a new chapter!
General Comments
Chapter 3 was a nice change of pace from the previous action, especially with it starting on a train – that’s an underrated part of WW2 logistics in terms of pop history. It felt a bit grittier than the previous one, what with the potential for war crimes (which I won’t go into), in addition to how the first part shows all the endemic stealing and scrounging that comes with an army – with the PC potentially being a practitioner or a victim of it.
The Vichy infantry riding desant on the tank was good too. They’re overlooked and through the small bits so far you do get to look at the breadth of men – from the gentlemanly Bisset who fights the Americans but is seemingly happy to be allies again, to Baume, a bitter and distrustful man. Of course, out of the scope of all this, are the machinations between the US, UK, Darlan, de Gaulle and Giraud; the fallout of Operation Catapult and the recent scuttling of the French fleet at Toulon. These are all way out of the PC’s pay grade, but the sentiments of the French fading as a great power and being used as a pawn by their allies regardless what side they’re on trickle down to the man on the ground.
A small thing, but I’d reckon it would be cool if French colonial troops to show up in the background (whether Vichy or Free French) alongside metropolitan French troops, if only because of their overlooked contribution.
I like the recurrent comments throughout that the Americans are generally all new to this, while the French, British and other allies have been have at it for a while. While the recurring issues of the PC’s tank being sent off alone could potentially seem a bit contrived given how often it might occur, the inexperience of the American forces is worth both noting and showing. I don’t recall if the options to comment about Knox’s leadership qualities were in the earlier version, but I think that was quite a good addition. Both in connecting the PC and their crew to the formation as a whole, but also in showing the lack of institutional knowledge in how to operate.
I felt the scene with the Italian convoy could have played out a bit more. It’s good that there’s a variety to run, hide or fight, but I felt the fighting was a bit over and done with. While I did nail the Italian assault gun, it would have been nice to light up the rest of the convoy rather than have them escape, or even just look over the Semovente for any loot/survivors. It felt a bit underwhelming given all the build-up (but I guess that’s war for you). But then, it’s just the start of the chapter, so that might be an unnecessary diversion.
On a different note, I’ve no real idea as to what the PC’s skills (leadership, logistics etc) do. Perhaps there should be more obvious opportunities for them to come into play? Right now it seems incentivised to build up gunnery so as to ensure you land shots, but other stuff doesn’t really seem to come up so long as you land shots. Which makes sense, but at the same time has the potential to pigeonhole playstyles.
One thing I’d like to see more of is the PC operating with the rest of the platoon. Especially if you end up going ahead to Casablanca in the earlier chapters, you spend a lot of time operating alone. I think the most suspenseful bit so far, in my opinion, is when the PC and another tank (either Knox or Lintz) go up against enemy opposition; there’s the goal of trying to keep the other tank up, which raises the stakes. As it is, the infantry aren’t given enough attention for there to be an emotional impact from them getting cut up, whereas the other tankers are established as characters – if only somewhat. But in general those scenes force a decision of whether one should prioritise the state of the battlefield, allies or oneself, which I think is always a good thing.
Glimpsing at the thread I understand there’s been some talk of there being a linear improvement in the “quality” of the enemy i.e. Vichy to Italians to Germans. But perhaps there should be opportunities for the PC to find “tougher” opponents (compared to the rest in the chapter), just as there are options sit back.
For instance, in Chapter 3 I assume we’d largely be facing Italians. But if they play hyper-aggressively, take risky unique opportunities or pass/choose certain options they’d end up in a scenario where’d they face tougher enemies. Say some Bersaglieri snipers with a Solothurn AT rifle, or a Marder III which has gotten lost. After the emotional reward of beating tougher enemies there’d be an opportunity for extra loot, a boost in career, a future callback or something like that. Some way to incentivise players to take risky options rather than to play it conservatively.
The German bomber scene is kind of what I’m thinking of – a detour that opens up more options including a potentially challenging combat. But I was hoping for something a bit more involved than what you get if you manage to kill the Semovente in the first shot. Perhaps the Italians also have a howitzer on a portee truck or something which poses a threat, just something so that they don’t all immediately run away after the Semovente gets taken out.
As an aside, on the one hand I would like to see more equipment variety, but at the same time I get that there’s not much to go on. Anti-tank guns and pre/early-war tanks have already shown up already, as well as infantry and crew served weapons. But perhaps infantry armed with (AT) rifle grenades, armoured cars, portee trucks etc could show up? These don’t necessarily have to be challenging, but I guess the point would be to keep the player uncertain of what enemies they’d be facing (which could give a reason to use observation more, so as to correctly identify which enemies are the real threat). And of course even if they can’t hurt the player’s tank they can hurt the player’s allies too.
Bugs etc.
Chapter 1
You’ve got a good excuse for the delay. Saving livings, fighting the enemy, coordinating with the infantry, clearing a logistical path, etc.
Saving lives?
You slide in another round of HE AP and let Mendoza get to work.
I had ordered Mendoza to use HE, but here it shows up as “HE AP”.
The machine gun continues to hammer against your shoulder, the barrel smoking from the heat. Mendoza can’t seem to line up a shot. Nelson opens fire, firing in lean arcs thanks to his cleared visor,
The French assault collapses and the survivors go limping back to their lines.
This is after taking point with the infantry company and advancing when the tank comes under the Jean Bart’s fire. Is there something missing?
The smoke from the burning artillery piece has barely settled when a French machine gun stutters.
I chose to charge the artillery piece and the tank’s described as nudging it over – should it have caught fire?
The shot is an easy one. Mendoza pulls the trigger, the FT-17 explodes. Hatches are thrown open on the ‘Prince of Thebes’ as Sergeant Lintz and his crew scramble for their lives. After a few long, terrible moments, they reach the safety of an open bakery.
This seems somewhat disjointed, in that the attention is on the FT-17, then switches right to Lintz’s crew.
Sergeant Lintz and his crew are busy figuring out what they’ve got left, which includes two loaves of fresh bread that they willingly share out.
“You Wilson?” Lieutenant Knox asks as he drops down off the Chicago Style’s hull. “Good to finally meet you.”
“Thanks,” Wilson asks. “Same. Call me Sam.”
This also feels disjointed, given that Wilson isn’t given any intro. I also don’t think I met him in my run too – I met the unnamed infantry lieutenant on the beach first, then Dearborn at the French control tower, then Stern with the heavy weapons teams.
Needed maintenance takes up a big chunk of time. There is sand everywhere.
Near midnight, a pair of jeeps arrive and drop off salty crates of ammo and battered cans of fuel. You’ll get a share of that, you’re certain.
There’s a big area of blank space before this. Too many *line_breaks?
Glancing at the code, it also seems that killed_the_ft_17_casablanca isn’t changed, so that if you take out the FT-17, Bisset’s lines don’t change (as there are variations for different states for killed_the_ft_17_casablanca).
Chapter 3
I get the same var_xp_a appearing in the text as in the comment above when assigning xp points to the crew.
Leftenant Fletcher
Is this in imitation of his British accent? If it is, perhaps a comment that it sounds like “leftenant” instead – there’ll probably be (other) nitpickers who’ll say it’s spelt “lieutenant”.
The {Sugar Pie was never in good shape, though it is unlikely to stay that way
Curly bracket shows up in text.
General/stylistic comments
A stylistic thing, but perhaps Jean Bart should be italicised? For that matter, should the tanks’ nicknames be italicised too? Sometimes there are single quotation marks, sometimes there aren’t.
Sometimes “MG”, as in “bow mg”, isn’t always italicised.
There also seems to be quite a lot of page breaks at times when it isn’t warranted. At the start of Chapter 3, where the PC observes their crew, each crewmember gets a page of their own – despite the description being two lines or so. Perhaps this could be combined into one page, to prevent the need for repetitive clicking? e.g. it’s currently like this:
Mendoza sits atop the train car, silent as always while he stares up at the ominous and dark clouds. He’s been that way ever since Casablanca.
Next
Then a new page, and a similarly-short segment for Owens, when they could all be combined into one.
Anyhow, rambling over. Glad to see this updated!
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@Manaxaggd Okay, that’s a good one. 
I’m fluent in two different coding languages because of my work with burden of Command, and while they are similar, they are not exactly compatible.
@Thfphen110 - Thanks. With luck, and a little help from people here, I’ll keep some momentum going into the new year.
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oh thats on my wishlist on steam. added january 2019.
it is simmilar in coding? what language?
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Having never heard of Burden of Command, I’m now about to buy it as soon as it’s available because of how insanely stacked the development team is.
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So, can you show us exactly how many experiences our crew have, so we can spend them more efficiently ?
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Just played chapter three. One thing I really liked about this chapter, and the previous ones, are the slow moments between the fighting. While the battles show the direct importance of supplies, it’s the minor mentions of things like wine being in the first aid kits or crates of coke that add character to the background soldiers.
I really liked the interactions with Baume too, and how his actions show the indifferent and ruthless attitude he has after fighting for years. I agree with @Thfphen110 about the convoy action – perhaps it’s because I’ve been able to spend XP for my crew every chance given, but the fight itself was rather quick. I also thought it was odd how we couldn’t deal with the plane once the convoy was stopped.
I’m late to the romance discussion, but I also like the idea of sending letters back home. Not only would it add to the MC’s backstory, but then even those who don’t romance anyone could still send messages to family or friends.
Typos
Chapter 1 and 2
The Tank reaches the house and the treads cease to slip.
“Tank” should be lowercase.
“Ironsides,” Nelson says without pause. "Because she’s got them.
Add a quotation mark at the end.
“How’d we do, Lt?”
Should “Lt” have a period after it here?
Take the telescopic sight
Add punctuation at the end.
"Don’t get them mixed up with our own because we won’t be able to understand the accent. assemble.
Capitalize “assemble” and add a quotation mark at the end.
“We going to war, LT?”
Should “LT” should be lowercase and have a period after it?
"And in turn we’ll keep them off you so that you can make things work.
Add a quotation mark at the end.
Nelson opens fire, firing in lean arcs thanks to his cleared visor,
The rest of the sentence seems to be missing.
You find Nelson wrist deep in the radio. staring at the radio.
You might want to check the variables here.
Weddings, funerals… anything in a church really.
Add a quotation mark at the end.
Nod.
(This is after Knox remarks that the engineers aren’t sharing their breakfast) – it says verbosity slightly decreased in the narrative, but it’s how direct the MC is that changes.
The ‘Prince of Thebes’ rushes the enemy machine gun,
I noticed that sometimes the ‘Prince of Thebes’ has single quotation marks and sometimes it doesn’t.
The enemy tank’s turret swings toward
The rest of the sentence is missing here too.
Mendoza lines up a shot and, at point blank he can’t miss.
I’d move the comma after “shot”.
But with the Ironsides stationary, the enemy has an easy shot.
I’m slightly confused here – I chose the option “Pour on the speed and attempt an overrun!”, and at first the Ironsides begins to accelerate, but then the narration (and crew) act as if we’re stationary.
OIder men in suits.
I think I mentioned this last time, but the “I” in “OIder” should be an lowercase “L”.
Chapter 3
(Observation slightly increased, three XP spent) one XP spent)
This happened when I was spending Mendoza’s and Nelson’s XP.
The clatter of the tracks shift and draw you out of your reverie.
This sentence repeats twice.
“My men need a place to sleep”
Add punctuation at the end.
“They both fit in one hand” Nelson says as he drops his kit in an open space, “and can be thrown.” “I suppose that’s true,” Mendoza says and stares over at the crates.
At a comma after “hand”, add a line of space between Neslon and Mendoza’s dialogue.
“At the airfield” Leftenant Fletcher says as he sweeps a hand north and west.
Add a comma after “airfield”.
And amid it all, is the !Ironsides, with hatches open and gear spilled out.
Remove the exclamation mark before the tank’s name.
“It is, as you say, a dog-fight?” Sergeant Baume says between puffs.
I had Baume put away his lighter, so he shouldn’t be smoking.
“I was about to suggest that myself,” Sergeant Baume says and calls out to his squad. They check their weapons as you prepare to start up the Ironsides. “The men need practice.”
Perhaps this line should change if you ask Baume for his opinion.
The {Ironsides has been carefully maintained, though the stop at Tebessa hasn’t done much for it.
Remove the curly bracket before the tank’s name
After a simple focus of the lenses, t becomes clear that it a German bomber.
“t” should be “it”.
Call it twenty men.
Add a quotation mark at the end.
Looking forward to chapter four! 
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@Drakeye - Glad to hear it. We’re plugging along to finish it, but it will only be done when it is done.
Some of the language is in Python, which I don’t know, the interactive fiction is in INK, which was chosen largely because it expresses well in Python. Wish it had been in choicescript, but there were compatibility issues.
@TheGhost - Yeah, we have a great development team. I’m working with Steve Overton right now on a scenario and the man has an eye for tactics that is beyond 20/20. Plus we’ve got excellent people to set up the voice arrangements, and a composer who is enthused.
@Manaxaggd - That’s a good idea. Would you want that expressed as a number or as a descriptor?
“Nelson has a lot to learn, but he’s getting there.”
"Mendoza is just about tapped for revelations’
(Nelson has 3 XP left to spend)
(Mendoza has one last experience point to spend)
@expectedoperator - Wow. That’s some stellar work. Like @Thfphen110 , you went out of your way. I’ll be working through your list and his through all of Saturday.
And a number of the typos turned out to stem from bugs, which leads to a double improvement in places. Especially where it concerns the in_motion variable.
As for the story, yeah, it needs work. Putting in Colonial French troops fighting alongside metropolitan forces would make for good juxtaposition later.
However, being able to take out the Semovente with a single shot does seem to be a bit of a letdown. Didn’t realize it would be that easy… but that’s why playtesting is important. To this end having Bersaglieri snipers armed with a Solothurn AT rifles spill out of the truck (really just two crews, but only one is seen) would provide a danger plus scene if the PC straight up fights and wins. There’d be more risk, a need to maneuver, a use for Baume’s men, and XP as a reward.
Taking a token from the burning Semovente might be worthwhile too, as well as displaying the horrors of war and the fate of unlucky tankers.
I also like the idea of a Marder III getting lost and running across the PC. There’s an opportunity for role-playing in there, as well as a fight.
So many good ideas. Writing them down now.
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I would suggest number ( seriously, I want both )
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Im thinking of a tiger h1 or a prototype of it maybe later you can come across one. Say like it has it like transmission issues or something that and theres german poinerers there trying to blow it up to take out for it doesnt fall into enemy hands
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Playing through the newest chapter, and here is what I found so far:
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Not sure what happened here, yet Piazza is my mechanic even if Nelson wasn’t killed in action. Was Nelson replaced or transferred?
-
I decided to steal supplies from the camp, and I went alone, yet I could select options which involved Mendoza. Shouldn’t they be unavailable?
-
I approached the crashed bomber slowly but not too slowly, then attacked the Italians by charging them, then destroyed the assault gun; at this point, I thought that we would head to the bomber? Because we carried on to our destination after this
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@NJG - Well, those all need to be fixed. The trick will be finding where the errant code came from.
This is my bane for writing these. The more complex the stories are, the more bugs like this creep in. Really have to cut down on this somehow…
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I’ve gotten a little stuck while writing the scene with the S-18 anti-tank rifles. These 20mm cannon can penetrate the tank’s armor, but only up close.
Other options aside, in one scene the tank is trying to flank behind the enemy and throws a track. The tank isn’t in direct combat with the Italians yet, but right now, I have only two options.
- Get out, back the tank up, and fix the track.
- Prepare for an attack by the Italians.
- (Something strong as an option)
- (Something that requires an uncommon previous choice.
- (Something that comes from a rare previous choice)
Entertaining ideas…
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for #3…
(also this might totally destroy the narrative as a tank game, but who knows? maybe its a low point for the MC)
Rig the tank to explode. escape with your buddies, when the italians get close, boom.
Cue scene where you have to escape back to your lines
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Hmm, so we’re immobilized. Perhaps…
-
salvage as much equipment as we can, abandon the tank, and retreat at best speed towards friendly lines
-
if there are friendly units, then… somehow call for help? Our radio is only for recieving, but we have signal flags for communication, right?
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