Writing a story


#1

Hi everyone this is Dude. I have been on the forms for a while and have enjoyed playing recent games that people have made. I have started writing a book in the mystery genre and if anyone is interested in reading here’s the link:

http://www.wattpad.com/story/9606899-mystery-of-holmes-university-murders

Let me know how you found the story and any tips to improve it or any questions you would like to ask about the book please let me know. I hope you enjoy :slight_smile:


#2

I like the initial idea very much. I like the way you describe things, they give me a good idea of what the character looks like. You haven’t introduced a million characters in the prologue, making it relatively easy to keep track of who’s who. As it should be during a mystery, the turns of the plot were unexpected. The concept is rather brilliant.

But with the good comes the bad, and unfortunately the execution is mediocre.
“He thought…” followed shortly by “Kuzo is a 17 year old…” and then goes back to past tense. Changing tense unless one of the characters is recieving a flashback is a little difficult to read. You introduce the characters separately to the actual writing as well and personally I find that painful to read. It is possible to weave characteristics into their regular day before the complication starts. Your grammar is also a little off key.

However if you manage to fix the errors you could have a brilliant story on your hands :smiley:


#3

@Aquos_Boost thanks for taking the time to read and comment. Glad that you like it so far and I will do my best to fix the errors.


#4

Hey @dude

I will read it just been really busy but I will make sure I will post