[WIP] Wonderland Noir, Book 1 (Prologue+Chapter 1 Complete!)

I’ve received some messages from readers stating that the ending scene of Chapter 1 is…too much. Indeed, it wasn’t intended to remain and was written during a particularly bad bout of self loathing.

Should I replace it?

  • Yes.
  • No.
  • Rework it.

0 voters

I’ve had a craving for Wonderland content lately and lookie that! It’s mixed with Private Investigator shenanigans! It’s hard to put anything to say because it really sucked me in :kissing_closed_eyes: but it IS very interesting. It was a bit confusing to me, some stuff, but hey I’m usually slow at some stuff so…

Also, I can’t describe the feeling, but I always feel a bit of mmm, ominousness(?) whenever I look at the stats page. The ‘There are no angels in this world’ is really really intriguing, it just gives a sense of haunting to me and gives me a bit of heebeejeebies

hmm well i dunno if this is spoilers but well its in Chapter 1 so is the Castoff House out in the public and doesn’t try to hide or does it only appear to specific people like the MC?? Sorry if its a dummy questionnn

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Thanks for taking a look at my story! What in particular was confusing for you? Sometimes I struggle with painting a clear picture because, as the author, its can be challenging to separate what I know/have only hinted at from what I’ve clearly stated. If that makes sense? I can always clarify a few things in the text, if necessary. It should be a twisting forest path, not an impenetrable stone labyrinth.

Not a dumb question at all! The Castoff House can be a bit shy. Its never there when you’re looking for it. You couldn’t ever write directions to it, but if you take the sunless alleyway on the way back from the hospital, it’ll be at the end. If you’re walking across a tall bridge, thinking about what it would be like to jump, you’ll find its doors open no matter which way you descend.

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Oooh I’m sorry, but I’ve had all my questions answered so far after another reread hehe, but I promise I’ll go running here if I have anymore questions! Besides, I can’t properly word my questions unless they are fresh from my thoughts ToT. This is a really nice offer though, since sometimes there are some stuff/context I can’t pick up unless directly stated :smiling_face_with_tear: sooo I’ll drop by when I’m confused about some stuff, but that doesn’t mean you don’t describe everything so beautifully yet being understandable~~

Hm, hm okay! So it comes by only when you need it to stray away from doing something potentially harmful just to feel a certain feeling, like feeling death or jumping off — but it won’t show up as easily if you only want it, kinda like preventing addiction ig, but ah, MC is kind of a regular aren’t they o-o?

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Things are going a bit slow. I ended up dreaming an ending that I like much better than the one I originally planned. I think I’ll focus on the degradation of emotions over time, such as the strength of love. cough cough. Figured that might resonate with people a bit more, but what do I know?

Also, I think I’ll add some character customization at the intro, with variable personality traits that change the prose. People like that, right? Also, your detective will be able to be named. Sort of surprised I forgot about that, honestly.

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