This looks and sounds awesome! I love dark fantasy! I can’t wait to give it a go when I have time. I like your characterisation too
… I really need to remember that I should read a WIP’s description all the way to the end before playing… Now I’m hopelessly in love with my emotionally unavailable Keeper…
I’ve realised I can’t actually edit the OP because my member rank is too low, but I wanted to add that I updated the game to version 1.2!
The update includes some additional content (one of four paths), all sorts of bug/typo/code fixes, and additional character customisation.
Now I’m hopelessly in love with my emotionally unavailable Keeper
I’m sorry! There’s ‘stuff’ planned for Shea (as well as Elexis), but it takes place later on in the story.
Saw tis WIP yesterday, then the thread was gone. Hey, I was afraid I will have to roam on Twiddle or whatever . So glad, its back! Woot!
I think it’s a very good story and I was totally immersed and wanna see moar!!
If you can’t edit your original post, you can ask the mods to change it to a Wiki so you can do that
Just go @XXXXX and one of them will show up and help.
Good luck with your story and looking forward to moar!
Oh, by the way! You can reply to multiple people in one post (and avoid clogging the thread) just by @/ing them.
very promising WIP! it was fun and interesting
I like the ROs, they all have such different personalities
@SourPeaches Oh, thank you! I’ll try to be less spam-y from now on, haha.
@E_RedMark Thanks for the tip! Yes, it got taken down by the anti-spam bot for a hot minute.
Love your writing style
It was a nice read ~
I love the option to make Shea choking with our answer to Ellexis. It’s a nice touch.
I’m now waiting to meet the ROs. ~
The story looks really interesting but I have a few questions mainly about the apperance of the MC after being bound to the chosen monster. Do they undergo some sort of transformation during battles? And if so how does their monstrous side look like? Especially when it comes to the cockatrice, is the MC a complete monster or they look more like a hybrid?
Wishing you like and awaiting next updates:blush:
Well, I’m sold. Your writing style really grabs a person. I’m definitely following this one(though probably on Tumblr mostly) because it’s an interesting concept and I like what’s there so far.
Love this can’t wait for the full book
This is really awesome so far, world building is really interesting and I like the MC options and characters who’ve been introduced. Look forward to seeing more.
Oooh, yess, adding to thissss. Does the MC look like a monster/hybrid 24/7 or is there times where they can transform into their bounded side?
It is pretty good.
Spoiler-y stuff regarding the MCs powers/entity and the role of the Keeper
It hasn’t really been explained in-story (I should probably add like a glossary in-game, haha), but once an entity has been Bound to a human, the helvling’s Keeper is in charge of keeping it ‘suppressed’. Using words of power, the Keeper is able to lessen the wards keeping the entity contained, unleashing more and more of their power in increments. This is usually only done during battles.
There are five of these ‘stages’ in total. Most of the time, the MC is in stage one, also known as Ayn. In this stage, the MC mostly looks human with no discernable monster characteristics. They might display quick flashes of inhuman features (depending on their entity) if agitated/angry, such as lengthening of their nails/teeth, skin hardening, eyes changing colours briefly, etc.
In the latter stages, the MC will very much look like a monster.
In short: for now, during this portion of the game, the MC pretty much looks like a human.
That’s definitely incorrect. Thanks for pointing them out!
I absolutely LOVE this, so excited for more!
Putting my comments in one of these little drop down box things since they’re kinda long lol
In the choice where Elexis is arriving, all the options involve MC initiating conversation with Shea. Having chosen a hostile relationship, I would’ve rather had my character choose not to speak to him (or her, but I chose him), but be able to have one of those three emotional reactions nonetheless. The same goes for when MC asks if Elexis is an acquaintance of Shea’s – I felt like the idea I had in my mind for my character wouldn’t do that. It’s not a big deal but it stood out to me when I was reading.
Do you think there could be an option for the MC to take on their previous keeper’s last name? Like maybe the previous keeper decided to do that and then the MC never changed it for whatever reason, particularly I was thinking because of a feeling of disconnect from humanity and the significance of choosing a last name to me equates to recognizing their own humanity and place in a functioning human society, if that makes sense.
And then overall, I just felt like there were a couple of opportunities to have added in a few choices to further develop the MC’s personality (like when they are discussing with Elexis and Shea maybe they could choose a few questions to ask, or have the choice of how hearing that the Order is involved makes them feel. Small things that really wouldn’t impact plot but would help with personal character development if that makes sense.
I am not sure if you are already planning on doing more choices like this later, but I played through the demo a few times and explored different choices and it seemed to me that there weren’t any immediate impacts after making a choice, like the text immediately after you’ve made a choice could be customized to fit whatever choice, again not really in any significant way but just to provide the played with some “feedback” that like, their choice has been acknowledged.
And I mean obviously this is only the beginning of the demo and a lot of the things I said are probably not very possible or convenient for you to add right now, or these might be things you are already planning to do in future updates, I am just super excited for more, I really like your writing style and with how short the demo is I feel like I have a good grasp on the few characters we’ve seen, so I am definitely looking forward to more updates as you continue to work on it! (:
This is my favourite type of story
2- MC with a dark/tragic backstory
3- MC who is kinda an anti hero
4- MC who is an outcast
5- Dark themes
6- Great and intersting characters/ROs
I love everything about this and can’t wait for more
Those are all very valid!
Let me try to answer them for you; I marked some sections as spoilers.
- I can definitely see what you mean. I tried to keep most MC fairly neutral, although they do have some history with Shea, of course. There are currently two or three points in the game where the MCs reactions/internal thoughts differ depending on their relationship with Shea, but I’ll definitely work on adding more of them!
- Their previous Keeper never gave them a name and simply referred to them as helvling or other derogatory names. The MC was also in a very bad state mentally and hadn’t yet learned to properly ‘human’, for lack of better word.
- I’ll definitely try to add more choices for players to interact with the story through conversations/interactions!
- You’re right that the beginning is fairly straightforward; the first major branching choice is currently at the end of the current demo, where you can decide on how you want to spend your evening/night. Later on, there are certain events where the story branches off majorly (probably around chapter 3/4) and I’m also planning on writing multiple endings.