[WIP] The Passenger (Full Alpha Demo is Out 8/8/2019)

I like your writing style. I think you’ve done a good job of capturing how a crafty eldritch creature would behave should they ever be in this situation.

If I’m understanding this right, the MC chooses their name at 8 years old. What exactly were they called before that point? I understand some characters would want to change their given names, but perhaps that would have more impact if they actually had a given name before hand.

Edit: I should clarify. What I meant was “what exactly do the humans surrounding the MC call them before they change their name?”

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My guess is that the alien was called “(slithery alien screech)” because that is how eldritch beings pronounced their names, that or a Lovecraftian noise.

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Hi! I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed reading this!

I couldn’t put it down once I started :slight_smile:

My MC is going to be the preppiest, most charming, eldritch being this plane of existence.

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Since the only ones that change names are trans/nb MCs, that’s headcanon territory.

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I think what @Kamer is getting at is that it’s odd to not see our MC’s name until that point in the story, but I guess it kind of makes sense.

Like, The Eldritch Creature :tm: doesn’t want to acknowledge such a lowly name, until it is forced to…

But I do kind of think that would happen earlier in life - perhaps even in toddler years. It could even be an excuse for MC to “throw a temper tantrum” about their assigned name. Maybe give the reader a chance to change the “automatic” name at that point?

Older Sister: Come on, then, (Name)! We’re getting ice cream.

3YO MC: My name isn’t (Name)! It’s (player-choice)!!! Call me (player-choice)!!!

Eldritch Being in MC’s Head: I may not remember my own name, but at least this is a step above…(Name)…eugh…

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I did it that way to keep the gender and name options close to each other, and because I wanted the toddler stage (4 years) to focus on the fact that there wasn’t a dad around (or another caretaker for that matter), so I decided to code the name picking at the same time for all MCs.

The fact that it happens at age 8, has to do with Livvy sensing her little sibling is bottling something up, and clumsily attempting to get them to open up. If MC is trans/nb she sorts of thinks that was it. If after listening to the story, they act with apathy, she gets a little creeped out. If neither of those things happen, then she waves it away as her sibling being different.

So that was my reasoning behind it, but if enough players want the ex name to show up and then to change it themselves, I’ll see where to add it (in the future because I’m lazy I’m trying to churn out CH 2)

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Hey @pimenita this game is looking pretty bloody good chief. Keep up the good shit ma dude.

And that’s the depth of my comment.

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I love this story! I laughed out loud several times. This story is definitely going on my watch list.
Excellent job!

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Can’t believe what I read was only the prologue + 1 chapter. It was so much fun!

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every day without my MC having seizures and my waifu Roach is a sad one…

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If Roach turned to be the Hunter, and we’re boyfriends/girlfriends, I think I will swoons in a good way.

Summary

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Oh hey Agretsuko.
Also I don’t think she is the hunter since that guy ain’t even in the galaxy yet

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Happy Valentine’s Day update :grinning:

I’m really interested in your thoughts about this chapter. And as always, any misspellings, odd phrasing, code errors, let me know please. In other news, summer’s kicking my ass—fall can’t come fast enough, if you ask me—so chapter 3 may or may not suffer because of that. Bear with me.

TW: mentions of drug use; mild cursing; sex themes; it gets gory; descriptions of corpses rotting away. I think that’s it. Have fun :slight_smile:

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Chapter 2!?! The Didact is pleased with your progress, Warrior-Servant.

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Well, that chapter gave me everything I could have ever wanted. :heart_eyes: That pre-sex scene with Roach was completely iconic.

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Roach is a snacc.

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I really love this concept. The gross supernatural mixed with cute little town gives me almost Stranger Things vibes. But BETTER because we get to play as a monster. So imaginative. Your writing flows really well. I often forgot I was reading and just became immersed in the story. I love our “family”. I hope we get some more scenes with the mom. At the moment I don’t think there’s enough to feel any attachment to her.

I’ve only played it once through, so I’m sure I’ve not seen everything but I just needed to gush a bit because I love this so much.

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Also, pimenita. If you don’t mind me asking. When our MC mentioned that they were “enormous” in size, is there a definitive size that you have set? If so, how big is our MC in their true form. And if not, is it up to the player’s interpretation?

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Big enough to eat the Burj Khalifa and have room for dessert. But aside from that, headcanon away.

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Uhhhmmm… wow. That’s awesome, yet terrifying. Will we eventually shed our mortal shell and fight the Hunter in the future?

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