WIP - The Extraxtion (Not a Zombie Game-But still a game with a virus)

The premise of the game is that a new bioweapon is released on the World that turns everybody that inhales too much of
it essentially becomes an aggressive maniac that wants to kill everybody. But the bioweapon also excretes a certain gas so that those infected don’t attack each other. But these aren’t like zombies, slow and without coordination. The infected in this game can use weapons, turn doorknobs, and even speak.

I am not far in the game, in fact I am yet to get to any action. I just wanted a few opinions, both harsh or not are appreciated, on my introduction. The demo is below…


1 Like

Sounds… Interesting, to say the least. But fun. I’ll have to check it out.

Interesting premise, no question about that. Do you have the story planned out? I am just curious what the overall plot is moving beyond this bio-weapon attack.

Your writing is pretty good and I like what I read. Some spelling issues, mostly looks like what comes from typing quickly and just missing a letter. Some repetition issues, particularly in the beginning where almost every sentence began with ‘you’ and some words are used close together, like ‘adjust’ and ‘realize’. But that seems a little nit-picky and not something you really need to worry about at this moment.

Two things you might want to check out:

I chose to just ride past the woman with car trouble to go home and feed my dog. The text said that I rode past, then it told me that I was looking at the engine with no idea what I was doing. Didn’t really make any sense, so maybe there was an *else statement missing somewhere in there?

Secondly, this statement here:

“You never was the most mechanically inclined and after you crashed my bike you learned this quickly. you worked for days to get those tires on but when every tool looks the same, you soon had my dad just fix it for me.”

My and me are not what you are looking for here, so just keep an eye out for that. Also that ‘was’ has got to go :stuck_out_tongue:

I look forward to seeing what you do with this, sorry that I can’t really comment much on the game/story plot right now, but I will certainly do so as you continue to update.

First and foremost:

It’s “Extraction”, not “Extraxtion”

Will get more detailed feedback for you when I have a chance.

I like the premise (I’m kind of a sucker for survival games in general), and the demo seems pretty neat.

One issue: when you’re looking through your stuff/figuring out your stats, one of the choices is about failing to sweet-talk a lady and something after that about a past girlfriend, and there doesn’t seem to be a male equivalent. It’s probably best to let the player choose which gender they’re interested in so they aren’t defaulted into being a straight man or a gay woman.

Fixed all of the errors listed here, (The specific ones mentioned) and added an inventory system. The inventory system is mainly for later, but whatever. Here’s the new update.
Edit 2: Got it. https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/112702516/web/The%20Extraction/index.html

… after being attended to by a non-professional nurse out a 40-year-old virgin’s wet dreams, I walk out -admiring- her number (ooo, what a sexy number 5!), until I’m distracted by vomit. I then determine that the vomit is because a change in season (spring = puke¿) and accept my evidenceless, nonsensical explanation. I think I hit my head too hard, and need to be cleared by someone besides Dr. Love’s RN; she couldn’t even tell my gender…

Yes @ADNox, you have summarized my game well. Thank you for your criticism, at least you played it, I’ll take that as a good sign. As for some of my reasoning, well your character isn’t a doctor. And about the nurse, she was supposed to be that of a “wet dream” as you say.

Edit: Newest Update here. https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/112702516/web/The%20Extraction/index.html

"You begin to flip through the pages and you reach your elementary years. You see a picture of you holding a trophy. The trophy was for winning… "
Should probably removed “winning” at the end of the sentence to avoid awkward wording when you choose “helping charity”. You can’t really win at that, no matter how competitive you may be.

“It was prom season during your last year at high school. You and your significant other were doing fine and you decided to take her for a walk and ask them to prom.”
Female pronoun slipped by.

As for the nurse not recognizing the pc’s gender, you could reword it so it’s her asking if YOU know your own gender. It is pretty routine to ask people who’ve had head injuries simple questions to check how bad the trauma is. Not usually their own gender, but hey, whatever works.

looks good so far. i like how you made it so you cant cancel out stats in the intro.

After choosing male: “‘And a handsome one at that,’ the nurse winks at you. You allow a small grin to sneak onto your face as you realize that even when you can’t think straight, you’re still gettin’ the ladies.”
Again, try to avoid dialogue that states or implies which gender the pc is interested in without the players’ input. The best way to go about this is to either avoid mentioning it entirely, or include an option somewhere that lets the player choose and make changes accordingly.

The way you place in the specific profession of ‘defense attorney’ rather than just ‘lawyer’ makes me think you’re referencing Phoenix Wright. … Hm…

I have to agree with the people above though, especially the one @ADNox said. The MC’s been passed out for a while and the nurse couldn’t see what your char’s gender is?

It may be kind of overused, but I suggest to go for am inner monologue/dialogue instead where it goes something like:

"And what an attractive…

Man you are!
Woman you are!"

Or something like that. But then again, just my two cents. It’s your game after all.

May I suggest something less errr “awkward” for your character generation?

You could try a sequence where the MC is in a half-conscious state, and overhears the nurse ticking off a list of personal details like name, gender, profession, (info derived from database/wallet I guess?) with side comments between doctor/nurses as fluff. Then segue into the “number” exchange scene as soon as the MC gets better.

Just my two cents. From another creator of a survival game. :wink:

Interesting premise btw! Looking forward to updates.

Really nice, I cant wait for more

Seems pretty great so far, did anyone call their dog Tobi?

The only criticism I have is that you don’t let me have a husky or a sausage dog. :frowning:

Newest Update. I changed up the beginning a lot so I’m curious for some more feeback.
Edit: Here it is: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/112702516/web/The%20Extraction/index.html

I can’t edit my previous comment, hence this one.
I fixed a couple of errors and here is the new update.

I got an error when I choose the samurai sword

Fixed the error https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/112702516/web/The%20Extraction/index.html

Edit: If you error out when confronting the man that’s because that’s how far I am.