WiP: The Dragon and the Princess (Adults Only. Erotica.)


#1

I’m around 83k words into an erotic story set in a medieval fantasy world with magic, dragons, etc. I estimate I’m about half done, but I concentrated mostly on the writing, meaning the stats aren’t fully integrated yet. I only have a few, and they aren’t used much yet. However, a good chunk of the story is there, though you’ll eventually start to run into unfinished sections.

You can choose the main character’s name, but nothing else. He’s a generic warrior type, and I chose not to have other options, like being female or gay, because, being a heterosexual male, I simply could not write from a female or homosexual perspective with any degree of quality. I also don’t have any customization of the main character because I wanted the focus to remain on writing the best erotic scenes I could, and worrying about all the permutations of skills, inventory, and other attributes would take away from that. I figure that for the target audience, this lack of customization would be totally fine.

The story starts off with the MC a few days journey from the dragon’s lair, his quest to rescue a recently kidnapped princess, whereupon he meets a beautiful but trash-talking female rogue who’s also seeking the dragon but for a different reason–to rob its horde. They journey together (or not, if the player so chooses), and I’m currently working on a very massive scene with many branches: all the different ways their first night together can go.

I believe this story merges erotic scenes with a full storyline and deep characters with personality and their own history in a way that makes it far more interesting than most erotic games. Please let me know what you think, what’s good, what’s not, and how I can make it better. The writing is still a little slap dash and full of typos, but don’t worry–I’ll get to proofreading it eventually. I just want to get our hero to the dragon’s lair and the adventures within!

Here’s the link: http://seductquest.ucoz.com/choice/web/dragon/

Warning: This game contains allusion to rape, and other content readers may find offensive.

EDIT: I’ve added a feature where you can hightlight some text in the game, hit Ctrl-ENTER, and a box will pop up to send me feedback. Please feel free to use it for typos as well as any constructive comments, criticisms, and suggestions. Thanks!


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#3

Good catch! I’ve fixed my local copy and will upload it soon.


#4

Have you played Loren the Amazon Princess? If you haven’t, you might try out the demo or check out a Let’s Play. It’s a similar theme, erotic dating sim with a fantasy-adventure plot. Maybe it’s just me, but I find that playing games in the same genre gives me ideas for how to do things differently, and confirms that my original ideas haven’t been done a hundred times before.

I’ll check out your demo when I get a chance, but it’s a crazy month for a lot of people on the forums… that contest is hypnotic. So, if things are quiet for a week in your thread, that could be why.


#6

Fixed the “juicy details” one. The loop, I think, is because that’s as far as I got, but just in case it’s a real bug, what exactly loops? Tamara asks for sugar and then what happens?


#8

Does it go through the part where it says:

If so, then, yeah, that’s because I haven’t written the breakfast section yet.

If you see “[This option is yet to be written.]” (or more than one of them) then the story might go some place weird after that, even into a loop. This is normal and will be fixed when I get to writing that choice.


#9

That Jerry Maguire reference made me burst out laughing. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

And, that smoked pork quip.
… Also, that beef jerky quip.
… … As well as the crackles of the fire quip.

Actually, the whole package is pretty great.

The wittiness of this game has me tickled pink. :joy:


#11

@Sashira, thanks for the advice. I have almost no experience with erotic games, but I think you’re right–I should study up on what’s already out there to help me make mine. And WHAT??? The contest is going on? Dang it, looks like I missed almost the whole month of coding time. I’m gonna try to whip something out.

@Packet, awesome. I wasn’t sure people’d share my silly sense of humor. LOL.

@faewkless, sorry, no pervy magic-users in this game, but there’s a wiccan-ish girl in my next one. I like the way you think, though! If you like pervy magic, make Tamara beg, then spurn her, and see what happens the next morning. It’s a less finished part, but if you make the right choices, magically interesting things happen. :wink:


#14

Just as a reminder from the “adult threads” section of the FAQ:

‘Furthermore, if you are a minor, and you tell us that you are a minor, and you post in a thread explicitly marked as “adult”, we will censor your posts.’


#15

Yay, someone’s using my nifty little in-game typo reporting thingie. Thank you, whoever you are! Tamara now no longer raises her fist mighty. (Changed to “mightily”.) And I had a comma instead of a period at another place.

The same person also pointed out that I’m inconsistent with the capitalization in DragonEye and dragoneye. That one… good point, but… I dunno. I like it capitalized when it’s first mentioned, but then that seems a bit much when it continues to be talked about. Anyone else have an opinion on that?


#16

After you choose to smear honey on Tamara’s boobs there is a variable error and there’s also another one when you are ask to choose where the phrase “the more things change the more they also stay the same” and also during the scene where Tamara wants you to beg.


#17

“dragons” yesssssssssssss

“you can only play as a heterosexual male” noooooooooooooo

Anyway like… ah… wasn’t there something called… Seer King (?), that was some kind of fantasy erotica? magic, but no dragons? Cis hetero male; I lost interest quickly, but I think it was part of a series.

edit: Yeah, written by the late Chris Bunch, apparently. A really obvious power fantasy. :confused:

won’t play further, but got this so far:
“it’s terrible magnificence was dreadfully clear” - its
"its aerie atop the far mountain range, DragonKeep." - I think the spelling “eyrie” is considered slightly more correct
also: lilypad2 line 142: bad label nextaskapproach

also " “I’m glad you didn’t follow me in there to rape me when I had my pants down.”

She smiles at her joke, and you realize she’s actually a little charming when she’s not her normal, ever-insulting self."

rape jokes are not good??? at all??? but. alright. im not going to go into that that’s your choice i guess.


#18

Indeed, that is kinda disturbing when you think about it :confused:


#20

@122BCooper

The author wrote it. It is a rape joke. I haven’t read the game so I don’t know the context of it but I don’t think the context matters. Making a rape joke in that sort of situation seems to be belittling the very real fear that some women live with. That an author, who’s already admitted that he doesn’t think he can write women with quality, is putting those words into a female character’s mouth, well, I can see why people might be apprehensive.

@Gantron

If you don’t believe you can write a female protagonist with any degree of quality, then how do you plan to overcome this obstacle in writing your female NPCs?


#21

Agree with this entirely. I find this extra-disturbing because the character’s rape joke is described as “charming”.


#22

I meant write romance or sex scenes from a female perspective, not in general. Also, I guess I shouldn’t have said I “couldn’t” because I probably could, just that I’d be uninspired.

I’m open to all feedback, so please don’t take this as my being closeminded to it. If the consensus is rape jokes are not good, I’ll definitely consider that, and while I agree they could belittle women’s very real fear, this story isn’t for women to be reading. Some may enjoy this kind of thing, and if so, great! I hope they take the joke for what it is, just something a “loopy” female warrior might joke about. Also, many women have rape fantasies. It’s part of the masculine-feminine dynamic. Rape is a terrible, terrible crime, almost the worst there is, but to make it into something it’s not is also wrong. In fantasy or joking in certain contexts, I believe it’s not only permissible but even healthy.


#23

Should we put a “warning for heterosexual men only” on this? :stuck_out_tongue: (I joke.)

The joke doesn’t feel like something a loopy woman warrior would say. But it does feel like something a heterosexual man’s wish-fulfillment fantasy would say. Which I know is what this game’s about anyway.

There’s a few things I’d like to unpack in what you’ve just said but I’m likely not the best person to do so. So I am going to keep my response short.

This feels irrelevant and beside the point. And also not something either of us seem qualified to discuss. So I’m just going to leave it here.

I do think, there’s certain subjects that it’s best not to joke about, especially if you’re speaking about them from a position of privilege about something that hasn’t directly affected you. I do think rape is one of those things.


#25

As much as I’ve enjoyed this game so far, you just lost me right there.

Not for women to be reading? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Was that meant to be read as ‘women aren’t the target audience of this story?’

I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt here.

Judging from the character’s personality and tendencies, she most likely would have consented if the MC had chosen to assert himself.
So, the ‘rape’ she’s joking about wouldn’t really be ‘rape.’

Still, rape is something I don’t enjoy trifling with, but I will stomach it in this scenario since it’s part of the gal’s characterization.

I gotta call this one out, bro.

I hate to say it, but if those women exist, they are very, very, delusional.

Rape and Male Dominance/Female Submission (in the masculine-feminine dynamic) are not the equivalent of each other. They are very, very much different.

Consensual sex is consensual sex.
Rape is rape.

No one, and I mean no one would ever want to be raped; by definition, it’s intercourse/sexual assault without a person’s consent.

I think that is what the dissenters are afraid of.

Rape jokes are all well and good until someone actually gets raped.
Then, it’s not funny anymore.

Granted, that’s the nature of Black Comedy.

Permissible? Maybe.
Healthy? I think the jury is still out on that one.


#26

It’s also heavily implied she rapes him at one point in the story? Yeah, having sex with someone when they’re unconscious is rape.

Now, I didn’t mention that on my first post because the story is very short, uncompleted, and I did not get very far. But it’s simply shrugged off because “oh, I am sexually attracted to this person” or “this is what men want” and never spoken of again. Though not usually by women, men can be raped and can be raped by women and this is extremely unhealthy.

People do get raped? On a daily basis? It’s never funny. Not unless it’s a joke condemning rapists to all hell. I have a friend who was raped when she was seven, okay? By her cousin’s friend, at a party. No one would dare mentioning such a joke around her, no one would dare mention such a thing for her, for her sake.

To quote twitter user priya: "women do not think all men are rapists. rapists think all men are rapists. this has been proven over & over in psycho profiles and studies. i get it, you’re making a rape joke. you would NEVER rape someone. you’re a good man who doesn’t understand why your ‘free speech’ is curbed.

HOWEVER, when you make a rape joke, there are 2 people who are very likely to hear it, due to high rape stats a) survivors, b) rapists

when you make a rape joke, a survivor relives in vivid, Technicolor sound, what was probably the worst memory of his or her life but you don’t care about that. they’re being too sensitive, right? fuck em.

but what about the RAPIST who hears you? the rapist hears you make that “oh bro i got raped at work today” joke and laughs right along with you, secretly validated. the rapist thinks to himself “oh, a man who thinks of rape as a normal part of life.” he thinks you’re a rapist too, bc you normalize it.

does that bother you? you, a good man who would never rape anyone? does it bother you that a rapist identifies with you? if that thought doesn’t make you look deep inside and examine your desire to make rape jokes, may God have mercy on your soul."

apart from that, i’d say decent game. okay writing, lore and atmosphere need a little fleshing out; you’re focusing on very vivid descriptions of sex, and basically nothing else. your idea of women needs a little working on, not very realistic, but then again, is an erotic game ever meant to be?


#28

I think the intense discussion that’s taken place here shows that your story would benefit from removing that offending sentence.

Sexual dynamics are complex and fraught things. It’s inevitable that erotica is an ethical minefield as a result. I do get the impression this is meant to be all in good fun, in which case, the best thing you can do is get feedback to ensure your game is just that: fun.

It’s obvious you’ve put a lot of work into this. I wish you luck.


#29

Yeah, didn’t get very far due to the whole ‘male power fantasy’ vibe. Which isn’t bad if you’re into it, but it’s not my thing. As others have said, get rid of the rape joke. It’s not funny, it’s not necessary and it just serves to put people off.
If the character in question really enjoys the fantasy of being taken advantage of (which is perfectly acceptable and normal), make sure to keep it clear that she’s talking about a fantasy. Don’t normalize the real thing.