WIP - That Which Lurks: In the Darkness (Poll on #84)

adult-fiction
nonbinary-inclusive
gender-choice
#1

Editing for what I am looking for:

  • I can not stress one enough, constructive criticism. I will be the first one to admit that I am severely lacking in the writing department, and I am willing to shed(?) blood sweat and tears to improve. So please do not afraid to point out if something just doesn’t make sense, or if a section sets so snoozing. I need comments like those to improve :slight_smile: so please do not hesitate to tear my work to shreds.

  • !Coding issues! I am brand new at coding so if you see something! Say something! /ad voice

  • honestly what ever constructive feed back you guys have. I appreciate all the time you take to read through my story, so I would love it if everything is all nice and tidy for everyone!

You are the sole survivor of a gruesome murder that took the lives of your entire family. The killer was never caught, and the authorities were more than content in claiming that it was simply an isolated incident.

If only it were true…

Twelve years have gone by since that night, murders have been growing exponentially and the killer still remains a mystery. The Bureau has assigned you and two of their best agents to finally put an end to the so called “Demon of Dawnbury”.

• Play as male, female or non-binary.
• Romance one of the four possible love interests, their gender is based on your sexual preference.
• Customize everything from your agents hair to their clothing.

At what lengths will you go to put your family’s murder behind bars?

That Which Lurks: In the Darkness- Will be the first book of the three part series.

Romance Options

Commanding Agent Dean/Daniella Pearson:
Pearson is the lead agent assigned to the case. Getting close to them will be difficult due to their sarcastic and cynical personality. They are 6’ 4’’ (6’ f!), slightly muscular build. They have soft blue eyes in contrast to their sharp facial features(m! constant 5 o’clock stubble). Accompanied with disheveled salt and pepper hair.

Agent seBASTION/elizaBETh Montgomery III:
Agent Bastian/Bet is the easygoing agent who you were assigned to shadow for the first few few years on the field. They are roughly 5’10 (f! 5’11) with a slim but athletic build. Shoulder length blonde hair that they keep tied back to keep out of their warm green eyes.

Dr. Myra/Mordecai Parker:
Dr. Parker has a quiet but friendly aura about them. They are a medical prodigy, graduating med school at the age of 20 thus being immediately recruited into the Bureau. They are calculating and thoughtful with. They have dark brown eyes, rich dark brown skin, and nearly bald head they keep shaven close. They have a slim and petite build.(m! 5’6", f! 5’ 4"). Very clean cut.

Marshal Jordan Harris
Jordan and yourselves have a history, very by the book, work focused and blunt. However underneath all that military training lies a person who will gladly throw themselves in the line of danger for someone else. Standing at 6’6"(f! 6’5") they have piercing grey eyes and short black hair that is shaved on the sides(f! long straight hair below shoulders) (m! Light stubble) Slightly tanned skin.

February 9th 2019 Changes

So far I have begun coding the prologue and the beginning of chapter one. Currently it stands at 2,548 words.

Since this is my first attempt at really coding, any help will be much appreciated! That being said, updates will be pretty slow till I get the hang of it, but hoping to push out updates steadily as I become familiar with the language.

I will post a link to the demo once I figure out how to fix this 404 error ;_;

February 10th 2019Changes

Demo is up!

  • halfway through chapter one
  • you get to meet the grumpy Pearson!
  • still lots of work to do, but I’m glad I have the demo up and running at least! Thank you again @The_Lady_Luck
February 12th 2019 Minor Update
  • Minor fixes toward the demo, including code related issues.
  • Added Harper interactions
  • Word count thus far stands at 4044
February 17th 2019 Major Update

*added link to new demo which includes
*meeting and interacting with Agent Montgomery
*stats! (still a wip so dialog might be a little wonky, but stats!!)
*added additional work clothing options. (If you guys think of any more options please do not hesitate to ask! I will also be adding the option for off duty clothing later in the game :slight_smile: )
*currant demo stands at 7k words~ (anticipating chapter one will be around 10/11k words)

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Here is the: Demo

167 Likes

#2

ohhhhh

I saw a movie like that once! but…there were no monsters . Just a bunch of psycho who stole stuff from a house and killed everyone , save for a little boy . So the little boy grow and become a cop . Man…that movie had such a bad ending though…

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#3

I haven’t seen it but would love to! TWL doesn’t have actual demons though, just a very bloodthirsty antagonist!

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#4

alas…it was an old movie , and I can’t seem to track it down :disappointed_relieved: sorry…

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#5

It’s all good :slight_smile: I love me some good crime shows so if u ever find it let me know :slight_smile:

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#6

yeah that movie was old…I was a kid when I saw it , it was on Teevee y’know . There are plenty of movies like that…I was never able to track down .

How about this one though , it has the best twist ever: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0264616/?ref_=tt_urv

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#7

Oh man, that looks right up my alley! I’ll definitely check it out!

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#8

What is the problem exactly? Maybe someone here can help.

And feel free to ask any coding-related questions, it’s amazing what the community can figure out, when we put our collective minds to it!

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#9

;_; your too kind! I’ve been wracking(is that the term?) my head around it for a few hours and doing research.

This is the error I’m getting when I go to play test it.

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#10

Are you sure all the files are uploaded?
If you send me the link, I can try to see if I find anything amiss.

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#11

I’m not sure honestly ^^; first time ever coding or using anything like this… ever hahah…
also, not trying to sound like a lost cause, but which link are you referring to?

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#12

The link to the exact page you screenshot. I can’t see all of the adress in the picture. :blush:

And I found it all very intimidating and confusing the first time I tried it too, so I’m sure you’re not alone.

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#13

Your prologue.txt isn’t capitalized, different to the one in your *scene_list.

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#14

This sounds awsome can’t wait to try it

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#15

I can’t wait to share it with you!

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#16

Demo is finally up! Sorry for the inconvenience!

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#17

He is attractive I guess, but now what I’m into.

not into ? or I know what I’m into ? :sweat_smile:

I catch a glimpse of me reflection off the side of his truck. my

she shoves her finger into the womans face despite the height difference.

Well thats the demo so far!

but it was getting Gooood…just 5 more minute! Pweaase! :rofl:

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#18

You know, disputed English being my native language, I still suck at it :joy::joy: thanks for the feed back I’ll fix those :slight_smile:

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#19

well it’s my 4th…so I will never be able to track all of those kind of errors (I also dont care often lol)…but I’m sure , you get better help from others who worrie about spelling and such :wink:

So you did change the story right? I didn’t hit my head and it feel new…:sweat_smile:

Edit: I need more coffee…apparently . Cose You actually never put a link up…and I was confusing your story with another WIP…:sweat: sorry…

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#20

No need to apologize :slight_smile: grab a cup for me too seems like I’m gonna need one too!

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